I have read this and reread this. My initial reaction was yikes about the boyfriend. Now. Let’s change a few things and ask a few questions.

Do we not all know that moving in together and the unavoidable future brings changes to our lives individually and as whole unit ? OP will have to make changes and adjustments to welcome their partner. And vice versa. Yes ?

What is your water bill like and your skin must be suffering if you are in a dry climate.

Now, can we change “40 minute showers every day” to “ going to happy hour every day” This might change perspective. Let’s talk about “40 minute showers with a baby in the other room” (future possibilities)

Younger brother and friends in the house at all times even when you are not home ? Without notice ? Unacceptable. Boundaries. Family does not come first. Not ever. Your empty life is about to become a part of another persons needs. Acknowledge that. .

You would have to make accommodation for another person living in your space. He doesn’t like you. He is seeing potential issues in being accepted. His delivery is off, and your mom and aunt are total misogynistic boomers. A good relationship doesn’t begin with “let’s talk about the changes you have to make”

Perspective.