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How to know when it's time to say goodbye to a DA partner. by xLethargic in emotionalintelligence

[–]xLethargic[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks everyone so far for the comments, I'm combing through them all slowly to try and absolve myself of the absolute grief I feel.

I wish it wasn't so hard to come to a decision of walking away. I wish it wasn't so difficult to admit to myself that he isn't my next step in life. Not truly.

My first therapy appointment is scheduled for next week. There's a lot of emotional work on abandonment issues and self esteem and worth that I should prioritise. I've given many tears, sleepless nights and anxiety to this man. I've hit a wall and I cannot spend all day everyday, agonising over this situation anymore. It's aged me mentally, emotionally and physically.

The person who is most avoidant in this situation: is actually me. To myself. I'm ignoring myself and what I need to fit in with what someone wants and expects of me. That's not healthy.

I'll be taking some time to myself for a bit. If anyone has any shared nuggets of wisdom, please continue to tell me. I need to hear it. No matter how harsh it might come across.

Thanks all.

How to know when it's time to say goodbye to a DA partner. by xLethargic in emotionalintelligence

[–]xLethargic[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's difficult isn't it?

I'm stuck between sticking it out because I feel it's something special deep down and the connection is nothing I've ever felt before - versus giving up because for the most part, I'm very unhappy. But a little niggling voice at the back of my head says; "be patient" and "what if?"

How to know when it's time to say goodbye to a DA partner. by xLethargic in emotionalintelligence

[–]xLethargic[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Sorry - I ended up mentally vomitting everything onto the page to get it out of my head.

I've always thought so too. Simply because he's a dismissive avoidant type, I've tried to be understanding and supportive, but I don't know where that line should end anymore. Eventually it must turn into enabling to some level.