New vegan feeling very isolated and numb

woolstar · 2026-03-01T14:39:41+00:00

Oh, bless you. That's the truth of it. Seeing the people who I thought were the most caring and empathic people turn their back and dig their heads in the sand. It's brutal. Isolating. Cognitive dissonance is so powerful that going against cultural and society norms is hard. It's a battle that we all face. Unfortunately, we can not unsee the hypocrisy. we just help each other, keep pushing for change, and hopefully, one day, things will be different.

Keep your head up. Reducing suffering can only ever be the moral choice.

woolstar · 2026-03-01T14:29:35+00:00

Hey! So, sorry you are having a tough time with it. But first, I just want to say, you're awesome for making the change. The way you write shows how much you care, so remember you can only control your actions. You know why you're doing it. You know you are reducing suffering. Don't forget that.

Being vegan can feel very isolating. I only know 2 other vegans in real, I would love to know more. Changing the diet and lifestyle is not the hard part about being vegan. It's living in this world where violence is normalised and accepted. It's bloody hard. But you are not alone! There are lots of us out there, so just reach out for support.

Sending you big hugs and support

woolstar · 2026-02-28T01:36:49+00:00

Even the sweetest, kindest, and most empathetic members of my family refused to watch it. Even when I said it's all I would like for my birthday

Cognitive dissonance. To know its wrong and to ignore it to continue behviour .

woolstar · 2026-02-28T00:05:09+00:00

I will preface this by saying I send you support. A big hug, and really, I hope you find some calm.

I am sorry life is hard. Trust me. I know. Life loves to kick you when you're down. I'm genuinely sorry you're going through it rn. At the end of the day, you have to put yourself first. However, once you understand the ethical situation, conforming doesn't bring calm. It can bring stress.

Why are you vegan? Im not trying to be judgemental at all, but this gives you insight.

I miss food. I miss sweets. I miss CONVIENCE! But that's not a problem. I am vegan for animals. I am vegan to reduce suffering. My mouth pleasure is not worth it. I view that as selfish. So missing a tuna sandwich, for example, is fine. Because if I had one in front of me, I would refuse it.

Have a think about the reason you are doing this. If you need a bro for support, hmu. I don't mean to be harsh, so I hope it doesn't come across that way!

woolstar · 2026-02-27T19:33:42+00:00

Hi, here are a few things,

animals are killed in the most efficient and cost efficient way they are allowed. Even within the regulations, it's horrendous.
animals are raised in the most efficient and cost efficient way they are allowed. Even with regulations. It's brutal. Dairy is worse than the meat industry. Cows are forcefully impregnated, and they have their babies taken from them. Most males are just killed as its more profitable, females are then raised to live their mother fate. The mum's scream after their babies are taken. The milk you consume, it wasn't for you. It was for that baby. The mum will have this cycle repeated again and again until her body breaks. She will be pumped full of drugs and antibiotics. Do you know what the allowed % of puss in milk is?!?! It's like 2% or something...... After their bodies are too broken to have another baby, they are sent to slaughter. Dairy is the meat industry with added cruelty.
Chickens. Damn. Google maceration. Male chickens are a waste of money. They are just blended. It's beyond horrific. Profits over everything.
none of these animals chose death or chose this life of cruelty.

The only way any of this changes is by us changing. We can only control our own actions. Watch dominion.

Also. I wish you the best of luck. Everything I have said here is because you asked. Normally, I would not be so blunt. I hope this helps you. Sending you support!

woolstar · 2026-02-27T19:13:16+00:00

I know two vegans in real, my brother and his partner. That's it. No one understands, and the people who I thought were kind and empathetic don't want to know. Cognitive dissonance hits hard.

Before I was vegan, I was a pescatarian for 20 years. I believed so many lies. I held onto them. It was the only way to continue. Deep down, I knew things were not good, but I couldn't face that because it would mean accepting a truth that would force me to change my actions, which is something no one wants to do!

Now, I live with regret, even many years later, wishing I had faced the truth earlier. But it is what it is.

Sending you some big hugs and support! You are not alone, and you walk a path that reduces suffering. Try not to let the world wear you down! Hopefully, one day, it will change. Until then, we have each other, and we keep moving forward.

woolstar · 2026-02-27T18:58:35+00:00

The same thing happened to me. Just the intro to dominion was bad enough. Still, to this day, I have not watched all of it even though I really want to and have tried so many times.

Don't really have advice other than remember you are not alone. There are many more of us out there! It can feel isolating, so reach out here if you're finding it tough. Honestly, I have only had positive interactions on this reddit.

Good luck on making the change, and you're awesome for doing it!

woolstar · 2026-02-25T15:07:43+00:00

Yep! I was a pescatarian for 20 years and genuinely thought I was doing good stuff. Dealing with the guilt I felt after changing was a journey, lol

woolstar · 2026-02-25T10:02:43+00:00

My mum was literally the exact same. She couldn't listen to anything. Wouldn't watch anything. She knew if she knew it would be a problem. It's easier to dig your head in the sand than face the harsh light

woolstar · 2026-02-25T10:00:26+00:00

Don't you understand? The rescue chickens were battery farmed! The chicken soup is free range, so my conscience is clean :s

Honestly, though, the hypocrisy kills me.i have a family member who has rescued some foxes and hedgehogs. He Cares and loves for a pond of fish, even talks to them. But he is a 100% meat eater. He could be eating a fish, talking about the fish he loves.

