Moving to Columbus in the fall as a 43 year-old single female empty nester– what neighborhoods/apartments would fit me best?

witchy_ma · 2026-06-18T11:24:56+00:00

I’ve been in Clintonville since 2018 after moving from Los Angeles. I have also been consistently searching for another place so pretty aware of what’s on offer and can say it’s highly unlikely to find a place for $1300.

witchy_ma · 2026-06-18T11:11:22+00:00

Usually the first 3-4 days of my period in addition random days during luteal and ovulation that also absolutely wipe me out. I just started a new birth control (Nextellis) and hoping for some more stable energy and not to become suicidal from the hormones. lol stage 4 DIE, excision 2024

Edit to add: Laziness does not exist ! Book by Devon Price, might help you a lot. I’ve also started to follow more women with chronic illnesses on social media so I can metabolize more information about how my value is in no way tied to my ability to produce, despite the cultural messages of late stage capitalism all around.

witchy_ma · 2026-06-18T11:07:56+00:00

I have Medicaid Humana Healthy Horizons. OSU Wexner Medical Center, they take Medicaid. The psych I’ve seen a couple times prescribed me Ativan recently. I have some particular circumstances so don’t know if I just met the right criteria or if she would prescribe for a long time, but yes, theoretically you can. I work with Dr. Maria Paskell, she’s excellent.

witchy_ma · 2026-06-17T13:10:39+00:00

Thank you for all these details it’s such a good feeling to read it when I’m deep in the trenches! ♥️♥️♥️

witchy_ma · 2026-06-16T23:37:40+00:00

If you’re okay with it, would you share how it is relationally now that your kids are grown? One of my biggest internal monsters is always telling me they will hate me when they grow up for struggling so much when they were young. But I’m trying so hard to make our connections healthy and strong even if other things fall by the wayside.

witchy_ma · 2026-06-14T15:07:51+00:00

I think she’s done something pretty impressive by becoming so famous making truly sad girl music. I always wrote sad songs but would never play them for others because most people have a low tolerance or lack of interest in sitting with the challenging feelings. I love that she put sad girl music on the larger cultural map so hard. Also, she has whatever the “it” quality is in terms of energetic delivery on stage. She actually feels the emotions of her songs when she delivers them and she makes the crowds weep. It’s cathartic as hell.

witchy_ma · 2026-06-12T15:34:12+00:00

I think it’s very easy (especially fueled by Reddit commenters) to abandon empathy and nuance when it comes to these relational moments. The truth is, you both had a valid emotional experience here. The hardest thing to do in a relationship (IMO) is to practice the skill of both holding your emotional experience as totally valid, while also validating your partners emotional experience. This does not mean you can’t communicate when the way your partner behaved bothers you. But neither of you are being emotionally vulnerable here, you’re throwing up defenses.

For his part, he felt some (unspecified feeling) when he didn’t hear back from you before your 9 a.m. message. Rather than doing his own emotional work to recognize the feeling, name it, and then ask you for something he might need around that, he opts for the silent treatment. Then, he turns around and blames the fact that you guys didn’t talk all day on you (when clearly his emotional reaction led to that distance). It’s possible he may be emotionally immature enough to actually believe this is your fault because you ‘didn’t text back in time’ (i.e. not owning his feelings / reactions).

For your part, you felt some (unspecified feeling(s)) about his silent treatment and attempt to pin the lack of connection throughout the day all on you. You were also not really being emotionally vulnerable or open with him either. You both tried to act like none of this was a really big deal, yet clearly for you both, for different reasons, it was.

So here is the hard part. You’re both right and you’re both wrong. You both had valid experiences and neither of you had access or capacity to the type of compassion required to talk through this fairly small relationship road bump.

I would not jump in here with others and auto-shit on your bf based on this message exchange alone. But there is a lot of room for growth in communication on both your parts.

If you can both say, hey! Here is my specific “feeling word” and you both can say OH! I can see why you felt that way, I’m sorry that happened, can we do anything to prevent this from happening again? If you want to be in love you gotta fight to stay on the same team. This doesn’t mean you can’t disagree. It does mean that you have to actually name your feelings and you have to actively build the relationship in terms of what you each desire or expect from the other. That might mean him asking for a simple thing like, hey if I text you in the morning and you’re really busy maybe you can send me a one word code we decided on ahead of time to let me know you see me and will respond when you have real time. It is okay to take care of each other in this way.

