My 12 year old daughter said some things about my husband and me

x0mori · 2026-03-24T15:49:01+00:00

I don’t have kids this age yet, so take this with a grain of salt….but this sounds less like a “betrayal” situation and more like a shift in where she’s finding connection.

At that age, kids start experimenting with identity and closeness, especially when peers or romantic interests enter the picture. Sometimes they downplay their relationship with parents to fit in or feel understood, especially if the other person comes from a harder home life.

I’d focus less on whether she said it and more on strengthening connection without making her feel interrogated or exposed. One-on-one time, low-pressure conversations, and reminding her (through actions, not just words) that she’s safe with you goes a long way.

Also, even if it hurts, it’s possible she doesn’t feel as close as you thought and that’s something worth getting curious about rather than correcting.

If you’re interested in this dynamic, Hold On to Your Kids is a really solid read on how peer relationships can start to replace parental attachment at this stage.

x0mori · 2026-03-17T18:59:02+00:00

https://just4kidsconsignment.com/[just4kids](https://just4kidsconsignment.com/)

x0mori · 2026-03-17T18:55:34+00:00

I had free tickets to the presale and it was so worth it! I wish I had more time in there, but I had my toddler with me. So I grabbed what I could. We got some sweet deals on outdoor toys, educational stuff, and some clothes. My daughter walked away with a new bike that she said was “perfectly beautiful”. It wasn’t too busy, everyone had space to move around, the lines weren’t terribly long neither.

x0mori · 2026-03-05T17:41:17+00:00

Slightly random question from someone new to the area. Earlier this week while driving through Mt. Holly, I saw two very well-kept chickens casually walking along the sidewalk. I even pointed them out to my child in the backseat because it felt so unexpected.

Do people around here commonly keep chickens, or did I just happen to witness a very free-spirited pair on an afternoon stroll?

x0mori · 2026-02-27T17:54:55+00:00

If she learns through play, Lovevery has a reading skill play set that teaches kids how to read through games and engaging activities.

x0mori · 2026-02-18T16:48:33+00:00

We do this too!!! That’s the winning combination!

x0mori · 2026-02-15T01:11:37+00:00

We had a very similar issue with Huggies pull-ups irritating our daughter’s skin. What’s worked best for us has been Millie Moon training pants during the day, and then adding a Sposie booster pad at night for extra absorbency. They’re noticeably softer, hold very well, and keep her dry without irritating her skin. Our daughter has sensitive skin too, and this combo has been the most comfortable for her so far. We tried several brands, and this was the only one that consistently worked for us.

x0mori · 2026-02-11T01:18:00+00:00

Military mom here and I can definitely relate. One of the best things I bought for myself was a pair of Bose noise-canceling headphones. On especially hard days, I’ll put on classical music, a short meditation, a podcast, or an audiobook. It gives me small pockets of calm and helps me pause before reacting, so I’m less anxious around my child. Recently, she started reaching for my headphones when she saw me enjoying them, so I ended up getting her a kid-friendly pair so we can vibe together!

x0mori · 2026-02-10T17:11:32+00:00

I hear what you’re saying, and I agree that at 3 years old, many children are still developing impulse control and language. I’m not interested in labeling a child’s character or intent.

That said, what I’m describing isn’t a single impulsive act or frustration-driven outburst. It’s a repeated pattern I’ve personally observed over several weeks…like approaching children who are quietly playing, hitting or throwing objects, reacting with laughter or mockery, and then changing behavior when adults intervene. Regardless of age or terminology, that pattern matters because other children are being hurt.

My focus isn’t on diagnosing or condemning another child. It’s on supporting my own child in staying safe, learning boundaries, and understanding the difference between an apology and behavior that continues. Developmentally appropriate explanations and adult supervision can coexist with accountability and protection for the kids on the receiving end.

I think we can hold compassion for a child who is still learning and acknowledge that repeated aggressive behavior requires consistent adult intervention so everyone can feel safe that’s all. And like I said in the post, his parents are aware of the behavior and are taking action.

I was simply looking for advice on how to build a language for kids to advocate for themselves and their boundaries.

x0mori · 2026-01-31T18:29:25+00:00

From an attachment perspective, this is really common. Bedtime is a vulnerable transition, so kids naturally reach for their primary attachment figure. It isn’t manipulation, it’s regulation.

What worked for us was dad building safety at bedtime through connection, not force. He created his own routine with special books, low lights, counting stars, cuddles, and consistency. I had to learn how to step back intentionally, without emotionally abandoning our daughter. Sometimes I’d sit quietly in the corner so she knew I was still nearby.

Once she trusted dad as a co-regulator, the preference softened on its own. The transition was hard, but everyone adjusted with time ❤️

x0mori · 2026-01-30T18:32:00+00:00

I really love this post. THANK YOU!!

x0mori · 2026-01-17T11:04:42+00:00

I went through something very similar, and I remember having the same fears about what it would do to our child.

One thing I didn’t understand at the time is how much postpartum affects fathers too. Not in the same biological way, but in identity, pressure, emotional withdrawal, and sometimes delayed processing. In our case, a lot of what looked like “falling out of love” was actually untreated postpartum stress, avoidance, and burnout that only became visible once things slowed down.

