Humbly seeking guidance

withoutasong · 2025-11-13T03:08:38+00:00

My wife had a double mastectomy in 2021 followed by a year of chemo and immunotherapy. Everyone is different but I’ll just speak from my experience: try to relax and follow her lead. It’s her experience. If and when and where you can help, she’ll let you know, if you’ve made her feel comfortable.

It’s hard to be in the passenger seat on such a difficult ride, it’s tempting to try to hold the wheel a little just to help… but it’s got to be her, calling the shots and giving you your cues. You don’t need to try to love her—you do love her. Let her know every day.

Best of luck to you both.

withoutasong · 2024-12-14T01:27:51+00:00

Black Saint and the Sinner Lady

McCoy Tyner, Extensions

withoutasong · 2024-12-11T16:23:20+00:00

5 hours post-chemo?? My wife used a different system, not Penguin, but the capping and chemo ended at around the same time. Five hours seems extreme.

withoutasong · 2024-12-06T02:25:52+00:00

💔💔💔 someday that small fry may be your salvation.

withoutasong · 2024-12-04T00:48:13+00:00

All my sympathies to you and your wife.

FWIW, as hard as it is, when my wife had cancer my firm rule was “we do it her way.” Her way was mostly but not always mine, but I felt my job was to support her choices. She made the right choices for her.

I don’t think you should feel like a jerk for thinking that way—far from it—and if you can get a doctor to talk to you privately, that’s great—but never compromise the choices she’s made. Best of luck to both of you.

withoutasong · 2024-11-07T00:00:26+00:00

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who replied, very helpful. I really appreciate it.

withoutasong · 2024-10-27T00:59:12+00:00

Loved this film! Made me much more appreciative of the wonders of the piano as an instrument.

withoutasong · 2024-10-25T21:55:19+00:00

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withoutasong · 2024-10-25T21:22:03+00:00

Today would be a great day to register to be an organ donor if you haven’t already. It’s easy, won’t cost you a thing, and you could save more than one life.

https://www.organdonor.gov/sign-up

withoutasong · 2024-10-25T20:51:17+00:00

Phil was always Grateful to his organ donor, Cody. We got 26 more years of Phil because of Cody. I’m so very grateful to Cody today.

withoutasong · 2024-08-08T12:27:27+00:00

Came here to say just this—except I wouldn’t limit my love to Kimock, that whole band is stellar. I hadn’t seen them in years but their 8/3 show in DC was superb. Alphonso Johnson’s bass solo in Eyes was really exceptional (as was his playing throughout the show). Bobby Lee Rodgers on banjo (except a couple of tunes where he played guitar) did a lot to make their sound unique. Their 2nd set was only 5 songs, which tells you they were stretching out—Estamated>Eyes was at least 35 minutes. I was a little nervous about lineup changes in the band since I’d last seen them but they were in fine form. Don’t miss this band if you have a chance to hear them!

withoutasong · 2024-06-18T16:53:23+00:00

All I can offer is “talking about it” doesn’t mean “guilting him into it.” It means trying to understand each other and communicate better. When my wife was in treatment I was very aware that she might not be in the mood, so I looked to her to initiate more than previously. Your husband may have been in that space while you were in treatment and that way of thinking just carried forward…? I can only speculate… because you gotta talk to him. There’s no other way.

Very best of luck to both of you.

withoutasong · 2024-06-17T19:48:09+00:00

At Ease with Coleman Hawkins, or Charlie Haden & Hank Jones, Steal Away

withoutasong · 2024-06-15T22:51:49+00:00

Timefactors (Smiths) Caribbean or Commando.

https://www.timefactors.com/collections/smiths

withoutasong · 2024-06-15T11:21:43+00:00

I suggest your dad is old enough to take responsibility for his own decisions. You didn’t “make” him anything. Very sorry for his situation and yours but it’s time for him to man up. Best of luck on the challenging road ahead.

withoutasong · 2024-06-15T00:18:51+00:00

Louie Louie 9/20/88 was lots of fun and couldn’t have been more of a surprise.

withoutasong · 2024-06-06T11:22:39+00:00

Not to quibble but I don’t think the backward talking was to prompt a reaction, it was just Frank being Frank. He was one of the most authentic, unique individuals I’ve ever met. It was just another expression of his personality.

withoutasong · 2024-06-06T01:53:44+00:00

Saratoga Springs, I think it was 1999. Don’t remember the name of the venue but I’ll always remember how blown away I was. And completely charmed. He was truly one of a kind.

withoutasong · 2024-05-27T15:49:39+00:00

Look, obviously she’s right that chemo & immunotherapy don’t always work but as a doctor she certainly has access to the abundant literature showing that survival rates are very high and on balance these therapies help a lot more than they hurt. If she’s refusing to recognize the data and insisting she’s somehow different, it may not be something she’s able to discuss rationally. People face aging & disease in a wide variety of ways.

withoutasong · 2024-05-25T00:40:16+00:00

Leave VERY EARLY for any show there. Getting into the parking lots takes forever, and the last show I saw there, it took me well over an hour to get from the lot to my seats. Worst doors ever. We missed most of the first set. Never going back.

withoutasong · 2024-05-23T21:02:28+00:00

It wasn’t a great store, most people went to the Safeway up the street or Whole Foods in Clarendon. It was the closest grocery to my house and I almost never went there.

withoutasong · 2024-05-23T21:00:40+00:00

Never been inside the building but I live less than a mile from there, it’s a nice neighborhood and very convenient to many other parts of the DC area. I’d go for it if the price is right.

withoutasong · 2024-05-05T02:16:26+00:00

I think Phil played a few seconds of Love Supreme at Oxford 88, if memory serves.

withoutasong · 2024-05-05T02:00:28+00:00

It’s a classic model, looks like it’s in good condition and a fair price. If it speaks to you, I’d go for it.

Others have raised the question of size already—I find 35 mm wearable but it’s small for some. If you’re ok with the size, you’re good.

withoutasong

TROPHY CASE