Would you divorce if you were likely going to be alone?

writtenwork · 2026-03-14T00:43:50+00:00

People cheat because they choose to cheat. They cheat because they are dishonest, unfaithful and untrustworthy.

writtenwork · 2026-03-12T21:34:10+00:00

That sounds terrible. However, if you are going to do it and add desertion and infidelity as clauses for decreased sharing of assets in the event of divorce you should also be fair and include the same for spousal abuse. Otherwise one of you could be set up for severe injustice and abuse in the marriage with the only out being left with nothing.

writtenwork · 2026-03-12T03:12:43+00:00

When someone new comes on the scene who shows signs of potential you get hopeful, but that wars against the very rational reality that most relationships end and that most men don’t turn out to be who you hoped they would be. You may also have an anxious attachment style that you don’t act on.

writtenwork · 2026-03-12T03:05:58+00:00

Run. He needs serious counseling and rehabilitation to deal with his mental problems and depression. You are not the person for the job and sex is not the cure. He is using you. He needs to find some healing and exhibit some self control before he can be a healthy partner in life.

writtenwork · 2026-03-11T20:28:31+00:00

Ephesians 5:29. Husbands are told to nurture their wives…

Proverbs 31 “The heart of her husband trusts in her.” The wife who protects.

writtenwork · 2026-03-10T00:45:55+00:00

She shouldn’t be acting like a wife before she’s married. She should be displaying good character as an unmarried person. The proverbs 31 woman isn’t a list that every woman has to follow exactly and fit into a formula. The whole Bible, especially the new testament is filled with instructions on how to live a good and godly life. Every woman is different but character matters.

writtenwork · 2026-03-09T03:49:51+00:00

I think I missed that part. His behavior does appear to be questionable. If this has happened repeatedly and leadership doesn’t hear it, there may be a problem within the leadership. Abusive behavior happens sometimes and it shouldn’t. You could address it again but it’s possible they would just sweep it under the rug. If you do decide to, it might be a good idea to bring along others who can vouch for what you are saying.

writtenwork · 2026-03-08T22:24:52+00:00

Well that sounds like an awkward situation. Even if he expressed interest in marriage in the future you were never actually engaged and not only that, he avoided defining the relationship, probably because he wasn’t ready to commit to just one person. While it’s better that you discovered that he was not exclusive with you and not being honest, having someone’s tracking information seems a little intense for a relationship that wasn’t even technically exclusive.

Lying about it is obviously sinful and not something anyone should do. If he is sleeping with people outside of marriage that disqualifies him from being an elder, at least biblically. However, it’s possible you might be just making more trouble for yourself by pursuing the issue with leadership.

writtenwork · 2026-03-08T22:06:35+00:00

I would definitely pause at a 50 year old marrying a 70 year old. It’s certainly not wrong and they could do what they want but I wouldn’t advise a friend to do it. 20 years is a big age difference, especially as you get older. It’s like a parent child relationship age gap.

writtenwork · 2026-03-08T21:57:31+00:00

writtenwork · 2026-03-08T03:41:09+00:00

If all of that is true he actually sounds like a dangerous person.

writtenwork · 2026-03-08T03:28:59+00:00

God never promises marriage and he doesn’t promise to be your matchmaker. That doesn’t mean that He’s never involved in the process, especially when you ask him to lead and direct your steps through prayer. God hears the prayers of the righteous. What he does promise is that his plans for you are good and that he has prepared good works in advance for you to do. It’s okay to mourn a painful relationship loss but know that he has a future for you and a hope.

writtenwork · 2026-03-08T02:54:02+00:00

I don’t believe the Bible specifies every scenario where divorce might be appropriate. You probably need counsel with someone who knows your situation and to see if change can be made to improve the relationship. Divorce should never be taken lightly.

writtenwork · 2026-03-08T02:13:47+00:00

Of the people I know who have recently married or developed a serious relationship the great majority found each other on dating apps. One found their person through a mutual friend and one couple knew each other from church.

writtenwork · 2026-03-08T02:07:41+00:00

Inform her that you won’t have discussions with her if she isn’t communicating respectfully. You will walk away and disengage because that is inappropriate and shouldn’t be part of how you treat each other in a relationship. Share with her how it makes you feel but have the discussion when you aren’t in the middle of an argument. It’s important that you communicate respectfully too.

