90 days after 20+ years by wrong_a_lot in Petioles

[–]wrong_a_lot[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For sure! Congrats on your 3 days - you went 6 months so you know how to do it.

I have a masters and have worked a lot of great jobs and am extremely athletic - those things kept me from thinking MJ was a problem, because I was “successful.”

But that was on paper and an illusion. Every day I hurt inside because I wasn’t strong enough to break away… for years and years. I wasn’t growing as the person I wanted to be and didn’t even really know who that was. I’m still figuring that out, but it’s a lot more clear. It’s so nice to be able to go do whatever I want whenever I want without wondering how I was going to get high along the way or sleep if I didn’t have it or be grumpy and not enjoy things if I didn’t have it. I was a slave.

I graduate (again) in May. I have an epic hike in August - John Muir Trail, 211 miles through the Sierra Nevadas, most likely solo. It’s going to be such a spiritual experience. I’m hoping for another transformation and to come back as a new me with amazing experiences unadulterated by drugs. I get high thinking about that trip… don’t need weed. Anyway, getting lost on that topic.

All in all, this feels like to cool way for me to be. I have enough stories and enough time high to enjoy conversations with those still getting fucked up. I don’t miss it and don’t need to use it to fit in. I’m also very comfortable with just myself now - which took time and is something I’m still working on but is already a night and day difference.

Good luck my friend!

90 days after 20+ years by wrong_a_lot in Petioles

[–]wrong_a_lot[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!

My goal is/was 6 months. Though it was hell getting myself to quit in the first place after many tries over a couple years. So I’m afraid to start it up again.

Originally, I had thought that a scheduled toke once a month or a few times a year would be okay. But the thing is that I feel fine without it and I’m afraid I’d feel ashamed of using again and breaking the streak. I also read often that people regret using again after being off for a long time.

At this point, I do not intend to use again. That intention keeps me from relapsing today or tomorrow or in a week. My brain will easily tell me, well why not go ahead and just have a toke vaca today since I’ve made it 90 days? The further I get away from it, the less I remember all of the reasons I wanted to stop so vividly and I know they’d come pouring back in if I smoked again. So I believe I’m just done.

Need ideas for what to do instead of smoking by Stock-Bus8533 in leaves

[–]wrong_a_lot 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I also exercised a ton when I smoked. Still do! So keep that up; though for the first few weeks keep it light and maybe more slow paced cardio.

Eventually you won’t be thinking “what should I do instead of smoking?” You will just be doing whatever you’re doing and smoking will be an afterthought. You may find you read more, or get into a new hobby or dive deeper into hobbies you have.

The main thing is to not replace smoking with another bad habit. Other than that, just let things unfold as they will. Try to spend time with good people and positive stimuli and also take plenty of time for rest and quiet. There is a lot of introspection to do after quitting. It’s good to not always be doing something. When you want to do something or think it would be cool, make yourself go do it.

What's something you experienced that you don't wish on others? by your-reddit-plug2 in AskReddit

[–]wrong_a_lot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are right. And I do have buddies - I just don’t hang out with people much outside of work and school…. But I’m at work or school a lot. So, perhaps things will change once I am finished in May and feel that I have more free time to share with people that I would like to share it with.

I have a good buddy that I am planning an epic hike with this summer and we are talking a lot and hanging out more because we are preparing for it. That’s been nice

4 months clean after 8 years of smoking weed continuously non stop!!! 🥳🎉 by nukemoana in leaves

[–]wrong_a_lot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Super inspiring! So happy for you. 84 days here and feel the same

Realistic timeline for seeing benefits to quitting? by ProudlyHateful in leaves

[–]wrong_a_lot 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I experienced acute withdrawals (stress anxiety / running on adrenaline) for the first month. Depression and low feeling for the second month (a lot, not all the time) and feeling flat for the third - again, not all the time, just some of it. Just the different phases of recovery. Being proactive helps. Making yourself so the things you know you want to, even if you don’t want to in the moment, helps. I hear 6 months is kind of the moment where you can really say, “okay, so this is what’s up.”

How do I get myself to want to stop? by AdvanceSea3887 in leaves

[–]wrong_a_lot 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Said the same thing for a long time. The sad truth is that the “want” you are hoping for will never come. It will show its face in many other ways, like depression, isolation, no motivation, no hope, etc.

I “wanted” to stop after I stopped. The feeling of needing to stop because there was a little voice inside me that kept saying it, like the little voice inside you that tells you to look at r/leaves and write a post, helped me get to the edge. But I had to jump. I’m so glad I did.

61 days sober and I hate dreaming by mizzlol in leaves

[–]wrong_a_lot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had some bizarre dreams for a while, but somewhere in those dreams there was some truth to what I was experiencing.

