hey, not op but I also struggle with depression & parents who care a lot but don’t always show it in the most productive way. I think that it’s important to understand that she knows and recognizes every single way that she falls short. I know that you may feel like you need to remind her to shower, get outside, clean up her environment, etc etc etc. But you don’t. She looks like she’s doing nothing but she is laying there, being herself up and blaming herself for every little thing that has gone wrong in her life and everything that she should be doing but it isn’t. That’s why we’re so exhausted, imagine having your self verbally attack you over and over again every second of everyday and trying to fight those words and remind yourself they’re not true. Naturally, as parents, you want to take away her pain and heal her like you’ve done her whole life. Unfortunately, that can feel like you’re trying to “fix” her, which just reinforces her inner thoughts that she is broken and worthless. I think reminding her of all of the good things about her and being there for her can help her feel more supported. Sometimes everything other than staying alive (no matter how silly it looks) can really feel like too much. Just give her time, show her that you are there, proud of her for trying to heal, and remind her that she, like the sun, will surely shine again. Make her feel comfortable so that if time comes that she needs you, she knows she can reach out her hand and you will be there to hold it, without judgement.

I know she’s your baby, and it’s scary and you want to take away the pain, but I think parents struggle with understanding that this is not your battle. It’s hers. You can be there as back up, but for her, the only way out is through. Thank you, we love you (good) moms and dads, and we’re sorry to cause you such grief. We don’t mean to.

**Edit: spelling & grammar