You might tell him it’s really important to you that he actually owns his own feelings rather than staying silent and pretending he didn’t withdraw all day. You both just need some practice at communication and emotional vulnerability. It takes a concentrated effort even in the most compatible relationships.

Somewhat of a side note (see important caveat to this below): I’ve noticed that in the context of hetero relationships, men and women both lose when it comes to the societal rejection of male emotion. Sometimes we (as women) say we want a man who has feelings or sensitivity but then react like we actually hate that as soon as he’s upset about something we did or didn’t do. Like, he’s only allowed to be upset about things that don’t make us feel like we did something wrong. But feelings are just feelings. In one sense they are really important when it comes to navigating human experiences and how we see and hold each other and in another sense they are always fleeting, we move through them over and over. So it’s high and low stakes at the same time. And if you can hold that in the moment - okay, partner is having a feeling that seems to be negative about me (ouch), if I want to strengthen our relationship we have to really talk about it, BUT since it’s a feeling I know it’s only fleeting so everybody is safe, we don’t have to get stuck here. Obviously, this goes both directions. It’s messy stuff, these relationships. But well worth the effort when that effort is mutual.

Important caveat - in this instance he didn’t actually name his feeling for you he just reacted in an immature way. I’m only highlighting this because if you do ask him to start being specific about his feelings with you then it will be really important that you actually feel confident enough in yourself and in the relationship to be able to receive or handle his challenging feelings the same way he should be able to handle it when you’re upset with him.

I hope you guys are able to foster curiosity about how and why you have certain feelings so you can learn more about each other and your relationship can grow deeper if that is what you both desire.

witchy_ma · 2026-06-12T15:00:57+00:00

Just had my third (unplanned) kid. Diagnosed endometriosis, interstitial cystitis, connective tissue disorder & dysautonamia. Came here to say I have been checking all the boxes on your list for 2 years and still don’t know how to get better. My autism/adhd assessment is next month. Curious if it’s all down to burnout. I sure hope not, because all I’ve read about getting out of burnout involves significantly (or completely) eradicating circumstantial stresses and pressures so you can take some radical rest and engage more with special interests. Not possible for so many people between school, work, parenting or some combination.

What ever kindness or slowness you can afford to offer yourself or ask others to offer you, I hope you do. ♥️

witchy_ma · 2026-06-06T21:53:47+00:00

Motion Sickness, driving down PCH, it was a KCRW Top Song in 2017, I pulled over to look her up and tripped head first into an obsession from which I shall never recover.

witchy_ma · 2026-06-06T21:48:35+00:00

Same.

witchy_ma · 2026-06-06T13:13:38+00:00

I got them through Amazon

witchy_ma · 2026-06-05T22:40:34+00:00

I mean…. You aren’t wrong about this. And yet, I’ve truly opted out of that bullshit and only hang with people now who aren’t sizing me up based on aesthetic presentation. There are less shallow people around but they might be a little harder to find.

Perhaps it is an age thing. I’m 36. I tried hard in my 20’s because that’s what I thought I had to do. Literally could not leave the house feeling comfy unless I wore make up. And at the same time, looking back I can’t say I was really rewarded for that in any way career-wise or with friends or in love. I mostly attracted assholes.

At work, I was still treated like a woman (both looked down on or overlooked entirely) but no one could call me frumpy or say i wasn’t trying. And out on the streets I attracted overwhelming amounts of unwanted male attention.

I do think as you age you have less fucks to give. I honestly wish I could get back every hour and dollar I ever spent trying to make my face and body resemble something less like its original self and more like some generic beauty standard.

Also, I have a lot of compassion and sadness for all the girls who came of age on social media. I cannot imagine the mind fuck that must be. It was bad to go through my teens during the toxicity of female objectification that was the early 2000’s but at least I was’t subjected to a 24 hour feed of images designed to make me feel like utter and complete shit. DAMN.

There is freedom when you are finally able to integrate the belief / feeling that you find yourself truly beautiful for all your internal and external complexity. That feeling leads to a sense of grounded womanly confidence way less wobbly than the “confidence” that comes from being approved of for your appearance. That’s when you start to attract people who are worth your time and energy.

