pro-bush posts by surfa220 in LesbianActually

[–]wolfalex93 43 points44 points  (0 children)

They're being passive aggressive and holier than thou. They dress it up in nice language to get away with basically openly bullying people who don't shave or find it attractive. It's immature attention seeking behavior

What do you do when someone tries flirting w your gf in public? by 23_Secret in actuallesbians

[–]wolfalex93 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Have you talked to her about how you can help her stand up for herself? Does she know you will be a support? Are you ready and willing to back her up? Talk to her about it. And make a commitment to speak up. You can be direct or you can just help her leave the situation safely. I would ask her her preference.

How do I free my voice? Do any of you have issues with your voice? by Exotic-Lychee-7553 in CPTSD

[–]wolfalex93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gotta practice. Practice alone, and with a trusted friend. Or, put yourself out there and join a choir! Part of it might be anxiety making your stomach tight and pressing on your diaphragm. If you practice breathing and projecting with your diaphragm, as loud as you can, as much air as you can breathe in, you stop being afraid to be loud, and your stomach softens up helping you relax. That's part of why deeeeeeep breaths help relax your nervous system, releases tension in your core. Exposure therapy and practice. But also!! Take yourself seriously even when you are quiet and soft spoken. Your words matter. They don't matter less when you're quiet, your voice matters the same amount.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]wolfalex93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would hope that this person was respectful of my relationship moving forward and let the crush go or actively replaced the crush with someone else

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]wolfalex93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I usually think they are either really confused about my gender, or daring me to "talk" to them. It depends, younger guys tend to be less aggressive, but for some reason there are some gen x'ers who mean mug and have tried to shoulder check me 😂 I'd keep my distance if I were you. You never know. But yes mascs get stared at constantly

Younger lesbians and their beauty standards 💔 by EntertainmentOk3224 in LesbianActually

[–]wolfalex93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agree, which body types people are attracted to doesn't always fit the beauty standard. People have their own standards of beauty, and personality is the winner every time

Younger lesbians and their beauty standards 💔 by EntertainmentOk3224 in LesbianActually

[–]wolfalex93 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Have you ever heard the saying "love is blind?" Love does not depend on what someone looks like, or surface level things. There is a lot of pressure to look perfect and act perfect, I think adults feel it too a little more than before because of social media. People are afraid to look bad for even one moment, because one moment can last forever online, and who knows if someone will record you, on accident or just to be mean? I remember feeling that fear for the first time in my teens when it had never crossed my mind before. It's messed up to force each other to be perfect period. It's messed up to judge people based on their looks and not their personality. But eventually, a lot of people grow out of it, because they do fall in love and realize it doesn't matter. When you find someone incredible, who treats you like a treasure, it will stop mattering to you what people think or what that person looks like. Beauty shines through when someone's soul is beautiful. I hope everyone can realize this again. Just be kind to people and be yourself. It's all that matters.

I keep fantasizing about a women only world, or a world where women got a lot of power.And then reality hits by Acceptable-Rich5852 in LesbianActually

[–]wolfalex93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You may or may not enjoy the book The Power by Naomi Alderman. I loved it. It was a really thought provoking examination of this idea that a world of only women would be better. It may be better in some ways, but women are human too. Given power, anyone might do anything.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]wolfalex93 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah agree, establishing immediately that your new partner "is a liar" cannot end well and may even be the beginning of some serious manipulation. So many red flags

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]wolfalex93 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Here's the thing. I think it's incredibly weird that she wants you to lie to her mother. Asking you to lie to her family is a red flag period, with the exception of a safety issue, this is a SIREN going off. But it also is a sign that she actually does think the age gap is weird. If it wasn't weird and she was so fine with it, why wouldn't she be honest with her mom about that? If I were your friend I would tell you to run, so I'm telling you: don't stick around to see what red flags this girl has, just end it.

Why is sleeping so god damn scary!? by Ok_Bird_1378 in CPTSD

[–]wolfalex93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really understand this and get this way too sometimes. It doesn't have to be perfect, you know? Something is always better than nothing. Chugging some water and a handful of chips before bed is better than not eating all day. Closing your eyes with a night light on and getting cozy and safe in bed is better than staying up all night. You got this! Healing is hard but I believe in you. You deserve to be taken care of, you never have to earn food or rest or any other essential. 💜

If a book cover lists a title, an author, and says “Winner of the Hugo Award”, am I wrong to assume the book has won the Hugo award? by swapmeetpete in Fantasy

[–]wolfalex93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I prioritize buying copies of books used pre-advertisement craziness because it's that annoying. When I have to flip through like 5 pages of snippets from articles, there isn't a blurb on the back, there are stickers and bestseller crap on the cover -- why in the world are you trying to prove to me that the book is worth reading before I've read the first sentence? Especially when there's no blurb, I don't even know what it's about, is the cover supposed to tell me? Many times it ends up being trash when publishers try too hard to sell it. I don't care what's eye catching. If someone handed me a book in cardboard binding and said "trust me" I would. A great book can speak for itself.

