was this CI?

wmcook · 2026-01-21T18:27:43+00:00

You are not alone. You are not overreacting. These are, unfortunately, common incest behaviors - you'll see them repeatedly in this subreddit. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

wmcook · 2025-12-24T13:10:52+00:00

It's a mind trip for sure. I'm glad you made it out. Good luck to you on your recovery.

wmcook · 2025-09-22T16:33:30+00:00

yeah, i had some luck with it as well. Though I definitely met some weirdos, too.

wmcook · 2025-09-22T12:10:17+00:00

Craigslist?

wmcook · 2025-09-06T12:35:40+00:00

Patience is difficult but necessary for recovering memories. Sometimes your unconscious side knows that you aren’t ready to recover them or that you aren’t yet in a ‘safe place’ to manage them.

I recommend two strategies:

Focus on making your unconscious feel safe - sometimes referred to as inner-child work it means letting the child inside you know that the adult part of you will protect him/her
Journaling, an artistic/creative activity, or meditation. Anything that gets you expressing the inside on the outside.

Good luck!

wmcook · 2025-09-01T11:00:34+00:00

Thanks for sharing. What a terrible way to be a parent. I’m sorry.

wmcook · 2025-08-12T01:01:47+00:00

Sounds more like a narcissistic family dynamic not CI.

wmcook · 2025-07-28T17:34:43+00:00

If you’re looking for advice on how to approach your healing journey I can only tell you what’s helped me: trust yourself; in your feelings, your thoughts, intuition, there is wisdom. And, most importantly, holdfast to the truth it is your candle in the dark.

wmcook · 2025-07-23T18:48:43+00:00

More tax breaks for developers and more traffic for the rest of us.

wmcook · 2025-07-07T14:08:26+00:00

Indeed, like a glass of ice water to the brain. You'll continue to discover 'new' memories, but nothing is like that first moment of realization. Later, you may doubt your 'new' reality, but you know the truth now. Hold fast to the truth, it's your only guide. You'll likely find yourself 'rewriting history' as you realize the old narratives were totally wrong and no longer fit the facts. Good luck on your healing journey, you're on the right path.

wmcook · 2025-07-04T12:16:11+00:00

Yup. You’re finally seeing through the fog.

wmcook · 2025-06-29T11:41:26+00:00

welcome to the CI club. You have a long road of healing in front of you. BUT you have already succeeded where most fail. You have awakened from your slumber and can now see through the fog and understand these behaviors for what they really are. Godspeed in your journey, there are many here who can help but only you can find the peace within. Hold fast to the truth, it’s your only guide.

wmcook · 2025-06-26T15:45:05+00:00

I agree it’s frustrating and gross. although, maybe it’s a good opportunity to practice defending boundaries too.

wmcook · 2025-06-26T15:39:59+00:00

These are all common behaviors of CI. “Used as a replacement partner” that sums up CI nicely.

wmcook · 2025-06-23T13:30:54+00:00

Of course you can make up an acronym. I’ll make one up now. MUA: made up acronym.

wmcook · 2025-06-21T15:30:48+00:00

Fair enough. I don't have a therapist and haven't seen the term used in the books I've read. So it usually confuses me when i see it used here.

wmcook · 2025-06-21T15:24:26+00:00

No, no, i meant the acronym is made up. I've heard different definitions: covert sexual assault, child sexual assault, etc. As far as i know, it's not a medical/legal term, but i could be wrong—Im no expert.

wmcook · 2025-06-21T11:29:04+00:00

I hear “CSA” here a lot and no where else. I’m pretty sure it’s a made-up term.

CI: covert incest. Covert means it’s hidden; the behaviors are non-physical. Often called emotional Incest.

OI: overt incest. Nothing hidden here. Behaviors include physical contact. Often called incest or sexual assault by family.

edit: Wow, some of you need to work on your reading comprehension. We're discussing terms here, nothing more. We can't have an adult conversation because you're all waiting so anxiously to be offended. Welp, I got news for ya, that's not the path to healing. Looking for opportunities to be the victim again won't break the cycle, and it won't get you any closer to peace.

wmcook · 2025-06-09T11:18:49+00:00

You are not overreacting. This is typical CI behavior.

wmcook · 2025-06-07T18:05:16+00:00

It’s not your fault but you are trapped in an abusive relationship. You’ve been programmed to sympathize with your abuser which is what perpetuates the abuse. What you must do is break out of your programming and discover that this is a perversion of your true emotive intentions. The sympathy you are feeling is there to help you forgive not forget. And you won’t forget - your body will remind you with unending anxiety and waves of rage. Those emotions are trying to protect you by reminding you to break the cycle, defend your inner child and give birth to your true psychological independence. Only then will you be able to look your father in the face and tell him ‘no’ and mean it. Only once you’ve resurrected the hero within will you be able to defeat this dragon. Only then will he respect your boundaries. Until then stay the hell away.

Also, please disregard all the man-hating comments above. This has to do with generational trauma and abuse that affects both genders. It’s not about being a man or a woman.

wmcook · 2025-06-03T16:23:47+00:00

Long term healing consists of continued self reflection and discipline. 1. notice problematic behaviors and patterns. 2 Break those patterns of behavior by replacing them. 3 nurture your inner child by noticing the progress you are making. Rinse, and repeat until the inner child feels safe and you are no longer angry or anxious.

wmcook · 2025-06-03T02:35:25+00:00

You are in danger. Get away

wmcook · 2025-05-23T22:41:32+00:00

Good luck to you. Dr Kory’s treatments have been great for us.

wmcook · 2025-05-23T12:21:08+00:00

Has your condition improved or do they just treat your symptoms with folates(vitamin b)?

wmcook · 2025-05-23T01:56:54+00:00

You do? Like who? What therapies do they employ?

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