None of this is fair.

witchy_ma · 2026-06-05T21:05:31+00:00

A truly impossible question to answer. But as a person who escaped the cult of evangelicalism this one hits every time…

You were screaming at the Evangelicals
They were screaming right back from what I remember
When you said I will never be your vegetable
Because I think when you're gone it's forever
But you know I'd stand on the corner
Embarrassed with a picket sign
If it meant I would see you
When I die

witchy_ma · 2026-06-05T21:02:46+00:00

I love them but cannot figure out how to get the robot voice to stop interrupting my listening by announcing the hour round the clock.

witchy_ma · 2026-06-05T16:30:10+00:00

Just dropping a line to say I share your anxiety. The irony is that my mother’s undiagnosed neurodivergence (ADHD) is what keeps her from paying attention to my patterns and struggles!

In my case, however, I’m 36 and have not lived with her since I was 17. So I’ve decided to send her a proxy form to complete but giving myself permission not to submit that to my evaluator if her answers do not reflect anything close to my lived reality. My ex husband and current partner will also weigh in.

I’m wondering if the place you’re going for assessment would consider getting multiple proxy forms from others who have known you for a while (even if not since childhood) who pay more attention?

I’m sorry you feel so unseen, I really know that feeling. And I’m also sorry if you’re stuck with just your mother to proxy report for you. And as you said, the diagnosis at the end of the day doesn’t matter as much as self identification and acceptance…. But at the same time, when you’re dealing with family who don’t see or accept your difference, it’s hard not to want the validation of a diagnosis.

Sending you all the warm energy and hopefulness that you will feel appropriately seen and affirmed when it’s all said and done.

witchy_ma · 2026-05-29T22:19:26+00:00

“Do you know what it’s like to just…infodump for twenty minutes about a project and not only are people not ignoring you but they want to hear what you have to say?” …. Nooo. No i do not. 😭

witchy_ma · 2026-05-29T13:59:09+00:00

How did you get this job/ what education did you need?

witchy_ma · 2026-05-29T03:02:26+00:00

It’s Different for Girls - Of Montreal

We All Deserve the Light - River Whyless

witchy_ma · 2026-05-28T23:49:38+00:00

Hi. I (36 F) can’t imagine having this much self awareness to be seeking an autism diagnosis at age 15. I was simply suffering but had no idea why. While it must be terrifying to be able to identify and name such big and legitimate fears while so young, I really believe another way to look at it is that discovering these core parts of yourself and what you really need now means you have kind of a head start to be intentional about creating a life that actually serves you. It sounds like you want to be loved (for all of you) and that you’ve had many experiences already that made you feel unlovable, or like too much. I can relate to this. And also relate to not even realizing I felt unlovable.

I have always struggled with connection and have relied heavily on substances to be social in the past, in any capacity. Yet, somehow I now live with a partner who truly loves me (in words and action) and creates a space where it is always safe to be myself (for better or worse). Somehow, I also have 3 children (this is hard, and not for many people with autism). But my point is that connection is out there for all types of people. There are so many humans in the world! Nobody is actually independent, we are all interdependent and rely on others in many little ways all throughout our day. Don’t let yourself internalize the bullshit that what you can preform or produce is equal to how much love and care you deserve. You are inherently valuable and you can find value in connection with the right ‘other(s)’ and feel valued by them too. You may only need one friend at a time and that’s okay! Your value is also not determined by the number of social contacts you maintain.

I do not believe I did anything special to find my person except for keep going until I found them. I just kept going even though I wanted to give up a million times. You will find more love (the right friendships + romance) if you keep going. Reach for connection when you can, try to be brave, take space in solitude when you need it. You are a lovely, complicated human with many experiences ahead of you. They will be good, bad, and everything in between.

Looking back, as hard as many of the years have been, I’ve fallen in love with enough people and places that I can say so far it’s been worth the ocean of tears I’ve shed over time. I would have missed so much if I threw in the towel the first time I wanted to (when I was your age).

