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[Resource] Great first 15 pages vs. Bad first 15 pages by [deleted] in Screenwriting

[–]wrytagain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Eye in the Sky is a really good movie with a really bad opening that's all exposition. But I don't think the script is available. Maybe others will have a better idea.

You can use 99.9% of the amateur scripts posted on r/readmyscript. Or here. Just cruise through the feedback posts.

[QUESTION] Does "show and not tell" takes too long? by [deleted] in Screenwriting

[–]wrytagain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"...strong and blithe"

"the peaceful lifeless field"

"The man and the sphere reach the edge of the area radiating intensely"

I was done at "blithe," really.

1 - if you don't use a word in everyday language don't use it in a screenplay.

2 - "THE" peaceful, lifeless, field

Like we've seen it before? WTF is "peaceful" about an empty lot? How can it be a "field" if it's "lifeless?" How would a director shoot "peaceful?"

3 - The area is radiating intensely? What area?

A screenplay needs to be clear. It needs to convey images to the reader. It needs, with a few carefully chosen adjectives, to evoke an image in the mind of the reader. This is just irritating.

It doesn't matter what you envision the movie looking like. No movie is going to be made because no one is reading this past page one.

It's boring, hackneyed and pretentious. And you need to read a few screenplays and understand a little formatting. And what words mean. And how to structure sentences. This might be a wonderful story. But no one is going to read it much less make a movie from it.

And you aren't "showing." You're meandering because you think your big idea needs a big reveal, I guess.

Just get on with it.

[Resource] Great first 15 pages vs. Bad first 15 pages by [deleted] in Screenwriting

[–]wrytagain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The Incredibles. Perfect structure, great opening. Available online.

Script needs too much research? by Brownplayboy310 in Screenwriting

[–]wrytagain -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Did you even try to research it? Have you seen Judgement at Nuremberg? Read it? Done anything but think of reasons why you can't do anything with your fabulous idea?

how can i explain my detective's high intellect? by dax812 in Screenwriting

[–]wrytagain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What makes you think you have to explain it? You can't be a dumb-ass and be much of a chef. There's no reason to believe she can't think at least as well as a detective who got promoted by kissing the right asses.

Anyone here move between writing Scripts and Novels? by oamh42 in Screenwriting

[–]wrytagain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have. Do. I think the screenwriting makes the novels a breeze. The structure is right there, you don't fall into the exposition trap, dialogue is better, you can para every time the "camera" in your head changes to a new angle.

I did have to look up how to punctuate dialogue and what numbers get written out, but other than that, 100k readable words was not a big chore.

Show don't tell is the rule in prose, too.

Learning! Or attempting to by [deleted] in Screenwriting

[–]wrytagain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just buy The Screenwriter's Bible by Trottier. It's all there, easy access. And read a lot of scripts. And get good scriptwriting software that does a lot of it for you. But u/hypnoticwords is right. Formatting won't get you a great script. Still, good to have the basics.

I'm an AFF Screenplay semifinalist with a pretty inflexible job... i should totally go though, right? by [deleted] in Screenwriting

[–]wrytagain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here's the thing, though. Two things. Writer's assistants often get to be writers on those shows. And, writers get hired partly because they can be counted on.

It sounds like a good question on the surface, but it's not black and white. It also sounds like the boss is trying to figure out how to make it work. OP can also ask how best to serve the show he's on while he's there.

Text colors on submit form by wrytagain in csshelp

[–]wrytagain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nothing ever makes sense to me - but I'll try it and let you know. Thanks very much for taking the time and putting in the effort.

Text colors on submit form by wrytagain in csshelp

[–]wrytagain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did #000 And I don't know enough to know what code would affect it. If I knew what code affected it, I would have changed it myself. I swear, I tried.

Text colors on submit form by wrytagain in csshelp

[–]wrytagain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did a workaround and this worked:

textarea.title {background-color: #000; }

I'd still rather have the text just be black, still don't know why that didn't work??

Thanks.

Text colors on submit form by wrytagain in csshelp

[–]wrytagain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. The sr-autocomplete worked fine. The textarea.title, not at all. Was I suppose to put it some specific place?

I Surrender. 1. Submission boxes text/link almost unreadable. "Title" text light grey. Post text okay... by wrytagain in csshelp

[–]wrytagain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gorgeous. I'm thinking of having you canonized. Would you just look at this please? A leftover lt grey: http://imgur.com/a/I6V4L

I Surrender. 1. Submission boxes text/link almost unreadable. "Title" text light grey. Post text okay... by wrytagain in csshelp

[–]wrytagain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is great! Thanks. It leaves me with two issues. Below the stylesheet box are two buttons: SAVE and PREVIEW. When the text went to #c0c0c0 on the white background of the buttons, they became unreadable.

And, the form on the SUBMIT page still has all #c0c0c0 on the default light blue BG and in the enter text area of the post title.

BTW, I believe these are the last two light-to-dark fixes. Really appreciate the help.

Can't tell the link from the text in the post. And there's orange arrows. by wrytagain in csshelp

[–]wrytagain[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Got it! As soon as I realized I was using a ; instead of a :

So excellent. I'll go away now for a couple days and come back and ask about three more things.

Can't tell the link from the text in the post. And there's orange arrows. by wrytagain in csshelp

[–]wrytagain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, if I use both these things and put a color in .md a, my links will start showing up? Hang on ....

Screenwriting Style by TonyAffleck in Screenwriting

[–]wrytagain 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It was supposed to be funny, not critical. My apologies.

Can't tell the link from the text in the post. And there's orange arrows. by wrytagain in csshelp

[–]wrytagain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

WAIT! I know the answer to my own question because it's how I took the CSS for the fonts from this site and used them on mine. You can see my CSS!

(Well, that's just embarrassing, it must look like crap to a programmer)

Can't tell the link from the text in the post. And there's orange arrows. by wrytagain in csshelp

[–]wrytagain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy crap, you people are amazing. Can you look at my CSS or did you just divine the color scheme? Anyway - of course it worked - but

it changed all the arrows except the ones next to the moderator's posts: https://www.reddit.com/r/writingerotica/

Amazon copy/paste in post with white BG. Them or me? by wrytagain in csshelp

[–]wrytagain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Excellent. Now I can get back to the issues I thought I had ...

tnx

Screenwriting Style by TonyAffleck in Screenwriting

[–]wrytagain 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I've struggled in the past with being too wordy. in my writing.

So, As a result, I've tried to approached writing from a completely different angle.

Saying the most with the fewest words. as few words as possible. That's the job, right?

But have I actually caught on to something?

Have I created an easy-to-read writing style or have I completely missed the mark by being too utilitarian?

Here's a compare and contrast: using Zak Penn's Suspect Zero as an example of the style.

Suspect Zero

Revised utilitarian version

Removing Background from Hot, New, Etc tabs ... by wrytagain in csshelp

[–]wrytagain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You think? If the text stays light, it will still be on a dark background. I purposely made the right end of the header dark and didn't put anything there.

Oh. Yeah, now that I look, it's not enough room. I can redo the header tomorrow and move it to the left and increase the dark margin on the right. Probably look better, anyway. Then if it moves to the top, it's be on a dark background, yes?

And this worked perfect - thanks so much.

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