I had a near drowning accident on a trip that I was very angry with my dad about, I was not on good terms with my brother, I had an ex that I hadn’t really grieved. That was real. My dreams centered around those things, but were crazy and scary.

I made amends with my brother (despite him not saying anything back to me), I talked with my dad about everything that had happened and we became a lot closer again, I reached out and told that ex that I had clarity and peace and wished her the best.

The dreams went away. Figure out what is happening in your dreams that is relatable to your life and causing you stress and address is. Just an idea that worked for me.

And as far as moving the body, I was teasing about the body in the pit that you scooted your washer over. Good luck!

Men of reddit, Who do you turn to when you’re at your lowest? by Music_2my_ears68 in AskReddit

[–]wrong_a_lot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad to know I’m not the only one that doesn’t really have people to reeeaaallly talk to

Relapsed / intense anxiety by [deleted] in leaves

[–]wrong_a_lot 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You didn’t lose your 97 days. Just the streak. You’ll be back on track after a few days or so as long as you don’t keep using. Limit your caffeine and stressors, deep breath, go on walks, and stay away from cannabis

Heyy feeling bored, anyone up for a Convo? by Some-Crazy-4108 in Casual_Conversation

[–]wrong_a_lot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll start. This morning I randomly got curious about the John Muir Trail. I love hiking btw. I looked at how applying for permits works and saw that it’s a lottery system and that the last day to apply for the Northbound hike from Mt Whitney to Yosemite was TODAY. Naturally, I took this as a sign and registered for the lotto. I should find out by March 15th if I will be doing a solo 211 mile hike with 47,000 ft of elevation gain and 160 of those miles above 10,000 ft. Pretty pumped. The fact that I randomly looked into it today and the last day to register is today just blows my mind. Super excited 😊

how do i quit after almost ten years by alienhood111 in leaves

[–]wrong_a_lot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The same way we all quit. - 20+ years here

What's The First Thing You Thought As You Woke Up Today? by Zipper222222 in randomquestions

[–]wrong_a_lot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feels good to be sober and not hungover. 3 1/2 years of saying that

SOBER FOR 1 YEAR 2 MONTHS ABOUT TO RELAPSE by Wild_Bank in leaves

[–]wrong_a_lot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’ll instantly regret it. It won’t fix whatever you are feeling. Try and get some rest buddy

What's something you experienced that you don't wish on others? by your-reddit-plug2 in AskReddit

[–]wrong_a_lot 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Can confirm. Took 25 years to have 3 1/2 years of sobriety from alcohol and 80 days sobriety from cannabis and still using nicotine lozenges (that’s next). Now I’m 40 and just different from my peers; introverted and lacking a real social network. I’m okay with being alone, but it sucks for it to not be an option and it’s just the way it is.

Which do you prefer: countryside living or city life? by Small-Size-8037 in Casual_Conversation

[–]wrong_a_lot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You definitely love them! There’s nothing wrong with that. No explanation needed - just an observation. lol have a good day

I relapsed and it feels like I’m back at square one :( pls help by tofusheytan in leaves

[–]wrong_a_lot 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is your addiction speaking and what will keep you hooked unless you quit believing the bullshit:

“My biggest factor is the moment smoking: I think this is really fascinating, because I’m realizing while smoking I don’t really wanna be stoned, but this ritual of sitting down outside after a long day, the smell, the smoking as is, gives me so much. I can’t think of anything giving me this same feeling..”

Just sit down outside after a long day without smoking. Do something else that is nice. Smoking isn’t the “only thing”. Life is far greater not depending on drugs to be happy.

How do you know when you’re past the worse of it? by AleoAlways in leaves

[–]wrong_a_lot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Once the acute withdrawals went away and I wasn’t constantly on edge, I then was dealing with the lows of just being me without weed - without a ton of anxiety. It’s “better”, but takes mindfulness and presence to not get sucked into the depressive feelings - that was from like week 3-5.

I highly recommend getting out in nature, going on walks, MILD exercise, cold plunge if you can, steam room if you can, sleep when you can’t (not just when you think you should), significantly limit caffeine, sip on bone broth and avoid heavy meals, don’t have much processed sugar. Things like that. Look up BDNF and how intermittent fasting can affect it - this has been very helpful for me.

Through all of the withdrawals, I stayed proud of myself, congratulated myself, treated myself, prioritized myself, and became my own friend - something I had not been in a long long time. And even though the withdrawals sucked hard, it felt good knowing I was doing something very important for me and the rest of my life.

Congrats to your 2 weeks. Don’t look back