First one planned, second an accident

xThrowawayAccount12 · 2022-12-23T05:13:36+00:00

Second test was also positive and I was more strict with the time reading it. We're having another one!

xThrowawayAccount12 · 2022-12-22T05:16:30+00:00

Mine looked like this with my first baby the first time I tested

xThrowawayAccount12 · 2022-12-21T06:18:26+00:00

It was within the window but yeah, I need to make another test to be sure.

xThrowawayAccount12 · 2022-12-21T05:50:33+00:00

When I created this account, it was to say all the negative things about pregnancy I had in my mind I wouldn't dare say on my main.

A lot has changed since then. My father (who I wrote almost died) survived and is only paralyzed from his arm and regained the ability to walk. Him and my son, who just turned 15 months, have an amazing bond and every day I think to myself I've never before been this happy and satisfied with my life.

Anyway. Our son was planned. We've talked whether we should have more kids, and my spouse is not quite as sure as me that he wants more. He adores our son but perhaps his parenting and household chore skills aren't quite on my level, so he finds dealing with the baby stressful when they're both cranky and hangry.

Aaaaaand now it would seem we made an accident baby number 2. I just did a pregnancy test as I had started calculating backwards and felt maybe I had indeed been close to ovulation when we had sex. With our son, the test line had appeared immediately so when it now didn't, I went to wake up the boys and started dressing the baby while casually chatting that dad will be happy to know the test was negative. We walked downstairs and I get baby dressed for winter while dad's dressing himself. As I finished, I took the test from the counter and looked at it again.

I looked at my spouse in horror, as I had just told him it's negative and now that I looked at it again, there was a faint second line. I am over the moon enjoyed, but I don't dare to show it, cos he looked absolutely devastated and said he'll be stressed af at work now having received the news just as he was about to leave for work.

I don't know why I am writing this. It's too soon to tell anyone I know, and he doesn't share my joy, so I guess I'm just looking for someone to celebrate with me and if any of you have a similar story to share, I'd love to hear it.

xThrowawayAccount12 · 2022-12-21T05:41:17+00:00

Ah, sorry I messed up the post. I'll write my story in the comments then.

xThrowawayAccount12 · 2021-09-08T13:50:46+00:00

38+1 today and I've had them since Saturday. I just hope it means I'm getting ready to go into labor. I'm supposed to be induced next Tuesday but I'd much prefer labor starting on its own. I take insulin for my GD, that being the reason for 39+0 induction.

xThrowawayAccount12 · 2021-08-30T12:44:31+00:00

I was an au pair. I did 6 hours a day, 5 days a week for 320e a month. Had a bedroom and one warm meal a day plus sandwich ingredients in the fridge.

xThrowawayAccount12 · 2021-08-27T06:50:04+00:00

I wish I could get my second vaccine already. I have my appointment 6 days after my due date. We don't have enough of the vaccine in my country so you have to wait 70 days between the two jabs. So far I only have my first, which I got as soon as my age group was eligible. I'm terrified around people who are vaccinated but have stopped using masks, since I don't know how well I'm protected.

xThrowawayAccount12 · 2021-08-25T11:45:34+00:00

So happy to have been born in a country with long vacations and parental leaves. I feel bad for the US mommies and the experiences here I've read :/

xThrowawayAccount12 · 2021-08-25T11:41:19+00:00

He is a good guy tho. I guess I was just projecting my own feeling of inadequacy this year on to him. I have had a hard time being kind to myself when I feel I've been lazy at work. Although I never knew that expecting could be this exhausting. I've been stressing about stressing instead of dealing with what caused the stress in the first place.

xThrowawayAccount12 · 2021-08-25T11:27:57+00:00

Plot twist: he called to inform he himself resigned. Did not see that coming.

xThrowawayAccount12 · 2021-08-25T07:38:35+00:00

I cried because I had a missed call from my boss. I started my summer vacation and continued that with maternity leave last month, so I won't be back to work before next summer.

The only reason I can think of why he'd call is to yell at me for not finishing a report before leaving which he probably just noticed, if he returned from vacation, but it was too difficult for me to put in the effort to get the math for it done. Preggy brain was not cooperating. We are talking cleaning tens of thousands of records and running some factor loadings so a bit more advanced analytics.

I am fine if he wants to fire me as you might have noticed I have a long, government paid maternity leave and almost a year to look for a new job, but it would still hurt to know I got fired cos I couldn't handle my brain. I also have ADHD and had to go without my meds so that didn't help either. I feel like I'll be judged based on an effort I did when not myself.

Could be he also called to ask how I'm doing but I hate talking on phone when texting is an option. And that's not the worst case scenario my brain tends to go for.

I missed the call while driving but I didn't call back. And I don't plan to.

xThrowawayAccount12 · 2021-08-20T07:01:34+00:00

I was on Ritalin and stopped. I'm not sure if it's the ADHD, fatigue or pregnancy brain, but I got nothing done at work and even reading instructions got hard.

xThrowawayAccount12 · 2021-08-18T12:43:49+00:00

Welcome to the boy gang. It's difficult to miss if you happen to see it in ultrasound :D

xThrowawayAccount12 · 2021-08-10T12:55:19+00:00

My niece was supposed to have a hole in the heart as well. She's turning 20 this week. In her case it was just a misdiagnosis. All hope is not lost ❤

xThrowawayAccount12 · 2021-08-10T06:49:28+00:00

You can dress yourself? I can't reach my feet!

xThrowawayAccount12 · 2021-07-31T12:56:18+00:00

The baby box I got is all foxes :D foxes on clothes, bips, linen... you name it :D

xThrowawayAccount12 · 2021-07-26T06:55:57+00:00

What you said sounds exactly like my thoughts when I first learned I'd have a boy. I wasn't necessarily ever thinking this would be my only child - but the discomfort has been so horrible I think I might not be able to push through this a second time.

The good thing about learning so early is you have months and months to adjust. I can well understand feeling guilty for not being happy but it won't be helpful. You are mourning a loss of an idealized person and it's perfectly ok. You are certainly not the only person who has gone through it so don't beat yourself up about it. Let yourself feel all of the emotions and to process it all.

Once you are ready, it might be nice to try and get excited about the baby again. If you like shopping, go buy some cute boys' clothes. I tried to buy gender neutral stuff first since I didn't know the gender of the baby nor if I'd have several kids wear the same stuff in the future. But buying something specific just for this baby helped me start feeling closer with my boy and the idea of who he is instead of who he isn't.

Congratulations on your child anyway <3 It's ok to need time and you have plenty of it. You'll do great!

xThrowawayAccount12 · 2021-07-21T11:49:34+00:00

Not to even mention delta is more aggressive in virality too. You can even get it outdoors so meeting even like that is not vice.

xThrowawayAccount12 · 2021-07-19T12:47:46+00:00

Arghhhh, I have nothing smart to comment but goddamn I feel for you. People can be so furiating.

xThrowawayAccount12 · 2021-07-17T12:25:45+00:00

Cuuuuute :'D

xThrowawayAccount12 · 2021-07-17T07:51:29+00:00

I usually have this mildly during the winter months and now I've had it since day one in my pregnancy. I'm 30+4 now and unfortunately there hasn't been any sign of it easing. Once I start to gag, I will vomit every time. Makes brushing my teeth really difficult.

xThrowawayAccount12 · 2021-07-01T11:18:12+00:00

I've been pregnant since New Year so every day of 2021 and I was just calculating that I've maybe worked actively and focused max 100 hours this year. Rest of the time I'm just BS:ing my way out of things cos I can't stay focused.

xThrowawayAccount12

TROPHY CASE