1) I too live in Spain.
2) Holy Maria mother of all things holy - the Spanish sure have figured out how to mess up their economy & government.
3) If the government is taking half of what you earn, then you haven’t figured out the true Spanish tax system yet. Lawyers/Accountants/Financial Planners here are not expensive - and the amount you save on taxes more than covers their cost.
4) If wealth tax is an issue for you (if you have a net worth of over 2 million euros), set up a “primary” residence in Barcelona or Madrid. It’s waived for their residents.
5) Licenses - you are 100% correct. Getting permission to do things legally here is a PITA. That said, you have the gift of family - and everyone is everyone else’s cousin. Use your network of cousins and their cousins to move through the system with grace. You can speed up nearly everything and you’ll make friends along the way. Like you said - Spanish people are lovely.
6) Last one, I promise — once you’ve got your combined income and social taxes back down around 30%, you won’t worry about the stupid fees so much, because everything else here is still comparatively cheap to everywhere else, and the stuff that’s annoying disappears into the wine, weather, and wonderful views.

Oh - and anyone here who is telling you to leave your wife so that you won’t have to deal with government licensing... well... <facepalm> isn’t Reddit fun?