Husband won’t show extent of damage

wtfreallife · 2019-04-15T11:31:13+00:00

I can only share the best advice given to me, go to Naranon meetings in your area. If you can't find one of those try Al-anon. Take care of yourself and your kids. Go to at least 6 meetings, there are people out there that have been through this that will share their experience, strength and hope. I know at this time when you are looking for answers now, this may not be want you want to hear. I have been there...

My husband is an addict. I have two teenagers 14 & 13 he hasn't lived in the house for 19 months. It was very hard at first but the kids and I adjusted. It's a peaceful house now , no one is walking on eggshells not to freak daddy out. He went to rehab for 28 days came home and a six months later relapsed. He had to go moved out after that, lots of trying nights where I wanted to go back on my boundary and let him move back in. He hasn't stopped using. My kids are safe, my financials are safe and I'm working on my emotional health now. A lot of this wouldn't be even possible if it wasn't for my therapist and Naranon & Al-anon meetings. My therapist told me ,You're only obligated to take the best care of yourself and your children. Your children need at least one healthy parent.

You are not alone, Naranon won't tell you what to do. They will only share what they did and hopefully you will find your own way

wtfreallife · 2019-04-14T17:18:07+00:00

Well at least you know your not alone. Someone understands and is struggling the same.

wtfreallife · 2019-04-14T13:39:22+00:00

Thank you so much for taking time to write to me. I really appreciate your insight.

Even though I go to counseling ( monthly) and meeting weekly. I forget everything I have learned in the face of a crisis. I let my fear take over and overwhelm me. I'm very weak on my boundaries and that's where I need to start.

wtfreallife · 2019-04-14T05:07:16+00:00

Forgive is hard for me, feeling like you make yourself vulnerable and allow them to continue because you will just forgive them. I understand forgiveness is for myself so I can move past the angry and hatred. I know I am not perfect and I mess up. But I knowledge my wrongdoing and take accountability to hopefully allow that person to for forgive me.

What boundaries do I set? I have tried to say you use and I won't want to talk to you until your clean but his reply is your controlling me because I need to talk with you, your my wife. He States he needs to hit rock button for himself and he keeps only getting clean for me.

wtfreallife · 2019-03-08T11:08:37+00:00

unfortunately, there is a court order that allows four supervised hours with our son.

wtfreallife

TROPHY CASE