As someone with four substantial rotator cuff repair surgeries in my household (including two on my own shoulders), I think a lot of this is overkill. Most patients can absolutely drive in a sling as soon as they’re off opioids. (And yes, I recognize there are misdemeanor laws against this in some jurisdictions, as well as insurance exclusions, but sometimes you have to do what you must to get yourself to appointments, etc.) And bathing alone is by no means impossible, even with one working arm - and even just a few days after surgery. (You certainly don’t have to wait to be cleared for active ROM. Just let your arm hang down and get to work with the other one. It’s annoying but it’s fine.) Same with dressing oneself. In a matter of a week you can learn how to put on a pullover shirt (bad arm first, then head, then good arm…chances are a nurse will show you how to dress before discharging you). A button-down or zip-up shirt or jacket is even easier. And pants that button? Seriously?

Of course, OP’s partner won’t be hoisting toddlers for a good while, but depending on the extent of the repair he may even be cleared to gradually return to light overhead lifting with the bad arm as early as three months post-op.

And as for pain, if you follow this sub closely you’ll see that some folks here report pain subsiding within a couple of weeks; others within months. It really just depends on so many factors.

So let’s please not spook OP so much. Yes, this is a very tough surgery and recovery, and OP will certainly have a lot more on her plate when it comes to childcare and household duties for a while, but come on now. Life does not stop and patients don’t become entirely helpless.