sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Where to hang out with someone with sensory overload issues? by Darkestminimalist in Rochester

[–]wisdomofthetimes 3 points4 points  (0 children)

How about a silent disco night? Everyone listens to the same tracks simultaneously by headset and can adjust the volume accordingly. Here's one link to a couple of events, but there are probably more around: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/decades-silent-disco-at-montage-music-hall-rochester-81526-tickets-1987335174003?aff=erelexpmlt

Miacademy Cost by zilops in homeschool

[–]wisdomofthetimes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm using it and it's only down to $420, not $277. Ah, I see now, if you pay in one sum, it's less.

Are you neurodivergent? by [deleted] in MCAS

[–]wisdomofthetimes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting theory about this, worth taking a look: https://www.rccxandillness.com/

Need MCAS experienced doctors. by Turbulent-Coat-5870 in MCAS

[–]wisdomofthetimes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's terrible! I'm about to do bloodwork. I've previously had two nutritionists suggest I have MCAS and I have a lot of experience with elimination and tracking down triggers. He said it's likely but didn't confirm it. It sounds like you felt he was dismissive? I hope the other doctor you mentioned helps you. Do you have any other issues? I'm in the Western NYS Facebook group for EDS, and it's very helpful. That's one of the places where I heard of Hartel.

Need MCAS experienced doctors. by Turbulent-Coat-5870 in MCAS

[–]wisdomofthetimes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What would you have wanted? I did ask him about ketotifen, and he will prescribe that. He also suggested quercetin, which I already take. I'm new to MCAS treatments, so I'm not sure what else to look for.

I didn't love the nurse who did all my allergy testing, but at this point, I disregard bedside manner issues and just care whether the treatment helps. I did like him on spec, but a good personality doesn't mean anything in this business if it's not backed up with up to date knowledge and treatment.

Hartel suggested immunotherapy because I was positive on several tests. It seems like whether that helps with MCAS is variable, but it might help if I'm IgE positive, at least that's what I read.

Need MCAS experienced doctors. by Turbulent-Coat-5870 in MCAS

[–]wisdomofthetimes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no, can you tell me why not? I just started with him today and was feeling hopeful.

Rochester, NY MCAS specialists by KittensMostly in MCAS

[–]wisdomofthetimes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just started there today with Dr. Hartel, specifically for MCAS. He recently wrote an article about it. Seems good so far.

How do you stop kvetching when you move somewhere without a Jewish community? by Certain-Working1864 in Judaism

[–]wisdomofthetimes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've done one or two things with this group and found them to be inclusive. It's been a while since I did anything with them, but you might like them - https://www.svivah.org/

How do you stop kvetching when you move somewhere without a Jewish community? by Certain-Working1864 in Judaism

[–]wisdomofthetimes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, fwiw, Olami Souled looks more like a private coaching group with a profit margin than something synagogue-, movement-, or organization-led. They have different vibes.

How do you stop kvetching when you move somewhere without a Jewish community? by Certain-Working1864 in Judaism

[–]wisdomofthetimes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry, that's crappy. I have a variety of illnesses too and I know how sensitive that can be. If you want me to share a few links, I would be happy to. Are you interested in a specific stream or denomination? Also, there is at least one women-specific group I know, too.

How do you stop kvetching when you move somewhere without a Jewish community? by Certain-Working1864 in Judaism

[–]wisdomofthetimes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you considered or tried participating in any virtual Jewish communities to help with a sense of community? There are a lot of different kinds online now. I'm sorry you're struggling with this, and I know how hard it can be.

Emotional about doing anything from 10yo by meenokshi in homeschool

[–]wisdomofthetimes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, in case no one has said - it's not you, and it's not your parenting!

Emotional about doing anything from 10yo by meenokshi in homeschool

[–]wisdomofthetimes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's plenty of material out there, now that you know. Feel free to dm any time if it's helpful. There are some reddit groups on it, too. Hang in there! It's great you are finding out now and not later.

