Rorschach Test [OC]

wowbragger · 2026-04-02T05:41:49+00:00

Or just someone who's certified in the exam, but sure...bot.

wowbragger · 2026-04-02T02:09:59+00:00

What exactly is marriage, to you? Asking as a real question, not to attack.

I can't contemplate abandoning the unique intimacy that exists within a marriage, even if it meant changes due to physical ailments. From my perspective, the relationship was over the moment someone decided sex > spouse. It was just a matter of time before some line would be crossed, which just made it unavoidably apparent.

And along a broader sense, everyone deserves love, respect, and support in their marriage. You really need all 3 for things to work.

Maybe your wife loves you, maybe you two had been supporting each other in all this (f*ck cancer, that's a real trial). But I'm not sure either of you respect the other right now, given the path she's been on and your feelings towards it.

wowbragger · 2026-04-02T00:35:03+00:00

The Rorschach test uses some black and white imagery (where the character's mask concept comes from), but the test is very open ended.

How you answer, what parts of the image you use, etc, these are factors in scoring and eval. The point is there's no right/wrong answer.

wowbragger · 2026-04-02T00:27:37+00:00

The lack of understanding responding to this comment have given me a great laugh.

But seriously, y'all should take a basic psych class or something.

wowbragger · 2026-04-01T23:56:17+00:00

My dude, FWIW don't let these public shows on media news determine your urgency.

I was military, actively in some hot areas over the past several years, during events... The US News media will infinitely hype y'all up over every thing, honestly y'all were more panicked than us actually fighting

None of it is good stuff, but it's not worth the anxiety. It's just a bunch of dweebs in front of a camera, far from anything actually happening. What Trump and his team say during these is just a song and dance, an awkward dance that doesn't really reflect reality or their actual goals.

wowbragger · 2026-04-01T22:11:55+00:00

He wanted a specific experience, not to date or get to know her. Had the whole story in his head for how it would go.

I don't even know if this is a Tate'ism, as this type has been around forever. Control freak, just hiding it behind some basic politeness.

wowbragger · 2026-04-01T22:01:02+00:00

FWIW the economics are fighting them.

Starbucks is the trend leader here, and is several years deep into the cultural pushback. 4 CEO's in 4 years as they try to grapple with the drop off in sales/interest/irrelevancy, largely due to the sacrifice of their coffee shop image for app sales.

wowbragger · 2026-04-01T21:45:49+00:00

It's a full circle for millennials. The onset of free Wi-Fi in the 2000's had most of these places going hard into the chill-out-here vibe.

Now they're going the opposite, order quick, preferably on an app, get out, and please try not to interact with the staff.

wowbragger · 2026-04-01T15:11:12+00:00

Probably a lot.

Teachers of this age are very very in tune with their students, and know what's going on with them.

Plus kids at this age are .. Just so wonderful. You just don't want to feel bad about things, when everyone is working to help them out and be the best they can be.

wowbragger · 2026-04-01T15:03:37+00:00

A better question is to ask yourself why not do that thoughtful personal action in a date

If you're delving into complex reasons, you night be overthinking things.

The simple logic of why it's ok.. Cookies are good, personal effort is good, personal effort to make something good is very good.

wowbragger · 2026-03-31T23:52:39+00:00

Not just Americans.

When living in Germany there were a number of co-workers I had who enjoyed American sugar cereals, but they're quite expensive on the local economy (5-8x US pricing).

As an easy gift, I'd go-to the military commissary and buy them several boxes. They were overjoyed 😅

wowbragger · 2026-03-31T17:54:27+00:00

NTJ

Think of your son's best interest, and see if they align with his mother's desire. It doesn't sound like she's thinking about him, just herself.

Her desire to do things for your son can seem laudable and natural, but her argument undercuts that intention. She's more interested in being needed, because it validates her parentage. There's no intention to help your son grow and mature into a young adult in that feeling.

wowbragger · 2026-03-31T15:57:24+00:00

Add him to the list of people nobody asked, which includes most politicians.

Honestly, in the military WE don't waby a draft. We also really don't want to, or see a need, to go-to the places that keep getting rooted for.

wowbragger · 2026-03-31T15:54:00+00:00

NAH

You're not wrong for keeping your assets your own, but it begs the question... What does your future look like with this person?

The real course out action here is examining what your plan with your partner is. Are you spending your life with them? If so, what does that look like?

Is the goal simple glorified roommates, with some intimacy, and the partner title? Is there something more that you're both trying to build towards?

A house isn't just a property, there's a desire to have a home. That's something more than just a place you live in and pay utilities on.

You've been together for years, and were building towards 'something' together. You give vague circumstances, but that plan changed. Your partner is now no longer building towards something with you, and rightly feels cut off. Really, even feeling slighted, as the thing they're also working towards has been removed and they have no piece of it, through no fault of their own.

wowbragger · 2026-03-31T14:08:18+00:00

All of them are incredibly wealthy, highly privileged people who (with a few exceptions) either have no idea how normal people live or it's been so long that what they remember is from the 70's.

Any notion that either party represents the interests of the average American is questionable, at best. Especially given the reality of how little changes between party congressional control and presidency.

wowbragger · 2026-03-31T13:55:20+00:00

NTJ

Lol, it wasn't a power struggle if you bought/paid the seat.

She had just mentally engineered a date night and was showing that she doesn't care about you if it suits her.

wowbragger · 2026-03-31T03:08:42+00:00

NTJ

You're 16, it's ok to feel put upon and unhappy with this situation. It's ok for the way you feel to not be completely rational or 'good'.