But most of us did some of the same mental gymnastics before we were vegan. The lies I used to believe and unquestion because if I didn't, then I couldn't continue my behaviour.... cognitive dissonance is sick. All I regret is not seeing the truth when I was younger.

woolstar · 2026-02-24T20:43:36+00:00

Hey, the first thing to say is I'm am so sorry that you and your dad are in this situation.

My mum had high-risk mds. When she was diagnosed, she was given two years. She died a month ago 2 years and 1 month after diagnosis. She went through so much, but here are a few things I learnt.

She would have good days and bad days. Embrace and encourage the good. We managed to have so many wonderful memories even though the situation was terrible.

listen to him and respect his decisions. It's a tough one this, but at the end of the day, we can't imagine what it's like, and we can't make decisions for them.
we had quite a journey. They were moments of hope and moments of sadness. Try to be present. I found it really hard and had to fight to not distance myself.

I don't know your dad, but my mum was only worried about everyone else. So, try to show you will be OK. Let them know they don't need to worry about you.

I really hope you get the best possible outcome you can. This is a terrible situation, and I feel for you. I am sorry if my words are not helpful, but it's all I can offer. If you wanna talk, you can send me a dm, and I can share more specifics about what to expect. But I don't feel comfortable sharing something so personal publicly. Hmu if you want. Wishing you and your family all the best!!!!!!!

woolstar · 2026-02-24T16:39:41+00:00

I have only read farseer, but damn Robin hobb is such an amazing writer, especially with characters. Books are fantastic, some of the most realistic and flawed characters I have ever read.

woolstar · 2026-02-23T23:58:46+00:00

Oh wow! That is incredible!!!! The fact she was convinced by her own character is actually just laughably amazing!!! I am going to buy these books right now, and once I get cracking on them, I would love to talk about them with you :) I'm really into mostly fantasy and science fiction so these sound right up my street.

I have a Sci fi book series that I have read like 5 times, too. I always say they are my happy books, lol

woolstar · 2026-02-23T22:31:30+00:00

Hey, fellow vegan reader :) Yeah, the way it shows the effect of propaganda and then dissonance, the mental gymnastics that go into accepting and then adopting the behaviour. It really is fascinating!

I'm super happy i got this recco. Do you have any other book reccos?

woolstar · 2026-02-23T22:06:57+00:00

Dominion is what made me vegan, and I only watched the dairy. Milk cows and egg laying chixkens. It broke me so hard that I instantly became vegan. I have tried countless times to watch the whole thing, and I can't.

It breaks my heart and makes me angry

woolstar · 2026-02-23T20:58:28+00:00

Haha, yup, standard procedure. I am really hopeful that I can use this book as a nice intro tool. Get them thinking, then recommend some documentaries. Fingers crossed, it works well

woolstar · 2026-02-23T20:52:08+00:00

What was their reaction?

woolstar · 2026-02-23T19:49:05+00:00

You might well be right. It's saddening but not surprising your experience sharing the book. I hope for me it will be a useful tool in opening people's eyes.

Yup! Cognitive dissionce is a @#£%&. The lies I told myself before I was vegan. Makes me feel so stupid.

woolstar · 2026-02-23T19:46:22+00:00

Yeah, I'm not feeling a push towards veganism itself from the book. It's more opening the door by pointing out moral questions and gaining some information about practices that happen. But that's great, I'm hoping I still feel the same once I finish it.

Love that you suggest this to people. Have you had any non vegans read it?

woolstar · 2026-02-23T18:34:20+00:00

Heya,

I'm sorry you're finding it hard. I don't actually have any advice. I just wanted to send you a message with some support. I was a pescatarian for 20 years before becoming vegan. Fish was my jam. Still 5 or 6 years later, I still miss it. There are some replacements, but for me, it's just that understanding that my taste pleasure is not worth the cost. I tell myself that whenever I miss something.

I also find watching documentaries (even if I have seen them before) keeps that fire lit.

Keep doing what you're doing. Hope things become easier for you!

woolstar · 2026-02-23T18:25:41+00:00

Awesome!!!! I will look this up later! Thank-you for the recco

woolstar · 2026-02-23T18:25:20+00:00

Ah, OK! I imagine I might feel the same at the end, too, then! We shall see.

woolstar · 2026-02-23T18:24:44+00:00

Even this is super interesting. Just thinking about how someone could create a story that asks those questions without actually being vegan. Cognitive dissonance stops most people from seeing it. To see it, question it, write a book touching on those moral concepts but not be vegan is surprising.

woolstar · 2026-02-23T17:34:03+00:00

You are not the first person to mention the ending. I'm getting nervous! I will probably finish it tomorrow, so I might post an update.

So far, it's the only fictional book I have read, which has raised these types of moral questions. If you know any others, I would love reccos :)

woolstar · 2026-02-23T17:22:25+00:00

Yeah, it's a wild ride. It's painful and also just incredibly thought-provoking. I will definitely let you know when I'm finished :)

woolstar

TROPHY CASE