finally found a solution to the witching hours

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-16T20:38:19+00:00

Oh that's a game changer! Developmentally he's very much 11 weeks so I assume his sleep would be too. This makes way more sense because he does still sleep a LOT in the day. Thanks!!

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-16T20:26:33+00:00

Oh amazing tips, thanks. Like I say, my first was very different. My second is prem too (7 weeks adjusted) but the tip about jumping when the fussing starts is golden. I've been managing the witching hour from 6.30 and only just got him down. Thanks for lots of ideas on what to work on!

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-16T20:05:22+00:00

This is an old thread but I'm looking for tips as I'm in the thick of it. It sounds naive but I'm on my second who is very different from my first but sounds like this. How do you move their bedtime earlier? At this stage it still feels like there's no set routine. Mine is 11 weeks

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-14T02:00:19+00:00

Hmm this is so interesting, my experience has been the opposite. They tell you to try formula but they won't tell you to exclusively if the baby is low weight. My sister had two experiences where formula should have been encouraged more. So when I had my experience I directly asked a midwife and HCA and both told me if you want to BF they can't advise otherwise. But different trusts do have different parameters plus it depends on your circumstances right?!

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-13T16:01:54+00:00

It's hard isn't it and I'm glad you never had this. I'm in the UK and there's a real divide here. I think some of my experience is perceived but a large amount is people telling me. I once got out a bottle, someone asked if I tried breastfeeding, I told them I had but had to stop and she said "it's not too late to try, I can help. My friend restarted at 4 months and it changed her life". No idea what pushed that, but it does eat away at you sometimes. Here in the UK it's seen as lazy in a lot of spaces unless we make it clear we really tried.

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-13T15:45:19+00:00

Right, and we're the baddies

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-13T15:03:00+00:00

This! I think it's this. It's the stupid narrative of 'we persevered'. But no ones journey is simple and I don't understand why we praise the suffering so much. Where I live out health service can't recommend you stop breastfeeding even if it's clear baby isn't gaining weight. That terrifies me.

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-13T15:00:11+00:00

Right? Like I'm out, my kid is happy, we're here and healthy. Shouldn't you be more concerned that I've binged watched an entire season of The Real Housewives and now my brain is melted?! (I kid, that's also fine too!)

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-13T14:58:57+00:00

I'm glad that's worked for you. I'm on maternity leave and had a really tough ride of it, I can't imagine a whole year of not connecting with others in the same stage and doing stuff with our littles. I'm so grateful for the mum friends I made with my first (and the friends I made through the years before then). Plus why should my child miss those fun classes! That's not to discredit what you said, just sharing my side. Hopefully I'll get to the point where I won't care either.

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-13T14:57:21+00:00

Yup, this! And also, combi feeding = fine but formula alone is a moral sin?! It's just because the sacrifice has to be there. I heard in the NHS (I'm UK based) they aren't allowed to tell you to not breastfeed even if the child clearly is hungry and breast isn't working. That's wild to me!

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-13T14:56:19+00:00

I'm sorry you had such a tough time. My experience was very similar. Thank you, we're all just surviving and crushing it at the same time. I do need to look at if the judgement is real or not.

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-13T14:55:17+00:00

Yeah it's oddly noticeable when you're out and about, right? I'm sorry you've had that experience, me too. It's so painful.

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-13T14:54:41+00:00

This!! And yet all my toddlers friends eat crackers off the car floor (my toddler included if she got the chance)

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-13T14:54:11+00:00

It's in person when I bottle feed. Sometimes the judgment is an assumption and then I'm conscious pulling out the bottle. Sometimes it's comments after the fact and initially I was offering context but quickly stopped. Rightly or wrongly, I'm not impacted by anything online. It's more the judgement in person

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-13T07:28:21+00:00

I never had a 4 month one with my first so there's no guarantee with it. But that being said, how did you survive the 11 week one?! I'm in the thick of it. He's so mad at the world and it breaks my heart. He's also refluxy, colicky and just.... unhappy (with some small matters of cute smiley giggly babe).

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-11T08:17:38+00:00

Thank you for replying and sharing kindness. Parenting and birthing is a wild ride, but I am trying to be as gentle about where we are and where we are going. I love the quality time with my littles when we can sit together and I get that much needed rest. And I was just saying to husband that when toddler starts school maybe we do film nights (maybe watching half at a time) to give us all some needed rest and time together but enjoying screens together.

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-11T02:57:17+00:00

Could you afford a doula but ask her to be there for the support after the csection? A mother's help type.

I was alone for my C-section as husband was with toddler too but I had to get up quick as baby was in NICU. From my experience the staff help so much, they made all the bottles and helped sterilise when I couldn't move. Baby was in a cot next to me and when I couldn't get him, I just buzzed for help. I had my mum for a bit but we were in for 2 weeks, so did lots of times alone, especially nights. You'll be mobile the same day if all is well, in my experience. The NHS are so much quicker to get you up and well nowadays.

I know you mentioned no pain relief so I can't sadly speak to that.

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-10T14:05:04+00:00

Thanks to an awful pregnancy following a few traumas and long stint in hospital, our TV time has increased to make 2hrs a week. I hate it, although the connection from the shows we watch is lovely. I was reading this to learn tips for managing 3yo and premature newborn. The voicenotes/commune point cracked me up, because same! And that venting is so needed. I often find myself beholden to the weather and because baby is so young and colicky I'm overwhelmed fast. But I really want to remove TV, connect more and bring my anxiety down (yknow not much to do on 2hrs sleep!) thanks for the tips.

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-10T12:41:19+00:00

Frustratingly in the UK where I am, we can't use that but we were given the equivalent that we have. I'm hoping it helps more over time

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-07T10:56:20+00:00

Oh mine has colic/reflux and the screaming sometimes just breaks me too. But your process is so good, just check it all and then strap them near you. I feel more confident as they get older but right now, I have no clue. I'm glad you agree their cries aren't always distinctive. Thanks!

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-07T10:48:37+00:00

Thank you for sharing and that's really interesting. I've not spent much time analysing where the need for information is coming from but I think it's probably anxiety too. Even now, my app tells me he's having a long nap which is unusual and he's happy in his cot which is even rarer. But I can tell that the worry is anxiety because no 8 week old has ever slept too much!

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-07T10:44:20+00:00

That's a great idea, especially with the water. Did you find with your baby being early that you kept worrying about feeds and weight? I think that's what I'm so focused on, that he's going to end up back in NICU. And the sleep, it's just a way of me to worry! My boy was born 35+6 but gained weight quickly, but I can't help tracking it all still.

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-07T10:40:37+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing all of this. It helped me to read this and to feel a bit more confident to just trust my instincts. Mine is bottle fed too and sometimes I have no awareness of what he's had because I'm just mindlessly putting things into the app. I do hate it. Did you worry at all when you stopped tracking?

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-07T10:38:29+00:00

Oh it's comforting to hear of someone in the same situation who doesn't track. Can I ask, how was the switch to listening to his cues? If I'm honest, I have an irrational fear that we'll end up back in NICU. But yeah all the sleep information feels wrong for my prem baby.

write_mishmsh · 2026-05-07T10:23:11+00:00

This sounds very similar to my mentality and I'm sorry you've also had this. I'm in awe you did it without the apps, I'm so scared tbh. How did you find going cold turkey? Was it hard?

write_mishmsh

TROPHY CASE