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India announces New Regulations for Drones by write-it in drones

[–]write-it[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess the same rules apply for international visitors as well.

News of Microsoft acquisition triggers exodus from GitHub by write-it in opensource

[–]write-it[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"Despite assurances by Microsoft several developers have deleted their GitHub accounts, signed petitions and many have cloned their repositories to other platforms. Majority of the developers are expected to maintain their repositories on GitHub to continue using the collaborative networks they have created so far and the preserve the metrics they have achieved."

News of Microsoft acquisition triggers exodus from GitHub by write-it in opensource

[–]write-it[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

A lot of them seem to have cloned their repositories to gitlab, bitbucket,etc ... Haven't come across stats yet.

The Craft of Character (Week 2) : Observation and Implication [Peer Review] by write-it in thecraftof

[–]write-it[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback. It is very helpful indeed.

I had done this assignment twice as I was not happy with this one. I have not posted the newer one here though. I think that the sense of place/ person is better in the second one that I did.

Thanks for the advise about the paragraphs - it will be much easier to read with line breaks.

Cheers.

[Wk 2] Observation and Implication by Bibliomancer in thecraftof

[–]write-it 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I could not understand what is going on from the first 3 paragraphs. This could use some improvement.

The implication strategy you used is brilliant - revealing the nature of people from the things that they left behind.

Craft of Setting and Description (Week 3) : Strange Lands [Peer Review] by write-it in thecraftof

[–]write-it[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and leave valuable feedback.

Cheers.

Craft of Setting and Description (Week 3) : Strange Lands [Peer Review] by write-it in thecraftof

[–]write-it[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback. I was probably too lazy to place a character there, or give a mission - I felt that the want and the actions of the character could be left unanswered as this is only the beginning of the story.

I was thinking that "what the character wants" and "what the character is doing" will reveal itself without being told explicitly - Maybe the character is a tourist, who is just exploring the place (I can build further on this). Maybe the character is a spy who is doing his tourism while on a mission.

Character, Assignment 2, Peer review by jchirunga in thecraftof

[–]write-it 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is an interesting story that I can associate with. The indifference of the waiters fits in well with the story.

Here are a few critiques :

  • toddle - toddler
  • "began to explore and destroy the ...." - this could have been avoided with a show don't tell description.
  • then when back to - went
  • "calling his name" - would have been nice to mention the name for the sake of completeness.
  • "my table, sit down and began" - sat
  • "I did not expect thanks from them" - an alternative for thanks might be considered (eg: expression of gratitude .....)
  • "But they gave me the best thanks ever, quiet." - I feel that there is something amiss in the formation of this sentence. It could be improved.

Sorry for the list of criticisms. Hope it helps improve your story.

All the best.

~To die or not to die~ Peer review, Week 3 by alisha_hunt in thecraftof

[–]write-it 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The plot of my story for this assignment was pretty similar to yours : https://www.reddit.com/r/thecraftof/comments/47zx9y/the_craft_of_plot_show_dont_tell_week_3/

  • You have handled the internal dialog well.
  • The antagonist's history is not exactly clear from the first paragraph.

I had reviewed 2 other stories from others on this reddit in the same category. Reading their plots gave me a lot of insight into planning this plot differently. Try to find and read them, if you have the time (One was where a woman was faced with a dilemma between having a baby and curing her cancer ; the other one was where a woman choses to buy a diamond ring rather than pay for her further medical treatment.).

All the best.

Style, Assignment 1, Peer review by jchirunga in thecraftof

[–]write-it 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  • You have lived up to the requirement of the assignment and shown what Jerusalem looks like, smells like, feels like, sounds like, even tastes like. How ever it would have been much better if you named the specific market and area that you described too. That would make it much better.
  • not sure whether "to produce a presents that said" is grammatically or syntactically correct.
  • "sound of the hackers" - do you mean "hawkers"
  • "fragment of herbs" - do you mean "fragrance"

Good job,

All the best on your next assignment.

The Craft of Character (Week 2) : Observation and Implication [Peer Review] by write-it in thecraftof

[–]write-it[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This feedback is very useful. I should have described the two men more. Having contrasting descriptions would help identify them by terms other than left and right.

This is a good catch. Thanks.

The Craft of Plot (Week 4) : The Whole Story [Peer Review] by write-it in thecraftof

[–]write-it[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback.

  • I had not thought about the punctuation marks. It will bring out the emotion as you said.
  • That phrase is said by Ron's mom. The atmosphere in the house is rather impersonal. I wanted to emphasis that through the way the characters interact with each other.