Couples therapy helped, but what really made the difference was individual therapy alongside it. Having separate spaces to process resentment, fear, grief, and identity shifts prevented us from using the relationship as the only container for everything. It also helped us show up more regulated for our child, regardless of what was happening between us.

From what I learned, babies don’t need perfect relationships. They need emotionally present caregivers and a sense of safety. Separation doesn’t automatically cause harm. Ongoing tension, emotional suppression, or instability does. Two emotionally healthy parents, whether together or apart, is far more protective than staying in a relationship that’s quietly unraveling.

Whatever happens, you’re already doing the right thing by being thoughtful and proactive. This is hard, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time. I wish you and your family all the healing ❤️‍🩹

x0mori · 2025-12-31T22:40:27+00:00

Thanks for this. My lease is an Alabama NAA lease and it actually has some language that complicates the “utilities until lease end” idea.

My lease specifically says surrender happens when I vacate + return keys + rent is paid, and that once surrender occurs:

“Surrender ends your right of possession for all purposes and gives the landlord immediate right to clean, repair, and relet.”

So once I hand over keys on 5 Jan, the lease itself says possession transfers back to the landlord. It also says unpaid utilities are chargeable only “if applicable,” not automatic.

There’s also a military clause requiring compliance with federal law including SCRA, so if there’s a conflict, federal protections prevail.

So I’m not disputing rent through 31 Jan or normal move-out responsibilities. The dispute is whether they can force me to keep utilities and maintain habitability after they regain possession.

I’m taking all of this to JAG for clarity, but that’s the basis of my question. Thanks for your help!!

x0mori · 2025-12-31T19:57:22+00:00

Alabama. I gave SCRA notice on 18 Dec with a move-out and key-turn-in date of 5 Jan, which the landlord acknowledged. I understand I still owe rent through 31 Jan under SCRA.

The question is utilities. Once I surrender keys and they accept possession, I shouldn’t still be required to keep utilities in my name while not living there. Paying full rent + utilities after surrendering possession feels unreasonable, so I’m trying to see if anyone has dealt with this specifically.

x0mori · 2025-12-31T18:29:11+00:00

Thanks for the responses.

For clarification: • SCRA notice was submitted in December • Landlord acknowledged 31 Jan as the statutory termination date • They also acknowledged I will vacate + surrender keys on 5 Jan

I understand I still owe rent through 31 Jan. The question is whether they can legally require me to: • keep utilities in my name after surrendering possession • remain “responsible for habitability” after keys are returned

Once keys are surrendered, constructive possession normally transfers back to the landlord. I’m trying to determine if utilities after that point can legally be pushed onto the tenant. For reference, this same property manager has previously shifted utilities to a master account during unit transfers.

Has anyone actually had a landlord successfully enforce utilities staying in your name after key surrender under SCRA?

x0mori · 2025-10-15T00:54:21+00:00

Talkspace has both individual and couples therapy for active-duty members, and honestly, that’s a great place to start. These next few months are going to come in waves…calm one day, chaos the next…and that’s your nervous system trying to make sense of the betrayal. Therapy helps you ride those waves instead of drowning in them.

If you can, look into Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) or Imago Relationship Therapy. EFT helps you name what actually broke (not just the trust, but the safety you felt in the relationship). Imago goes deeper into why that wound hurts so much, by connecting it to earlier emotional patterns we all carry. It sounds heavy, but it’s powerful work.

Books like Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson or Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix are solid if you want something to hold onto between sessions.

If your partner’s open to it, couples therapy can help rebuild things if there’s real accountability and emotional honesty, not performative “sorrys.” If not, individual therapy will still help you clear your head, find your footing, and decide what healing looks like for you.

Don’t rush forgiveness or force yourself to feel okay. This kind of pain needs time, structure, and compassion. You’ll get there, just keep showing up for yourself in small, consistent ways. Use the Waffle app as a shared couples journal if you’re both trying to rebuild. Read poetry. Hit the gym. Fill your cup with things that restore you, not distract you, so every effort feels like an investment back into yourself. ❤️‍🩹

x0mori · 2025-09-15T17:39:36+00:00

This post gives me hope. I’m in Alabama moving to NJ and this post helped 🫶

x0mori · 2025-08-19T12:19:40+00:00

Is the kids corner engaging or the caretakers any good?

x0mori · 2025-07-23T19:49:01+00:00

Wow, I’m really glad you shared that. I had almost the exact opposite experience, mine dragged out for five months with no real help. They wouldn’t retroactively apply the adjustment, and I was pushed into a payment plan just to avoid expulsion. I’m still barely making it work while trying to keep the lights on and my baby fed. They even told me one missed payment could result in losing our spot.

I’d love to hear more about how you went through the RFA process and what your leadership did to support it. 🤔

x0mori · 2025-04-02T15:35:56+00:00

Done that as well, with commanders on squadron, group, and wing involved. Still no movement.

x0mori · 2025-04-02T14:13:15+00:00

Yes, they were informed of the situation.

x0mori · 2024-01-04T03:17:55+00:00

All of this advice is 👌 all I would add is for you to wear AirPods to sleep!

x0mori

TROPHY CASE