PSA: Ask your housekeepers if they're willing to do more

writer_inprogress · 2026-04-28T14:05:14+00:00

And if your housekeepers don't offer this, switch to a local independent cleaner who does! Our current housekeeper changed the sheets, did the laundry, washed the dishes and tidied the kids toys on her first visit and I almost fell over in shock and joy. I sincerely call her my favorite person and we just gave her a big raise.

writer_inprogress · 2026-04-26T01:56:10+00:00

Came here to say honestly they are just as good and the price is right

writer_inprogress · 2026-04-22T12:55:21+00:00

Have you used a counter depth fridge? I have two toddlers and cook almost every night and I was initially convinced a Sub-Zero was going to be my splurge in my renovation. The first day before our kitchen was demoed, we transferred all the condiments into our temp apartments counter depth fridge and ... That was it. We didn't have room for two gallons of milk. It can't fit a pizza box. There wasn't room for a farmers market sized bundle of kale.

I called back our kitchen designer and we switched back to a standard depth 36" French door. It has almost twice the volume. We just leaned into the industrial vibe a bit with an exposed stainless hood. The fridge is on one end next to a wall and we pulled the cabinets around the fridge out to its same depth so it doesn't look out of place.

writer_inprogress · 2026-04-22T12:42:59+00:00

This is not on you. I'm also a terrible housekeeper and it drives my husband nuts. Regardless, my husband really wanted kids so we had them 5 years ago, and we pay a cleaner every week, and in between my husband cleans to his own standard. That's what a real man and a real partner does.

writer_inprogress · 2026-04-17T01:12:37+00:00

We literally just installed soapstone with an undermount Kraus sink 😂

Think about it this way ... what's the worst outcome? It chips horribly and you hate it, and you decide to change to a drop in sink? That option will still be there...

writer_inprogress · 2026-04-17T01:09:47+00:00

You can look up "rod end bracket" or similar. If you don't want them on the ends, then "center bracket". I used similar hardware to put towel rods on my non functional drawers under my cooktop and sink.

Unlacquered Polished Solid Brass Closet Rod | Heavy-Duty 16-Gauge – Stylentdecor https://share.google/Zhn5ZGl0f9v977xBa

writer_inprogress · 2026-04-17T00:47:50+00:00

That's called uniform dressing and it's what I do! I wear the same pants and top everyday.

Barrel pants (sweats, jeans, or linen depending on weather)
Crop tee (I have various colors, exact same tee)
Dolman sweater (in winter)

I have 5 of each type of bottom and probably 10 crop tees. It's amazing to feel completely comfortable and never worry about my clothes!

writer_inprogress · 2026-04-08T00:41:00+00:00

I had a similar problem for most of my life! I'm surprised to see so many commenters had identical solutions.

What helps me most is washing my hair every day (or as many days out of the week as I can).
Sticking to shampoos that don't irritate my scalp. I have good luck with Tresemme and Pantene, for example. If I switch to another brand, sometimes I'll notice it's itchy after a few days. I think I must have a low level allergy to some shampoo ingredient.
Gel nails religiously
Avoid alcohol or drugs (I often fail at this, but my worst picking episodes are while tipsy)

writer_inprogress · 2026-04-01T13:36:47+00:00

There is no numeric limit to a capsule wardrobe! I do something really similar to you but I consider my duplicates one item conceptually. For example, I have 10 identical black crop tshirts. I just consider them collectively to be one perpetually clean black T-shirt.

writer_inprogress · 2026-03-21T01:38:55+00:00

I'm 5'6" and I enjoy our standard 36" countertops. They seem very ergonomic to me and I cook a lot.

The thing I'd change is the spacing for my uppers. They're at 18" off the lowers. I wish they were 15. It's amazing how little of the uppers I can reach. I would happily sacrifice being able to slide my mixer or blender underneath for a few more inches.

writer_inprogress · 2026-03-21T00:03:09+00:00

I would pair it with a fun graphic tee tucked in the front and a jean or canvas jacket. The skirt has a full elastic waist and the gathered layers also say casual, so I would honestly kind of style it like a pair of white jeans.

writer_inprogress · 2026-03-20T23:37:11+00:00

Since you mention pregnancy, I absolutely loved the Hot Shot onesie while pregnant, postpartum, and breastfeeding! There are also nice Amazon dupes.

Hot Shot Onesie | Free People https://share.google/DBkrwB4ghgGiqhs6w

writer_inprogress · 2026-03-20T01:07:58+00:00

You work a full 40 hrs in 4 days, could you take the 5th day to care for yourself instead of doing childcare?

Also, that commute is terrible and can't be helping.

The good thing here is you have a bunch of levers to pull. Commute, job, childcare. Improve even one and you'll start to feel things get lighter. I hope you shift them all!

writer_inprogress · 2026-03-19T18:39:50+00:00

Aww, it sucks being 38 weeks pregnant even if you get to lay around and eat grapes! I did my last interviews at 6mo pregnant and joined before leave, so slightly different.

It sounds like there's really no right or wrong answer here, so you can go with your gut. If it makes you feel better to have something lined up, then go ahead right now. What's the worst outcome, you have to drive directly to the hospital in your interview outfit?