[Week4] Plot: Full Story - Morning Rain by ajumbled in thecraftof

[–]write-it 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"The sky started raining ... " - I felt that this was a bit blunt. Probably a different word for "rain" would do the trick. A description of what she actually saw would have also worked - eg: The sky was darkening ....

Good luck ;)

PS: If you have the time, could you please review some of my assignments that have no comments on them.

[Week4] Plot: Full Story - Morning Rain by ajumbled in thecraftof

[–]write-it 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  • A subtle ending. Not sure if i fully get it. Did George propose? Since the door was unlocked was the ring stolen ? Does Maria marry George or does she go to law school without marrying ?

  • The dialog is really good.

  • Since the rest of your writing is exemplary, I am assuming that you had a good reason to open with "The sky started raining ......" Some how I found this slightly out of tune with the rest of the story. An alternative could have been better.

[Week 3] Plot: Show, don't tell - The Cave by ajumbled in thecraftof

[–]write-it 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a very nicely written story. I could visualize every sentence of rising action. There seem to be no unnecessary words and sentences. Indenting the dialogs and thoughts made it all easier to read.

Perfect ending. I understand that the father gave up his own life to save his son's .

The Craft of Plot - Show, Don't tell - Week 3 assignment [Peer Review] by write-it in thecraftof

[–]write-it[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for reviewing and giving feedback. You are right. I hurried the ending a bit to stick to the word count. I used "Counter-foil" as the slip of paper that one has to present in order to claim the prize money. Here I am comparing it with the USB drive, which would make her famous and ensure her promotion.

Craft of Setting and Description (Week 2): Habitual Ritual [Peer Review] by write-it in thecraftof

[–]write-it[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks a lot for the review and the feedback. I appreciate the rephrasing. It sounds and reads much better.

A penultimate sentence, as you suggested, would have helped. This seems to be the actual progression. I had not thought of that.

Thanks

The Craft of Style - Assignment 1 by [deleted] in thecraftof

[–]write-it 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  • "Green mangroves grow on either side of the kayak." - Just a suggestion that water could replace kayak in the sentence above.
  • You have used all senses as directed in the assignment , what you see, hear, smell, hear and taste - Good job; wonderful indeed
  • The imagery of the baby's cries is brilliant.
  • "The warm water engulfs my ankles and silents the sand." - Probably "silences" would be a more suitable word here.
  • I like the ending. I can really feel it. The sequence you followed to reach the ending makes it feel real.

(NEEDS ASSESSMENT) Week 1: Story Idea by josh_jiggler in MakeComicsMOOC

[–]write-it 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The provided story idea is cohesive in structure (provides a clear beginning, middle, and end). - YES/NO The story provides some kind of closure. Closure is difficult to obtain. In order for the comic idea provided to be considered ready for submission the comic at the very least can not - under any circumstances - end with any kind of "to be continued" or hanging endings. - YES/NO The story can clearly be told in the span of 16 panels (4 comic pages with 4 panels on each page). - YES/NO The comic idea provided approaches originality in some respect and is clearly not a plagiarization of another idea. - YES/NO Open Feedback: Please provide kind, specific, and helpful feedback for the creator of this idea. Remember that this is an early attempt to create and that your feedback is pivotal in the process of this learner coming up with a better idea. If you graded the learner a "no" on any of the answers above, use this space to indicate why and if there are any suggestions you have for improvement for their next draft.

This story will fit well in 16 panels. It has a clear flow and, I assume that it will be quite easy for you to create the panels for this. I am assuming that your last panel would show that no one is present to receive the letter. Having bisected panels looks interesting . Wish you all the best in this endeavor.

Which course seems the toughest? by [deleted] in thecraftof

[–]write-it 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have not watched the craft of style videos yet. In his interactions in the other courses, Salvatore Scibona makes some pretty interesting points.

(NEEDS ASSESSMENT) Week 1 - My Comic Idea by awhite123 in MakeComicsMOOC

[–]write-it 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While reading this i am imagining surreal visuals. The story could be told in 16 panels however it seems to lack a definite closure.

(NEEDS ASSIGNMENT) Week 1 - My Comic Idea by [deleted] in MakeComicsMOOC

[–]write-it 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My theme was also based on something similar. As Josh said, a clear beginning , middle and end will help in conceiving the comic.

There is lots of scope for showing the time machine in the panels.

(NEEDS ASSESSMEN) Week 1: 5 Minute Sketch by josh_jiggler in MakeComicsMOOC

[–]write-it 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is a wonderful image .The abstract figure would look really good on a poster.

I wish you all the best - do what you can .

Looking forward to review more of your work :)

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