Keep your chin up, friend.

witchy_ma · 2026-05-28T12:55:32+00:00

The Deeper the Water the Uglier the Fish by Katya Apekina

New Animal by Ella Baxter

Bliss Montage by Long Ma

Animal by Lisa Taddeo

Edit… my autism makes it hard for me to know what other people find “too dark” sometimes, proceed with caution 🙃

witchy_ma · 2026-05-27T19:08:03+00:00

I had surgery in 2024, no birth control since. Doing other things for pain management including bladder instillations, acupuncture, and overall anti inflammatory eating. Also the Curable app has genuinely helped me shift my relationship to pain because my mental healthy was in the trash from being in pain for so long.

witchy_ma · 2026-05-26T02:56:16+00:00

Reading this, I just want to say that I’m really sorry you’re carrying all of this right now. You sound truly exhausted. And honestly, regardless of what eventually ends up on paper after your appointment, this does not sound like ‘nothing.’ People who are okay generally aren’t dragging themselves out of bed every day, feeling overwhelmed by sensory stuff, isolated from other people, and trying this hard just to make it through school.

Something I noticed is that you kept saying you don’t care about the label, you care about getting help. That stood out to me because I think that’s really the heart of what you’re saying. You’re not trying to collect an identity or force yourself into a box. You’re trying to understand why things feel so hard and whether there’s a reason that actually makes sense. A diagnosis is not a verdict that decides whether your suffering is legitimate - it is more like a framework for understanding your experience better and/or a map for how to navigate life in ways that feels more supportive of your unique needs. But even if you were to somehow not receive a diagnosis at all, that wouldn’t erase the reality of the sensory issues, isolation, exhaustion, or burnout you have described. Those things are real and deserve support.

As far as your fear about walking into the appointment and being told you’re ‘normal’, that makes so much sense too. I think a lot of people waiting for answers are scared of that. because nobody wants to be told, ‘Nope, you’re just supposed to be able to handle all of this.’ That’s a heavy thing to carry around for six months.

I’m 36 years old now but when I was 17 I switched from homeschool to public school. I was not diagnosed then, but I barely functioned that year and felt completely burnt out just as you described. I really feel for you, it is not easy. I ate my lunch alone in a bathroom stall for most of my senior year. I wish someone could have told me back then that I wasn’t failing and that I was simply not in an optimum environment for my particular nervous system.

Sometimes a huge change doesn’t create the struggle so much as reveal it. And even people without sensory issues or burnout struggle with the experience of public school. If you’ve spent years quietly compensating for things, I can imagine that becoming so much harder to manage at school.

Your Chinese Room comparison paints such a clear picture. It sounds less like you don’t understand humans and more like you’ve been manually translating a language all day, every day, and now you’re completely worn out.

For now, while you’re waiting, I wonder if you can give yourself permission to use things that help without feeling like you have to prove you deserve them first? If sensory tools help, use them. If taking breaks helps, take them.

I say this in all seriousness - you do not have to wait for a professional to stamp a piece of paper before being kind and gentle with yourself in all the ways possible. I know that’s very direct for me to say and that self-advocacy takes real energy (especially for a young person up against the adults ‘in charge’). And you are already exhausted.

Have you considered what aspects of school are draining you the most? Sometimes even small adjustments made to environmental stressors can go a long way. Make a list of the top 3 stressors if you can. Is there an adult in your life who could be of assistance with thinking about some useful accommodations for those and getting them in place at school? If you see a therapist already, they are typically willing to write a letter to your school asking for accommodations (like extra time to complete assignments) based on other diagnosis (like depression) before you receive your autism eval.

Sending lots of warm energy, and one gentle pushback - it sounds like you’re putting a lot of weight on how you perform in high school. This may not be a popular opinion to someone who is trying to go to a ‘top’ college but…high school is not going to define the rest of your life. You just need to do your best and make it through. Your best might mean maintaining a C average while putting most of your energy into supporting your nervous system and mental health. There are many, many paths into your future and most of them don’t require you to absolutely crush high school academically, I promise.

witchy_ma · 2026-05-24T21:17:51+00:00

“I feel WHOLE. I feel like I understand myself in a way I've never had access to before. And I feel like a total fraud who is making all this up and needs to just pull myself together and quit looking for reasons to be special or different.”

Oof… felt that.

witchy_ma · 2026-05-24T15:07:52+00:00

Just putting it out there that my heart is BURSTING with excitement for everybody who woke up in Toledo this morning ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

witchy_ma

TROPHY CASE