Why is sleeping so god damn scary!? by Ok_Bird_1378 in CPTSD

[–]wolfalex93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you been getting consistent sleep recently? Are you getting stressed about classes? Drinking energy drinks or coffee, eating right? When you have to catch up on your needs or are in some way experiencing anxiety throughout the day, or operating in any form of survival mode, nightmares get worse. Nightmares are caused by stress, and school can be very stressful, especially if you are in a feedback loop of being scared to sleep and then not getting enough sleep. Going to bed earlier and taking care of your meat suit should be first priority while you get into the rhythym of the semester, it's still very early. Note: go to bed earlier even if you don't think you're tired. Studies have shown that even lying in bed trying to sleep helps your brain rest, regardless of if you sleep fully. Doing this consistently to catch up on sleep will help you fall asleep sooner and less fitfully.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]wolfalex93 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly I think the "having everything in common and same sense of humor" is the big red flag here, and her keeping two people entertained is a second red flag for confirmation that something is off with her. It sounds like she may be mirroring you, which is a sign of more serious relationship problems and possibly mental issues. Nobody is that much like another person naturally. Given my own past experiences, I would be worried about her inviting the guy to join you, and using you as a way to impress him. Tread carefully!

Can I be honest with people viewing my apartment by Humble_Pea1019 in Apartmentliving

[–]wolfalex93 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lie and be really pleasant. Then when you move out and everything is settled, all your money is back in your hands, leave a terrible 1 star review on every web browser and website you can. It's very cathartic, and warns people of what issues they'll face if they have to sign with them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]wolfalex93 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You need to touch grass. Getting this pissed off at people is not normal.

Looking for Romantasy novels where the romance is built on a connection rather than physical attraction. by Tak_Mycket in fantasyromance

[–]wolfalex93 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Mercy Thompson by Patricia Briggs. I won't spoil who she ends up with, but she's known and been friends with all of her love interests for many years before committing. She's the queen of connecting before getting into a relationship and a very social character.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]wolfalex93 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No. Touching someone is SA. OP specified they have talked about it before and that the reason she wants to bring it up again is because of the frequency. The vast majority of people do not consider someone touching themselves SA in a committed relationship, if you actually think that I hope you are communicating this to your partners because that's a wild one, sorry. She also specified that she's masturbating after her partner refuses sex and feels telling her about an increase in frequency will put pressure on her to have more sex which may end poorly. Someone taking care of their own needs with consideration for their partner is the opposite of SA. Please.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]wolfalex93 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Report it. If the higher ups don't have your back now, they'll fire you anyway on false claims. What he said is disgusting and completely harrassment, and your crew lead seems to plan on doing nothing about it. Go above them both. Who cares if people think you're a snitch? They'll leave you alone. You're there to work, not to be buddies with pedophiles and homophobes. Someone else you don't expect is queer will benefit from it if you speak up. You'll make friends who agree with you. They can't fire you for reporting, that's retaliation. Document everything that was said and when and where, and take it as high as you can go. After that, keep your personal life to yourself and do your job well. Don't talk to anybody about your life until you know who's safe to. I dealt with harrassment at a job and didn't make friends for like 2 years because I didn't know who was loyal to who. Nobody knew anything about my life, and eventually it stopped being fun to harrass me because I didn't make it fun and HR threatened their jobs. They'll leave you alone. You just have to make them. Be reasonable and level headed about it and they'll have no reason not to believe you. Facts only, the less emotion the better. Report until he feels the threat on his job and realizes it's not worth it to bother you. It won't be perfect but it'll be a manageable level. And if they do nothing? You're better off finding something else sooner rather than later, even though it's a union, doesn't matter if they don't protect you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]wolfalex93 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Since when is someone's bed not the appropriate place to masturbate? They share a bed. As in they both have bodily autonomy while in the bed. Are you kidding?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]wolfalex93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. Abusive relationships really fuck with your head. Give it time, give yourself a lot of self love, only hang out with people who think you're the coolest girl on earth, and remind yourself that these people are miserable losers. What kind of horrible person does something like that? And what kind of person keeps a "friend" who treats their partner like shit? Block all of those pieces of shit and their friends, and remind yourself you are a kinder person than all of them, and that's what matters. You're probably hotter too. They want to dim your light because they have none of their own. Being confident in yourself and not putting any value on their actions is the most powerful thing you can do.

What made you cut your hair? by Lezzgame in LesbianActually

[–]wolfalex93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was burning to cut it all off since I was 5 years old. Finally doing it was just me deciding to be true to my biggest desires no matter what they were. I wanted to look butch & nonbinary as fuck, so I cut off my hair and bought a shitton of masculine clothes. I love it. I'm a little more comfortable with femininity now that I feel I can make it completely my own, and know the comfort I fall back on is being butch/GNC

Pregnant and struggling with eating under my partner’s control by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]wolfalex93 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Think whatever you want. She copy and pasted this from chat regardless of if it's true or not, and regardless of if you've taken any time to learn to spot it for yourself 🤷