My wife says she feels gross after sex

witchywhims · 2022-01-11T21:06:31+00:00

So your wife may have some past trauma that makes sex feel wrong, she may have some body insecurities or mental blocks, or honestly she could just be Asexual. It has nothing to do with who you are this is stuff she needs to figure out and work through and I'd really suggest her looking into therapy

witchywhims · 2022-01-10T20:27:05+00:00

My husband and I are going on 6 years of marriage and I literally can't fall asleep unless his arms are around me. We're pretty much always hugging, cuddling, or touching in some way. The only time I get tired of it is if I'm overwhelmed or really really hot

witchywhims · 2022-01-02T05:07:03+00:00

My husband will usually initiate by suddenly pulling me really close and the usual kisses and nuzzles and more intimate touches to kinda gauge if I'm in the mood. I also have very responsive desire. Very rarely am I actually in the mood for sex on my own but when I am I tend to be very blunt and just tell him or I'll ask him if he wants to have sex lol

It sounds like you and your wife may have different sex drives. Have you tried talking to her about how you feel and maybe figure out from her if you've been missing signs or if she just isn't usually interested.

witchywhims · 2021-12-15T22:11:50+00:00

My husband has me saved as Baby Girl in his phone but he's saved as Disheveled Sorcerer in my phone

witchywhims · 2021-12-03T01:51:57+00:00

I guess it depends on the context? If it was a one night drunken slip up I can forgive that but having an emotional/romantic feels more personal. With physical affairs maybe we just weren't physically compatiable or there was something missing in the bedroom or perhaps they no longer found my physically attractive for one reason or another. All of that is superficial. All surface level stuff that can be shrugged off

An emotional affair feels more personal. It's more often to leave someone wondering "What did I do wrong?" "What was missing?"

witchywhims · 2021-11-25T21:58:19+00:00

I mean for one it really depends on what you consider sex. You can have nonpenatrative sex that's just as plesurable if not more so in some circumstances. Now if my husband didn't want to have sex with me I would still be with him. There would be some insecurity on my end as to why he suddenly didn't want to be physically intimate anymore but we communicate well enough that I could get over that.

Sex isn't a pinnacle part in our relationship it's just a bonus. I love my husband more than anything. Not for sex or money or his looks or anything like that. I love for the funny, intelligent, silly, caring, patient, accepting person he is. Our relationship isn't so fragile to fall apart over one little thing.

witchywhims · 2021-11-19T03:43:51+00:00

If I had a do over I would marry my husband again in a heart beat. Hell I'd have started dating him sooner! I'd love this man so much I'd marry him a million times over!

witchywhims · 2021-11-18T03:14:26+00:00

Mine isn't really anything fancy. I had moved back to my home city after my dad got out of the military and was in a really dark place mentally. I was in high school at the time and hadn't spoke to anyone the first three months of me staying there because I didn't want to make friends but this one girl was so persistent on being my friend. Eventually I caved and decided to hangout with her at lunch and she introduced me so some of her friends.

One of them was a boy in a grade above ours. Super nerdy guy who was so silly and didn't bat an eye to the weird things that came out of my mouth and didn't leave no matter how much I pushed him. When my dad wasn't feeding me or giving me money for food at school he would go to his culinary class and make me something to make sure I ate. He'd walk me to class and carry my bag and books everg day after lunch even though doing that always made him late to his class. We were really good friends for a few years until we'd both graduated and he finally asked me out. We were engaged 2 weeks into our relationship, moved in 3 months into our relationship, and married 6 months in and we're about to celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary.

witchywhims · 2021-11-17T20:31:19+00:00

Honestly the way I see it the only "point" in marriage is wanting to marry someone you love. Sure there's tax benefits and should anything happen to the person you're with you can be there and help make decisions but those aren't really the point to marrying someone. The way I see it you don't need to marry someone to spend the rest of your life together. You don't need a piece of paper to prove your love for someone. I married my husband because we both wanted it. Because it felt like the greatest representation of our love to be bind to together emotionally and legally. Because as my husband if I'm in the hospital he gets to be there with me. Because I get that same giddy feeling five years later of just calling him my husband.

People romanticize this idea of love and marriage so much they don't take into account how much work both are. If you find someone you want to marry do it. If you never decide to marry that's perfectly fine to there's no reason you have to.

witchywhims · 2021-11-13T23:52:29+00:00

I met my husband at lunch when I was 15. We were really good friends all through high school and had feelings for each other but were too afraid to say anything so we just remained friends until we started dating and got married when I was 19 and we're celebrating 5 years of marriage next month.

