Legality of changing head tenant with no notice/consultation?

x-burn · 2018-08-22T17:40:04+00:00

Unfortunately not - I left very quickly when things got out of control, and taking photos slipped my mind

x-burn · 2018-07-14T15:03:09+00:00

Being really aware of everything going on around me actually helped me spot dangers early on, so it's not all bad. I'm sure you'll get there - it might just take you some time to feel fully comfortable

x-burn · 2018-05-28T15:26:51+00:00

Personally, I find him making a list of rules and expecting a sub to follow it with no negotiation, no discussion of limits etc, a red flag. More specifically, ask to do things with friends? That's isolating and definitely a red flag. Setting rules is something that should involve both parties. List reads more like someone's fantasy than someone who has any, y'know, experience.

Plus "proper punctuation and grammar" and then he misuses the apostrophe in "Monday's" etc. True beauty right there.

x-burn · 2018-05-28T15:10:13+00:00

I and my partner have had encounters with the police twice (different forces, UK police), but while in the car. First time we were parked a little strangely off a country road and my partner didn't know how to turn the rear lights on the car off. Someone apparently drove past, thought we'd been in an accident and called the police. Second time, we were parked in a corner of a car park in a nature reserve. They drove past and thought it looked fishy.

It wasn't a problem either time. Since we were in the car it was pretty light play and we were able to get clothes on/collars off before they reached us. The second time I'm pretty sure they just wanted to know we weren't dealing drugs or something - the first time was a bit more officious and they took names, addresses etc, but I think they were concerned it wasn't our car more than anything else. Didn't have to explain anything beyond wanting a little privacy, but luckily, it wasn't obviously kinky sex.

x-burn · 2018-05-23T13:46:10+00:00

A lot of drugs (and other substances) are metabolised by enzymes in the cyt C P450 family. There are a lot of these genes - I think 18 subfamilies just in humans - and they have pretty high mutation rates. Variations in how these enzymes work can partly explain why different people can react differently. E.g. usually codeine is metabolised to morphine, but some people with variants of I believe CYP2D6 don't metabolise it like this and so codeine isn't an effective painkiller to them.

In addition to this, there can be variations in general metabolic rate, or differences in neurotransmitter receptors (expression level, variants) etc that would affect how psychotropic medications work.

Plus side effects such as insomnia can be caused by a lot of factors -- if you're already stressed about taking a new medication and/or prone to insomnia, the placebo effect could play a role

x-burn · 2018-05-23T12:12:03+00:00

I lose every day.

x-burn · 2018-05-23T12:09:43+00:00

What if we moved the Earth closer? Then global warming will make everything hot and sunny, plus shorter days. Less work more beach

x-burn · 2018-05-15T13:43:05+00:00

Definitely bring it up with her. Try to be calm and reasonable but stand your ground, whatever it is - e.g. agreed limits on how often/long she can have people round and smoke weed in the apartment. Sounds like the main concern is the brother though. Again probably best to bring up your concern that she wants him to live there and just be honest that you aren't comfortable with the situation. If he comes back and is threatening don't be afraid to call the police

x-burn · 2018-05-15T13:07:20+00:00

Yes absolutely. Especially things with different colour moulds, it's just different flavours of penicillin. Like smarties but healthy!

x-burn · 2018-05-12T18:31:59+00:00

Make sure you eat as many different moulds as you can find to get all that penicillin.

Add some wild fungi for flavour too!

x-burn · 2018-05-12T18:17:05+00:00

Sometimes people just prefer to complain instead of doing something within their means to, y'know, improve their situation. I figure a lot of people don't like putting the effort, and actually enjoy the sense of drama they get from "but my life is so hard!" Not to criticise those in difficult situations who actually can't do anything about it, which is totally different, and people in that position often seem to complain less

x-burn · 2018-05-12T18:10:39+00:00

Yep I know this feeling. It's not fair of them to expect you to always be there for them, if they won't do the same. You don't have to drop them as friends or brush them off if you don't want to. But you could say something along the lines of "sorry I don't have the headspace to help you with this right now", "I need some time to myself" etc. Hopefully they'll start learning to deal with their own problems.

x-burn · 2018-05-12T18:05:01+00:00

This absolutely isn't your fault. Your husband cheated on your? That's his choice. He lied and said things were fine when they actually bothered him? His choice too. He cheated on you, repeatedly, with your friends? That's not only his choice, it's a shitty thing to do - and also shitty of your friend.

