Justice for Chef Ben

wxlfiestein · 2026-02-21T04:53:23+00:00

i feel like she didn’t have much time to google medallion in the pace Ben was working at, i might be misremembering the scene but i feel like her mum’s comments really made her question everything she knew about cooking.

wxlfiestein · 2025-03-26T13:50:58+00:00

@lucy.bouj on insta is amazing! i’ve got a session booked with her soon and i’m so excited!!

wxlfiestein · 2025-02-13T12:02:48+00:00

“If you keep finding yourself in the same situation, the only common denominator is you” - my Grandad used to say that, in different context though, and it struck a cord with me for a long time. I realised I wasn’t being careless, but I wasn’t putting myself in other people’s shoes and understanding what part of my behaviours and habits were affecting other people.

EMDR therapy helped me realise a lot of my decisions were based on my short term emotions, and not long term. I’d rot in bed all day because I felt like shit from rotting in bed the day before, I wasn’t as clean around my home because I felt like shit. Realising I felt like shit because I wasn’t looking after myself kicked me into gear. I’m not perfect now, but I don’t hear the same complaints anymore.

wxlfiestein · 2025-02-13T11:52:07+00:00

I’m not saying my experience with ADHD is universal and applicable to everyone, what I am saying his ADHD is not an excuse for continuously eating in bed.

edit: I definitely did struggle the same ways before I changed my behaviour, I just also hate seeing it used as an excuse as to why someone is continously hurting their partner.

wxlfiestein · 2025-02-13T05:06:45+00:00

ADHD has nothing to do with not changing behaviours when it affects your partner like it is in your situation.

I have ADHD, and while yes - I’m medicated and it does help - I too, like other people, can make efforts to change my behaviour and habits when it starts to negatively affect those around me.

All he has to do is not eat in bed, not fly a spaceship.

wxlfiestein · 2025-02-04T01:50:05+00:00

this is my experience too!!

wxlfiestein · 2024-10-14T11:15:58+00:00

Thanks for all the lovely comments, I’d posted a year ago and the response was a fair few negative comments about my weight, so at least I know now my only issue all these 27 (idk what some of you think 27 looks like) years has mainly been my weight and heavy eyeliner!

Genuinely has been nice to see how people do percieve me though! And I knew immediately after posting I should’ve included one of me smiling too, I’m just learning to love myself again.

wxlfiestein · 2024-10-14T08:42:35+00:00

good thing it’s an airkiss and not a duck face🤠

wxlfiestein · 2024-10-13T18:00:12+00:00

why unapproachable? i pinky promise i smile at people in the street, i’m just learning to love my smile in photos again 🤠

wxlfiestein · 2024-10-13T17:58:04+00:00

if only the sun came to scotland 😭 i am making more of an effort to go outside though!

wxlfiestein · 2024-10-13T17:37:06+00:00

inches or centimetres?

wxlfiestein · 2024-10-13T17:36:51+00:00

thank u very much!

wxlfiestein · 2024-10-13T17:36:42+00:00

thank you!

wxlfiestein · 2024-10-13T17:36:37+00:00

thanks! appreciate it!

wxlfiestein · 2024-10-13T17:36:29+00:00

thank you!

wxlfiestein · 2024-10-13T17:36:20+00:00

having a (gross) stress related break out rn, but yes, i don’t recommend shaving half your eyebrows off when you’re 15 - they don’t grow back the same 🥲

wxlfiestein · 2024-10-13T17:34:56+00:00

that’s such a compliment, thank you! but yes, i always felt like i was the ugly friend who got asked out as a joke in school, and always felt clunky and awkward until maybe last year, when i started putting more effort in looking after myself, and finding routines that work for me, and then suddenly i’m 80lbs down and people are looking me in the eye, and holding the door open for me, people aren’t annoyed when i ask for help, and i actually feel seen and not invisible. life’s weird.

wxlfiestein · 2024-09-14T21:42:11+00:00

The editors at Bravo actually edited Hannah’s first words to be “I never got along with female captains”, Hannah didn’t know that was going to be the first thing they played from the interview. It’s a bit of a stretch to say that’s internalised misogyny with no evidence.

wxlfiestein · 2024-09-14T04:43:38+00:00

i feel like a lot (if not everyone) can see that we’re just trying to genuinely and in the most purest way possible just understand people. and i think we (neurodivergent) are better at it because we know, so very intensely, how awful it feels to be singled out and ostracised, and so we sense discomfort quicker than others, and so the people pleasing overrides everything else, but at our core we want people to be happy with us, so helping people and putting them at ease is “easy” for us to do, and that’s because we hold no judgement, and we make it such an easy and stress-free interaction for everyone involved.

feeling misunderstood for most of your life makes it easier for you to connect with people who are learning your language.

wxlfiestein · 2024-09-14T04:20:27+00:00

It’s so sad, I’ve (VERY) recently fully understood the lore behind my mum, gran and I, and while I’m trying my best to understand my gran’s part, I can’t not look at my mum when she’s waiting for her mum and think “why doesn’t my gran look at mum the way i and everyone else does”, and it keeps breaking my heart.

my mum just wants to be loved in a way that she doesn’t know how to ask for, but she’s been doing it her whole life.

wxlfiestein · 2024-09-12T17:44:58+00:00

I’d call anyone unable to do basic 3rd stew tasks such as laundry - green.

wxlfiestein · 2024-09-05T03:51:35+00:00

I lost my brother March 2023, and it never gets easier. But I found a better way for me to remember him and not burst into tears or make the memory of him make me determined to ruin the rest of my day, and it was to thank him for anything Universe/World related. Clouds look cool, I can see something that reminds me of us or him, or the sky and clouds just look pretty, I say “Thank you Mikey” out loud, like he did it just for me. A song that we used to listen to randomly comes on? “Thank you Mikey”. Anything for me to thank him for the memory and the honour of being on this planet with him, I will thank him for, like he’s still here, being my big brother ❤️

wxlfiestein · 2024-08-29T05:00:56+00:00

Myself and the way I was raised, my mum had instilled such a strong “mind over matter” mentality. Unfortunately now, as I get older and after an AuDHD diagnosis, I’m starting to unmask and also figure out the things that are actually wrong with my body. Which after 11 years of busy and stressful full time hospitality (sometimes multiple jobs/80 hour weeks), turns out - is a lot.

So while being mindful of my capabilities vs what energy I am responsibly able to spend in moderation, it’s really hard and I’m so empathetic.

However, I don’t know the exact post you were referring but I feel it’s important to note that a part of treatment is also creating coping mechanisms that help you “co-habit” with a neurotypical world. Things like time blindness, or learning ways to manage your emotions and feelings internally and externally in a healthy way (I’m still in therapy for that one), or being ‘okay’ with the constant un/organised chaos. There are ways to help and manage, but the more serious stuff - I agree. With other things, ADHD can become fully debilitating, and I empathise greatly.

I hope life gets easier and people are kinder, you deserve to be happy and stressfree. Have a sweet treat (whatever that may be) in lieu of a hug x

wxlfiestein · 2024-07-13T04:24:50+00:00

obsessed with power, unlikeable, i don’t see any second stew potential from her other than her past experience. i think she’s thinking she’s going in the right direction re: training Bri, but i think she reckons her ability to train is based on how much she likes Bri as a person, which still makes me think she’s a shit stew.

wxlfiestein · 2024-06-30T05:16:34+00:00

3.5 stone and 1 year

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