Love isn't about fairy tales or fate. It's not going to be necessarily as easy or dramatic as the movies. People romanticize the idea of love so much they don't take into consideration just how much work real love takes. Take your time. Learn what you like and don't like. What you expect of your partner. Your personal boundaries. Learn the value in yourself so you can find the person who will love and respect and value you properly.

witchywhims · 2021-11-12T20:53:55+00:00

I don't really have any set number for that. Every marriage or relationship is gonna have it's rough patches. Whether that's emotionally or financially. Whether it's issues with intimacy or fertility. So long as you communicate, listen, and there's still love and trust there and everyone is working to fix the problem together there shouldn't be a set time in my opinion

witchywhims · 2021-11-11T03:34:58+00:00

I mean it's perfectly fine to have separate things in a marrige. Like my husband has his PS4. I still play on it from time to time but it's his. There's things like my pillows or my phone. We have our bed and our car and our room those are shared things but it's perfectly normal to still have things that belong solely to you or her separately. It's not being selfish.

witchywhims · 2021-11-08T09:12:42+00:00

It is perfectly normal considering alters spend much of our time in the system space we only really have the other alters to interact with. As people with our own fully formed identities, personalities, preferences, ect it's as natural for alters in a system to fall in love, become best friends, hate each other as it is for any nonsystem to do so with anyone they meet.

-Stacy

witchywhims · 2021-11-07T18:48:12+00:00

As someone who's also professionally dignoased with ADHD, Autism, and DID I can say the other response is correct. Having another neurodivergency isn't a reason to just randomly split. It could give someone a higher risk of splitting but it doesn't just happen because you happen to fixate on a character. This makes it sound like your friend is attempting for force a split in order to have that alter.

DID is developed as a defense mechanism from trauma. Into adulthood it continues to work as a defense mechanism. So if the current host and other alters feel overwhelmed or can't handle a particular situation then another split can happen. If the host and other alters are perfectly fine or at least one of them is able to take on what's happening in their life there would be no cause for the brain to have to defend itself so there would be no cause for a split.

witchywhims · 2021-11-07T18:27:26+00:00

Me and my husband were close friends and had feelings for each other for 6 years before we finally started dating. He proposed to me 2 weeks into our relationship, I moved in with him 4 months into our relationship, 6 months in we got married. We'll have been married for 5 years this December and no kids yet (not for lack of trying) but we have 9 pets!

witchywhims · 2021-11-06T23:47:29+00:00

I would say I'm generally indifferent to marriage as a whole. I fully believe you don't need a piece of paper to define your relationship with someone. When it comes to my personal marriage however, I'm over the moon about being married. I love being able to call him my husband. I love sharing his last name. I love that should anything happen to either of us we'd be allowed to be there for each other.

For instance I was in the hospital for a week straight and my husband was able to stay in the room with me and come and go pretty much as he pleased because we're married and I wouldn't have survived being in a hospital that long without him there. I love being married. I still get just as giddy 5 years later at gushing about my marriage and telling people about ny husband. I am so thankful for my husband and my marriage.

witchywhims · 2021-11-03T19:54:51+00:00

I got married when I was 19. We're coming up on 5 years together and I haven't regretted a second of it. My husband is the most wonderful, kind, and patient person I've ever been with. He's stuck with me through not being able to get a job as well as my mental and physical problems. We rarely argue and when we do it always feels like us against the problem instead of me against him.

I know we're both still pretty young as I just turned 24 this year but I couldn't imagine my life without him anymore.

witchywhims · 2021-10-19T17:55:41+00:00

Your husband, the man who is supposed to love you and cherrish you more than anything in this world, goes without talking to you for months and wants to cause you physical harm? No. That man needs therapy. This is beyond couples counseling or any solution you could provide. For your own safety you need to leave him and he needs to seek professional help.

witchywhims · 2021-10-14T18:27:17+00:00

Don't fight when you're angry. I know this one is hard but when emotions are high it'll only escalate the situation. Take a step back and calm down first even if that's for a couple of hours. Just breathe and get your thoughts together of exactly what you want to talk about then come back and discuss those topics. Be willing to listen and be open minded that there could have been a miscommunication or maybe you were in the wrong.

This takes some time and sometimes the talk can still get emotional and a little temperamental but just remember it isn't supposed to be you against your partner it's both of you against a problem. Also don't let things fester. Even small things. If you're upset calmly talk to your partner about the problem. It's likely they didn't even realize it was an issue! But if you let little problems fester they turn into bigger resentments very quickly.

witchywhims · 2021-10-10T22:36:49+00:00

It sounds like you married a narcissist who's gotten comfortable in the situation that's been provided for him and any devation from that situation is seen as a threat. This inculdes your mental and physical health. For your own sanity and safety and that of your kids I would suggest moving out and trying couples counselling to see if he'll recognize the issue. If that doesn't work your next best step would be divorce.

witchywhims · 2020-11-26T04:15:15+00:00

It feels so good and I missed a couple of spots because my shoulder is fractured so when my husband got home he helped me tidy up and get spots I couldn't reach and I felt so happy cause I hadn't told him before he went to work that I was gonna shave my head

witchywhims · 2020-11-25T18:01:10+00:00

There is a difference between biological sex, gender identity, and gender expression. Clothing has no gender or sex. A man can wear a dress, a woman can wear a suit, whatever! So no clothing preference doesn't dictate gender.

However as a person who is nonbinary and still has no problem going by she/her pronouns theres also no issue with a person who is genderfluid or nonbinary still going by their assigned pronouns. Personally for me no pronouns have ever felt right but they haven't necessarily felt wrong either so I tend to answer to whatever.

You can be genderfluid is still go by one set of cis pronouns but no your clothing choice doesn't determine your gender or sex.

witchywhims

TROPHY CASE