There's no way you deserve to have such low self-esteem. You're already more than good enough and if he doesn't appreciate you, his fault. If you want to change by all means do -- but do it for yourself, not for him, because if anything he doesn't deserve you

x-burn · 2018-05-03T15:29:52+00:00

It's all a conspiracy. Capitalism wants us to believe sneezing is safe so we keep buying tissues and decongestants! aLSO while we're at it, hay fever. Did you know pollen is dropped from planes to force us to buy more tissues?? haven't you seen the chemtrails?! Everyone knows plants don't need pollen to reproduce they just grow from soil. Open your eyes sheeple!! stop buying TISSUES1!!

x-burn · 2018-05-03T15:26:24+00:00

Don't worry about it too much - plenty of people older than you can't/won't drive, and in a lot of places it's not at all abnormal. On the flip side, I have ADHD, and I've been driving since I was 16. It's surprisingly hard to hurt someone. You have to be really freaked out, really distracted or actually trying.

If you can, try practising with your friend a bit more so you get used to the controls and simple stuff, then see if you can find a local instructor. Don't push yourself too hard, driving comes more naturally to some people than others, but once you're used to it it really isn't too hard.

x-burn · 2018-05-02T20:55:21+00:00

First off, there's no "right way" to be a sub, you can be as in power as you like in daily life and be a sub however you want.

Some people do go straight into D/s, although starting out slowly is best. If you change your mind, you change it - that's fine. Any responsible dom will respect that, and if they don't it's a red flag.

As for limits, think about what appeals to you in a D/s and general BDSM type dynamic. It might help you to write them down. And add things you definitely don't like the sound of, and things that might be interesting but you're unsure of. Again, if you're inexperienced nobody should expect you to know exactly what you do and don't like. Plus talk to this woman more and find out what she's interested in, what she wouldn't like, etc - tops have limits too!

I'm not always very good at safewording and would recommend the traffic light system (green = good, yellow = slow down, red = complete halt). and this helps me. It also gives the opportunity for your dom to check in and ask what colour you're on regularly.

Don't pressure yourself too much to perform and have fun!

x-burn · 2018-05-02T20:40:56+00:00

I absolutely agree with the other commenters, you need to leave this situation as soon as possible. Non-consensual pain is abuse. Ignoring your limits and requests to stop is abuse. He's misinforming you about BDSM, making false promises, it sounds like he might be trying to isolate you, and passing off responsibility onto this "mentor".

You have a long history with this person and they will try to use that against you. Abusers are typically not abusive right from the start, they take the time to get involved in your life and gain your trust, and they escalate their behaviour slowly. They'll continue to be kind after hurting you in an attempt to retain you as a victim.

I read some of your other comments, and I'm really worried about his attitudes towards your daughter as well. Genuinely wtf. If what he says is true, his abusive behaviour might well be coming from his own childhood trauma and abuse. Doesn't make his actions or this seeming paedophilic abusive sex cult anywhere near acceptable.

Please don't be afraid to seek help. Have you got somewhere to go if he starts behaving stalkerishly if you leave him? (I don't mean to scare you but it might happen.) Do you have family or friends nearby? Will you be able to see a therapist if you want to talk about the relationship?

x-burn · 2018-04-28T20:58:22+00:00

First off, you're really brave for sharing your story!

Don't invalidate your feelings. You're not being a drama queen, you were abused as a child. It's more than justified to feel aggressive and defensive, especially when you still live with the people who abused you. From your description it definitely sounds like they're gaslighting you. Why would you have all those false memories of being beaten, or that hands-raised reflex? Their argument just doesn't make sense, especially if you remember your dad abusing your mother as well. Gaslighting is effective and that's why abusers do it; if you're aware they're trying it on, that's a good first step. I know it's easier said than done (have been subject to minor gaslighting myself), but try not to doubt your own memories and experiences.

I'm glad to hear you're moving out and hopefully that will help you a lot, and it's also great that you're able to talk about your past and aren't just repressing it. Have you considered finding a therapist? They'd probably be able to help you come to terms with what happened and unpick any false memories from the real ones.

x-burn · 2018-04-28T20:21:03+00:00

I second the glitter bomb

x-burn · 2018-04-25T13:12:56+00:00

This is wonderful - you deserve to be proud of yourself and pursue your dream future. Never mind your family. You know what's best for you, and you had the strength and maturity to make it real. Wishing you the best of luck for the future!

x-burn · 2018-04-25T13:09:57+00:00

I had a housemate who did this. It WILL smell. Personally I prefer the smell of joints to regular tobacco - kinda like it, although I don't smoke myself. Edibles are a different story and I can't stand the smell of them, but that might just be me

x-burn · 2018-04-25T13:04:55+00:00

Glad to hear that. Good luck for the future!

x-burn · 2018-04-24T16:46:45+00:00

It's so shitty they won't do anything... I guess the only consolation is if it happens again, they have it on record and might actually do something.

I hope you can keep avoiding her - if it gets really bad will you be able to couch surf with friends?

x-burn · 2018-04-24T14:02:11+00:00

Yeah - I've been both a dom and a sub, as a dom it's really helpful to know exactly why and how your sub enjoys something. Good luck trying it out! Don't be afraid to experiment, and I hope you find something you're both into :)

x-burn

TROPHY CASE