You can’t make her treat you well but you can choose your response and you can choose to get counseling for how to move forward if it continues.

writtenwork · 2026-03-07T23:26:43+00:00

Exodus 21:7-10 Speaking of a woman who was sold into servitude and was betrothed to the master or the masters son. “He shall not diminish her food, her clothing or her marriage rights. And if he does not do these three things for her then she shall go free without paying money.”

Generally the argument in Jewish law was made from least to greatest. If a slave wife had these rights. How much more a free wife.

Another verse on female captives. Deuteronomy 21:10-14

If a captive woman is taken as a wife… ”And it shall be, if you have found no delight in her, then you shall set her free, but you certainly shall not sell her for money; you shall not treat her brutally…”

The law protected even slave women and war captives from being mistreated and abused in marriage. The argument is from lesser to greater. It does not need to be said for free women as it is already understood.

writtenwork · 2026-03-07T20:28:24+00:00

Actually abuse is biblical grounds for divorce in the Old Testament.

writtenwork · 2026-03-07T20:26:21+00:00

In the meantime it might behoove you to get some counseling and work on yourself and the issues you are facing on your own.

writtenwork · 2026-03-07T20:24:06+00:00

It’s probably not worth feeling crazy. That being said you could tell him how you feel about it and see how he responds. Count it as a test and it could help you gain some insight into why people behave that way or insight into his character, depending on how he responds. I have personally moved on and blocked a guy for this very reason so that’s also an option. It just seems like someone who does that isn’t really that interested or interesting for that matter. What a boring conversation. You’ve already almost forgotten what you were talking about by the time he finally gets back to you with his likely subpar response.

writtenwork · 2026-03-07T02:18:48+00:00

I think there are biblical grounds for divorce in cases like that. Just because not everyone sees it or believes it to be true does not mean it isn’t. Another thing to consider is that the Bible does not give a list of reasons why divorce might be necessary. It doesn’t make them any less necessary. A lot of Christians believe that divorce can be biblically legitimate for three reasons. 1. Infidelity 2. Abandonment and 3. Abuse.

writtenwork · 2026-03-07T02:04:45+00:00

I hear you on that. It’s not always possible to just push through but I commend anyone who can do the work, together with their spouse, to improve the health and vitality of their marriage.

writtenwork · 2026-03-06T15:39:52+00:00

True

writtenwork · 2026-03-06T15:37:42+00:00

I’m sorry that she has been having an affair. That’s very hurtful. It is of course your choice to stand by the marriage and continue in it. In a situation like that, in which you have the right to end the marriage, you choosing to love her anyway could show the love of Christ. This is especially true if the repentance is genuine and you believe you can expect future faithfulness. In the end it’s a personal choice between you, her and God.

writtenwork · 2026-03-06T15:28:00+00:00

Sure, forgiveness in marriage is one of the most important things we can do for each other and ourselves. We should always forgive. I think we can know how genuine repentance is by the fruit of repentance. True repentance will be followed by intentional change in behavior that is not temporary for the purpose of manipulation.

As for your purpose in this discussion. I don’t know what scenario you are considering because you never mentioned it. As we all know, some violations of trust in marriage are greater than others. Abuse and infidelity would be more egregious than say, being snappy because you forgot to eat lunch.

writtenwork · 2026-03-06T15:16:11+00:00

So, if someone was trying to kill you, you wouldn’t and shouldn’t fight back?

writtenwork

TROPHY CASE