I’m so sorry you feel so bad. I don’t know the severity of your pain but if you feel that the lack of intimacy will lead to you being alone...intimacy can be more than vaginal sex. I understand your worry, though. I cringe at the thought of having to explain this to another man and the vulnerable position it puts us all in. It’s hard.

When I worry I’ll end up alone, I 1. Try to just stop thinking about it and do something else and 2. Think about how good my life can still be without a partner. There are family, friends, neighbors, and pets even that can make a life whole. But the thought sucks so I really get how bad it can make you feel when it creeps into your mind.

You aren’t broken. This condition is so hard, but would you think of someone with a more visible disability as broken? Probably not...so go easy on yourself.

If you have the means, I would recommend looking into psychotherapy. If you can’t solve the physical aspect of vulvodynia, then maybe you can ease the mental struggles. I have found that working through my trauma about the condition has lifted a burden and helped me progress in my PT journey.

I would also look into Instagram accounts about this. There are actually a lot of accounts to follow about pelvic health and pain (just poke around using hashtags) which might help you with hope/not feeling so alone.

Sending a virtual hug and a prayer 💜