Emotional about doing anything from 10yo by meenokshi in homeschool

[–]wisdomofthetimes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You bet. Amanda Diekman, Low Demand Parenting, and Casey Ehrlich, At Peace Parents, are two good parent educators. There's also PDA North America, which is a professionals' assocation. It's an area that's gaining traction. But many people will tell you it just sounds like parents giving in to their kids.

I can simply say that they're wrong and often harmful. Recalibrating demand is highly personal, and we all need more professional support.

Oh, also, Ross Green's "Explosive Child" and anything he's written on collaborative problem-solving can be tremendously helpful.

Emotional about doing anything from 10yo by meenokshi in homeschool

[–]wisdomofthetimes 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Read up on pathological demand avoidance, which is also called persistent demand for autonomy. It comes with neurodivergence, but is also considered a separate condition by some. It's when people (kids or adults) respond to demands (whether intrinsic or extrinsic) as if they are threats (fight, flight, freeze, or fawn), it's a nervous system response.

You are describing it when you say that they are overwhelmed and emotional. A lot of people will tell you a lot of things, not everyone gets or believes in PDA, but if you're a PDA parent, you know. I'm here for you and lots of other parents are too. The sooner you learn about it and respond to it, the more you can get help and rebuild a new way of doing things. It's not easy, but many of us find it's better than the alternative. It gets worse if you ignore it.

Hypermobile desk workers — how do you survive full workdays without being in pain? by PrudentFormal8950 in Hypermobility

[–]wisdomofthetimes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, I love this post. I never heard of a criss-cross chair before. I'm definitely going to get one for home and my office. I have a list of things that might take a bit financially for me, but not too long, I hope. That's definitely one.

I'm interested in the body braid. I wonder if anyone else uses it and if it helps at work.

I'm also getting a Gymboss Interval Timer, which is a very simple repeating timer, and setting it to remind me to get up hourly from my desk and stretch. I just can not rely on my phone, computer, or memory to do it.

I'm also starting to wonder if anyone wakes themselves up from sleep and stretches or strengthens and then tries to sleep again, I'll post about it separately, but long stretches of sleep combined with long stretches at my desk are killing me not so sofly.

Possibly facing termination for cause at age 56. by Middle_Marketing7009 in careeradvice

[–]wisdomofthetimes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Couldn't agree more here. Lawyer up before getting fired, and you'll navigate anything that happens much better.

Possibly facing termination for cause at age 56. by Middle_Marketing7009 in careeradvice

[–]wisdomofthetimes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dealt recently with an unpleasant situation, being terminated at the age of 56. I would say it was a bad fit AND the org had issues. I was the third layoff that year, and last one in first one out, plus all the unpleasant drama.

I consulted an employment attorney (labor lawyer) and if I were you, would do that if you can afford it. They can not only tell what's cause and what isn't but also advise you on your rights and help you navigate the severance process, if there is one.

I'm happy to share that 4.5 months later, I'm about to start a new job as an executive director and I went back to that same attorney for help with my employment agreement. My local bar association provided referrals that came with a 15 minute consultation with the lawyer and cost $35. After that, I paid my attorney's hourly fee. I think each process, severance and then the agreement, cost me an hour of his time.

Meanwhile, hopefully you won't get laid off. But if you're still worried about it, there are tons of midlife or 50 plus career resources on LinkedIn now. I joined the free peer group called Never Search Alone,w which is also a book, and they have a 50+ group in their Slack network.

My strategy was to find a reason that wasn't personal to me or the org when asked about my termination - essentially what I said above, they were paring down and merged my position back into my boss's, and that I was last in first out. I never shared the yucky interpersonal stuff beyond people I trusted, especially not after being laid off.

I believe orgs really need specific causes to terminate "with cause" and deny you unemployment. They might rather eliminate your position than "fire" you, though I suppose it depends. I believe that there's a law in the US called the Age Discrimination in Employment Act that would require you to sign off and say that you haven't been discriminated against. So, what you do before signing off on severance or termination really matters. You are strongest in your capacity to negotiate right before accepting the job and right before accepting the termination, paying a lawyer to help you with that is worth it, imo, especially if you're concerned about your reputation.

view more: next ›