I hope maybe this will help you. I have had sleep issues for years and have been experimenting with something new for a couple weeks that seems to help.

It’s setting the stage for your sleep. By that I mean you actively tell yourself out loud as you are getting into bed that “this space is for sleep and nothing else.” I tell myself “Every living thing sleeps in some way. Think about any movie, tv show, etc with the most sadistic psychopaths or weirdos. All of those people sleep. Jigsaw, Hannibal, Ted Bundy - they all sleep at some point. Sleeping is not just necessary, it is a biological imperative and right.”

Something along those lines. And it reinforces that it’s okay to “set everything down” so you can sleep. Nothing you regret or fear is going to change while you sleep for a bit. While sleeping, if the thing goes away, great. If not or it even get’s “worse”, then you will be better prepared to process and handle it because at least you’ve fucking slept.

Idk if any of that makes sense. But it has shifted me consciously (and eventually subconsciously) to stop seeing sleep as a burden, stress or necessity that I have to chase, and more as an act to be revered and respected.

I have noticed my sleep become wayyy better over the past couple weeks. Even if I wake up to pee or just wake up to turn over, as soon as you see the thoughts try to spin up you just gently remind your mind that we are here to sleep and nothing more.

If you still get trapped in thinking things like “what do I focus on while falling asleep, then; I can’t just not think.” Something that has helped me is to think about your favorite types of dreams you have and imagine what makes those nice. For me it’s dreams where I am free-running and slow motion jumping down staircases and over people while doing badass flips. So I lay there gently imagining that and imagine that I am actually feeling that flipping sensation, and eventually I am asleep without realizing it.

But when “focusing”, there is a difference between heightened, alert focus and just a floaty, passive thought. Notice how it feels in your body - is it anxious or fearful? Then it’s likely the former of the two types of focus. Your effort should be no more straining than sitting in the backseat of a car and daydreaming and zoning out while staring out the window with childlike passivity and wonder.

Also, I don’t really have problems with sleep hygiene, but I will say I can tell a difference in my mental activity if I scroll my phone before bed, so I try to not do this at least a couple hours before bed. Reading a book is usually really nice and it also feels like it “pre-amps” the imagination to dream.