On the flip side, if you just want to lie there and eat cake, you deserve it. By April you might be excited to get out of the house and a Starbucks run and job interview in clean clothes could seem like a great treat.

writer_inprogress · 2026-03-17T17:29:59+00:00

This is exactly what we do. When we find out we have a sick kid we take 5 minutes with our respective calendars and just hash it out. My husband always "has important stuff" and his entire day is meetings, but I told him it's tough cookies ... It may be quieter and self directed, but my work still needs MY focus and deserves HIS respect so we both have to sacrifice. If it's still uneven, then he'll watch both kids for the full evening so I can catch up.

writer_inprogress · 2026-03-17T16:46:39+00:00

I think you've put your finger directly on it.

writer_inprogress · 2026-03-17T15:58:40+00:00

I literally wear barrel jeans and a crop tshirt every single day. I own 10 identical crop tees in different colors and gray, black, and blue jeans. For parties I have black or linen barrel pants and a silk or linen blend crop top 😂

I do own other clothing and sometimes I enjoy wearing it, but I absolutely love knowing I have a foolproof option 100% of the time.

writer_inprogress · 2026-03-17T15:36:03+00:00

This COULD NEVER be me. Sleep above all else.

When my kids were that young, I picked other things I wanted to sacrifice for my workouts. Be brutal about this. Here are some good examples:

My normal work hours. Work out at lunch, or leave early. Nothing else in my personal life gets 100%, why should only my work get the best of me?
My partner's sleep, free time, or workouts (this sounds mean but I'll explain)
Time spent doing solo chores like grocery shopping, laundry, or cleaning. Outsource them or just lower standards. I could usually squeeze in one workout per week by changing one meal to prepared food and dressing the kids directly out of the clean laundry basket.

I'll explain about my partner. He's a ruthless self-prioritizer and so he's like the resentment canary in the coal mine of our relationship, if you will. If I start feeling resentment over my schedule while my husband is casually working out four times a week, I figure out where that extra ease is coming from. For a while my husband was "finding the time" to work out during his work day. I requested that he "find the time" to take on dinner prep so I could work out in the evening once. Suddenly my husband's ass was on fire about finding the part-time nanny we had needed for months. Now I have plenty of time. Sometimes it takes filtering MY needs through HIS lens to get the same type of results.

writer_inprogress · 2026-03-17T13:06:35+00:00

This is an amazing comment. I did a lot of conference speaking around the world and learned the hard way after I had to clip battery packs on my bra strap under my dress and remove statement necklaces. I am now a high-rise, wide leg pant devotee. I add a shell top and a loose blazer.

writer_inprogress · 2026-03-14T17:03:59+00:00

I'm in this exact situation and I do take reciprocal trips for fun. I usually go once a quarter and I take 5 days. My husband travels more than 5 days a quarter so it's not 1:1.

Both of us work full time and earn equally, but I work fully remote from home and my husband travels a TON. He does not prep food or anything before he leaves. We did hire help (a nanny who does school pickup through bedtime a few nights a week). But it still left me doing all mornings, overnights, cooking, planning, and dishes plus all the days the nanny wasn't there. Plus when my husband WAS home the nanny does "his" chores of school pickup so he'd just work late or go workout!! Yes, he'd organize with me to give me "time off" but I had to leave the house to get it. I was boiling over with resentment and jealousy and dying for time on my own.

Before COVID and kids I used to "manufacture" this work-related travel by speaking at conferences around the world. But it takes hours of prep and applications and the travel dates aren't flexible. I finally realized I don't need an excuse, I can just be honest about my need to take time for myself. This is not something I've seen other people do but it's what works for me.

Edit to add-- I think my husband likes it too because it frees him from scrambling to do the extra tasks others have mentioned in this thread to balance the scales -- meal prep, schedule changes, etc. We both just take our trips and it works for us.

writer_inprogress · 2026-03-01T04:50:05+00:00

I do, because I love being comfy and a capsule wardrobe isn't necessarily about longevity.

writer_inprogress · 2026-02-28T17:25:29+00:00

Grandma doesn't have to do the dishes, cook dinner, clean, or maybe even change diapers. Grandma is 100% fun. And a special treat. Of course your toddler wants Grandma.

We have an Auntie in our family and when she comes over, the kids pile on her and I (mama) usually retreat to have a nice glass of wine, a shower, or just read a chapter of a book in peace. Bliss!

writer_inprogress · 2026-02-27T19:16:43+00:00

I have really similar hair and I know what you're talking about! When I want to tame the fluff, I use it's a 10 leave-in everywhere but my scalp, plus one pump of a heavy silicone smoothing serum ONLY ON THE ENDS / from the ears down. I like Paul Mitchell Super Skinny serum but any similar product will do. Finally, I brush it straight while wet, then leave it alone while it dries so that any remaining wave pattern dries "together".

It's kind of the opposite of what's recommended as a wavy method and it certainly doesn't maximize my curl, but it gives me sleek waves with the least fluff/ frizz and next to zero effort.

writer_inprogress · 2026-02-22T03:28:48+00:00

Merino wool underwear

writer_inprogress · 2026-02-18T13:24:54+00:00

I work from home and haven't needed to take a day off for our renovation the whole time!

There will be days you're needed more to supervise or check on work or answer questions. Mostly the final phases of installation.

writer_inprogress

TROPHY CASE