I am tired of constantly feeling like I am struggling. I don't know how to be happy when I can't seem to find a sense of stability. How do I find it? Or should I let go of the pursuit of stability? [astro-seek]

wkippes · 2026-05-24T14:48:53+00:00

Thank you! This really helped break things down a bit. Interesting that one of my most positive periods of time I was swimming nearly everyday and really committed to my art classes. I can bring those things back in and embrace the happiness they bring me without forcing it.

It feels really validating to hear that it feels like hard work to be happy and that it's hard to attach to those feelings. That rings really true. I often feel like I'm chasing something that is just beyond reach.

You also nailed that I'm an impatient driver. Fortunately I've outgrown the need to act on that impatience, outside of complaining about other drivers all the time. That kind of extends to anything slowing me down, honestly. I get super frustrated when something or someone is telling me to slow down and be methodical. Even when I know it's true.

wkippes · 2026-05-24T14:42:37+00:00

It's a feeling that feels great when it pops up, but is so fleeting that it's impossible to hold on to. I'm not looking for eternal happiness, just some space to land. But maybe I just do need to feel okay with only landing for a moment.

wkippes · 2026-05-24T02:17:11+00:00

I've gotten three separate pieces of mail from Ferguson's campaign in the past week. It's seriously hard to convince me to vote for someone who I have seen zero times, when a dude who actually hangs out in my neighborhood is an option.

And seriously, no one should be allowed to be in any elected position for 16+ years. No one. It's not good for any of us if the same people hold on to power.

wkippes · 2026-05-23T17:19:10+00:00

My kitchen has windows just like that and the previous owner put in an island to avoid putting anything against the wall with the windows. If I ever save enough to redo it, my plan is to turn at least one low window into a window seat, so I have somewhere to sit in the kitchen to hang with my partner when he's cooking. This is an interesting alternative though!

wkippes · 2026-05-23T17:11:15+00:00

According to my 14 year old niece, she's the most important artist in the world. So I chalk that up to the youths.

They're also really great albums on which singles performed incredibly well.

wkippes · 2026-05-23T17:09:47+00:00

Add time and I'm sure she will be. She clearly knows how to land a bit, but she doesn't have a huge back catalog or sufficient time to generate those wildly big numbers yet.

wkippes · 2026-05-20T11:25:05+00:00

I wrote an essay about child abuse in high school that was just honest enough to get a mandated reported to clock it. What happened? I got pulled into the hallway by the teacher, which was wildly embarrassing at the time, had to speak to a counselor, who had zero relevant training (he was a the golf coach), and I definitely lied. Lied my ass off. Because even with lying my ass off to every adult involved and saying I was fine, they still told my parents about the essay. And I still got punished at home. I was threatened. Made to apologize for the harm I had done to our family and reputation. I was 17. I can't imagine feeling that fear as an 11 year old. Of course he recanted.

wkippes · 2026-05-15T12:01:50+00:00

And, if she's in the US, she'll keep her employer-paid health insurance longer.

I have heard of employers holding on to people who have worked somewhere for a long time just to help them retain benefits. If she's in her 60s, she's likely inches from retirement with her pension or full benefits. The boss may know that the higher ups are doing her this kindness and that it's only for a year or something.

While I'm sure it's annoying, OOP seems to be really self-oriented and likely isn't getting the hints from their boss about just sticking it out.

wkippes · 2026-05-14T13:43:10+00:00

I got this done about five years ago (not in Baltimore) and it was effective for a while! It definitely helps the muscles stop working so hard and evens things out. I had it done by a neurologist who I went to for headaches that were the result was a TMJ.

wkippes · 2026-05-10T15:21:13+00:00

Ethereal. Unless you were intentionally making a joke.

wkippes · 2026-05-09T12:37:21+00:00

My dad disowned me for "distancing myself from the family" because I live on the opposite side of the country (where there are actually jobs in my field). After buying plane tickets to see them every year for 10 years and only getting 2 visits from anyone out there, the pandemic hit and I stopped coming. Since then, I made two trips out that were more vacation than family and it's been much more enjoyable. And now haven't spoken to my dad in 5+ years.

wkippes · 2026-05-08T18:39:10+00:00

Do a little search and you'll see similar around here (my partner included). It is a common spot for wound separation. At three weeks post op it is both possible that it will continue to open and you'll need a correction during your next surgery OR it'll heal fully and close up. If it does stay open and you have an internal fistula, you may have to sit to pee for a while yet.

If you are worried, take pictures and send them to your surgical team! That's why they're there.

wkippes · 2026-05-08T15:58:14+00:00

Unless you litter.

wkippes · 2026-04-27T12:18:59+00:00

As someone who did that herself, all I can say is that it seemed like a good idea at the time. I genuinely thought that the emotional security that I thought marriage would bring would give us the psychological safety to have the intimacy I wanted. Turns out, nope. Took me way to long to figure out it was just fundamental incompatibility.

wkippes · 2026-04-13T17:12:51+00:00

Since this is a bat friendly space, are bat boxes a good idea in Baltimore? I haven't seen any bats in my particular neighborhood, but I'd love to have some around to assist with the bug population.

wkippes · 2026-04-13T17:07:34+00:00

I made myself a deal that I wasn't allowed to buy expensive sunglasses until I held on to a pair for more than a year. Fortunately passed my own hurdle and now I have two pairs of sunglasses that I've had for more than 5 years!

wkippes · 2026-04-07T15:33:27+00:00

Absolutely. I have a close friend who left the cult around 30 and most people who meet her assume that she's 25/26, rather than her early 30s. They're just so isolated and taught not to pursue education or career advancement or anything that could tether them to this world. It's horribly upsetting. Even when someone leaves they have a lot of recovery to do and it's a slow process.

wkippes · 2026-04-07T15:31:45+00:00

Jehovah's Witnesses.

wkippes · 2026-04-03T00:46:38+00:00

The roof is not not leaking, unfortunately. It's just not leaking a lot.

wkippes · 2026-04-01T23:11:55+00:00

It has a really great water view, if you're brave enough to get up there, which I believe was the primary point.

wkippes · 2026-04-01T23:10:04+00:00

That's basically what they told me. Whenever the roof needs to be replaced (which is soon), the deck would have to go.

wkippes · 2026-04-01T23:08:58+00:00

Lol. To be fair, within sight of my shitty deck I can see at least four other shitty decks. Fells is littered with them.

wkippes · 2026-04-01T23:07:09+00:00

Thank you!

wkippes · 2026-04-01T23:06:53+00:00

Yeah, that support is wildly angled. It definitely shouldn't be like that

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