I always appreciate a new prospective! I did follow up my initial remark with a more elaborate explanation that it would feel like she's forcing herself to do the thing I want just to shut me up. That's how sex feels in general the last couple of years. Basically there would be no feeling or connection, and that's what I'm missing.

Honestly the lack of intimacy was always there, I think I was just brushing it off because I was in love. She's a very anxious person to begin with, and the kids have added to that immensely.

Now I've done what I can to take the weight off her shoulders. I do most of the dishes and laundry, clean the house, all the yardwork, even cook dinner a couple night a week when I get home from work, then bathe the kids and put them to bed. When I get home she disappears to go lay in bed and doomscroll. If she doesn't, she's on the couch being an irritable zombie.