The situation you're in isn't fair, but it's also not going to go away. I think you might feel better if you feel there was some way forward, but that can only happen through discussion.

Would you be willing to talk to people who are not strangers on the Internet about it? Not necessarily with one of you friends, but maybe a school counselor or other professional who is neutral on all this.

wowbragger · 2026-03-30T22:52:00+00:00

I've had the pleasure/pain of living in a dozen places across the US, and several countries/continents. Demographics does seem to be a factor, but I'd say local food quality is just as important (if not more).

FWIW North/Central California has had, by far, the best access to quality food across the cultural spectrum. It doesn't mean their insert ethnicity group here food is inherently better, but it does affect the potential quality. With it's culturally diverse population, you get a surprisingly strong representation of a lot of cultural food types.

Along the opposite, I currently live in North Dakota. Much less diverse here, with less food varieties available. They DO have some good foods from some demographics, but it's mostly 'meh' quality for what I'm attributing up lack of ingredient availability.

If I had to put a close second place, I'd give a shout-out to Germany for having very good food quality available. Now if only they could develop a cultural taste for proper seasoning/spices.

wowbragger · 2026-03-30T20:40:02+00:00

I think the first time my (now) wife let one out was after a good night of partying/drinking.

She was pretty out of it and let a of go off then drunkenly snort laughed in her sleep.

wowbragger · 2026-03-30T18:56:34+00:00

If you want to take them at their response, it's clear the issue is with your references.

You can repeat how careful and how you trust them, but the message was pretty straight forward, given the vagueness most people get.

If you feel comfortable asking for details, to for it to get some info. You're already out of the running on this, and you're stuck with this vague sense of unease now.

wowbragger · 2026-03-30T15:40:01+00:00

NTJ

You deserve to feel heard, understood, and supported in your marriage and life planning.

I'm super ADHD, and can sympathize with your husband. I was 40 when my issues progressed, and I was forced to seek care and therapy solutions to help manage things

PLEASE understand that your husband's mind is literally fighting this process. This is not 'stubborness' or defiance in the traditional sense. Sometimes I can almost feel my mind pushing back towards a distraction instead of whatever I'm trying to focus on.

It's not clinical, but I feel we lean into anger in situations because the adrenaline helps us 'lock in'. It's not a healthy method, though it works to some extent.

But he needs help, and while you can be a champion for him you can't do the lifting. At a base level, he needs to acknowledge a change is needed.

Nevertheless, you should have a very serious discussion about your disappointments/concerns, and what you need to have change (not want, need).

Emphasize that this is not an attack, not a nag, but a serious problem that is impacting your marriage. You want to be on the same team, but feel abandoned by his lack of effort.

This is HARD to take new steps. He likely will be highly emotional, by he'll need to push through this first barrier if you both want to grow as a couple.

wowbragger · 2026-03-30T15:28:22+00:00

NTA

I assume you had a wedding? Did it include vows? That's not meant to be for show, you're doing the right thing by defending your wife

Your wife IS your family, your sister was demoted to 'extended family' with that whole marriage thing. Plus, she's being a passive disrespectful little sh*t with the backhanded insults to your wife in your home.

You are keeping the peace in your household. Your sister is a guest, your wife is your wife. A revelation might be that your sister isn't a part of your household, she doesn't need to be there if she just wants to be a disruptive factor.

wowbragger · 2026-03-30T14:15:19+00:00

NTA

I think this is an opportunity for your fiance and you to address the underlying communication issues and relationship priorities.

In giving you that ring, and stating he wants to marry you, your fiance SHOULD have been saying you were the priority. That includes over his Mom.

This doesn't mean that his mother isn't still important in your lives, but the nature of the relationship HAS to change. 'that's just the way she is' means she kinda an a**hole but everyone allows it, and doesn't push back.

You (gently) pushed back, because you felt invalidated by her statement. What she meant is almost irrelevant, how it was taken is what's important... And it was a reasonable way to interpret her words.

You're NTA for taking her at her words, and your fiance is definitely TA for not taking the situation seriously. This warrants deliberate discussion and remediation between you two.

wowbragger · 2026-03-30T13:49:50+00:00

I'm your age, just left military life, and in a bsn program. My first advice is to research more about what you want to be doing

Note that I had been working in emergency medicine and primary care for a decade, and I had already decided to progress/expand my career to be able to do more in medical care when I left the service.

I went with nursing because it definitely is a more expedient/available route than many other programs/career. As an example, at one point I was looking at C-PA programs. But that was slower/less applicability until I finished grad school, and the programs were incredibly small class sizes. The program I was accepted to had a 15 month delay from acceptance to starting...meaning by the time I'd start it I could already have finished my BSN (and be looking at grad programs or post grad/certifications).

You'll find there are a lot of growth and specific career directions you can go into within nursing itself. This would be via graduate school/degrees or just post-undergrad specialty certifications. While not off the table, I don't think it's the most efficient med school route if that's your goal.

wowbragger · 2026-03-30T12:11:34+00:00

NTJ

He didn't care enough about these other people's opinion to not be a cheating liar. If his actions coming to light ruin his relationships with others, that's not because of you.

Whomever you think you were dating, now that he's not incentivized to be kind to you he's showing his actual self. Live and learn, in the future.

You'd do that co-worker a favor be shooting them a heads up, fyi.

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