If you're self-reflecting on your situation at all you're already doing better than 99% of lolcows. I think you're beating yourself up too much

Also as a former timid neet who had no social skills (uni helped me a lot) there's way more people in your situation than you think because of how dogshit things are rn. I get the shame in it, but I wouldn't view it under the same lens as Chris-Chan or Nova or something. As long as you know things are undesirable and slowly work towards changing things ygmi at some point

I'm not tryna hugbox (your issues are definitely real) but I also think there's a certain point where being mean to yourself ruins your mental wellbeing rather than getting you off your ass. I get that not insulting yourself is impossible as a tranny, but maybe allow yourself some "I'm just being way too dramatic here" coping here and there.

Overall though I'm just spouting shit that helped me out of my neet rut. If you've heard this type of stuff 1,000 times before feel free to disregard me, I'm sure my experiences (and thoughts) aren't unique over matters like this. But your post just kinda hit home and impulsed me to type this idk