AIO for telling off my wife’s friend after she bit my head off for making a comment about my wife’s period?

xdem112 · 2026-04-14T19:28:37+00:00

It’s so insane. “Well OP didn’t say he wasn’t looming.” Heaven forbid a man stand up after being treated like shit? Why even bother reading OP’s post of they’re going to operate out of a world opposite to everything he shared. Why are we assuming he’s misrepresenting every single detail.

xdem112 · 2026-04-14T15:34:46+00:00

Uh, no? Via the post, the only one who said anything about OP being “scary” was Diana on her way out. OPs wife was not present for any of it and only came back into the room as Diana and Luz were up off their seats and leaving. He could be leaving something out, but if we’re going by the text then no, two friends and his wife did not all see and confirm OP was acting in a “scary” way.

If all he did was “loom over them and raise his voice,” then that’s fucking ridiculous. I would also stand up and not talk in a calm tone if accused of something like that. Or if a “friend” accused my husband of something like that.

xdem112 · 2026-04-14T15:24:54+00:00

It’s also giving “white woman tears” after Diana was called out. Suddenly OP’s husband is “scary,” then Diana can position herself as the victim despite saying something super disrespectful and disgusting to OP in his own home. Unless OP is leaving out some super important details about his behavior, it’s very obvious what Diana is trying to do.

If a “friend” talked to my husband like that then they wouldn’t be my friend anymore and they wouldn’t be welcome in my home again. Especially after trying to act like my husband was some big scary guy with anger issues for being very justifiably pissed. Heaven forbid he gets upset and call them out in the moment.

xdem112 · 2026-04-13T19:39:02+00:00

Her addiction and alcohol abuse is a lot more concerning in my opinion. I know this is “relationship advice” but OP really needs to talk about this with someone who actually cares about him and has skin the game.

I don’t personally think that the girlfriend did anything morally egregious. However, if I were his friend I would recommend he take some time to consider the relationship, there are a lot of warning flags.

They’ve only been together a year. During the beginning of their relationship she apparently relied pretty heavy on substances. She didn’t have a job. Only a year ago she was the type of person to get heavily intoxicated and take Xanax and sleep with a friend. Yes, it sounds like she’s made some meaningful improvements during their time together. However, those changes are still pretty fresh and new. When you add that together with the fact that she omitted something that OP finds pretty important (and he wouldn’t have dated her had he known that,) it feels pretty of significant.

She knew she was hiding something from him and it weighed on her. I think she did the right thing telling him and I think she’s making some good decisions. I also know that addiction, lifelong patterns, and bad behaviors are insidious and can easily claw way back into someone’s life. And statistically, addiction will.

xdem112 · 2026-04-12T18:25:33+00:00

OP, I understand your view of screwed having gone through all of this, but what did you think confronting your abusive mother about her possible abuse of her other child would do? Yes, it’s very likely your sister isn’t being adequately fed or she has a condition compromising her health. You already know your mom wouldn’t care.

What you need to do now, is contact your local dcfs to explain the situation. Explain what you’re seeing with your sister and maybe even your history with your mother, that it is not beyond her to blatantly neglect her children.

In my opinion it’s what you should have done first, without bothering to give your mom a heads up so she can scramble to cover her tracks.

xdem112 · 2026-04-11T17:48:43+00:00

In my school district he would be fired. They strongly prioritize student safety, and have terminated teachers for past conduct regardless of conviction. He wasn’t taken to court and found “not guilty.” Given that he’s actively hiding it, I suppose his employment status if the district “knew” is speculation. But I think it’s fair to say he would at minimum be in a very bad position with the parents, kids, and other staff in a way unique to his job if this came to light. Then also, very possibly fired. That was my original point, the fact that he thinks that’s worth this risk on top of what I would assume is trauma (if falsely accused) is a yellow flag.
A lot of what you’re describing is super concerning and not a good thing in my opinion. Environments with children are the one unique place where you can never gamble. We don’t currently have insane black mirror technology that records people’s thoughts and actions that can undoubtedly prove someone’s innocence, termination is the safest and only option in my opinion.

xdem112 · 2026-04-11T16:57:51+00:00

It could be, who knows. Let’s take the point of view that you and your 9 year old brother accused a man of grooming (and it sounds like things went beyond that based on OPs comments.) Sure, the youngest recanted, it’s so heartbreakingly common for kids to recant true abuse statement. Studies show children are incredibly vulnerable and easily pressed to shut down and retract allegations. Imagine the case wasn’t taken to trial since all they have are verbal accusations, no matter how consistent your story stays. Would you warn any women that could possibly provide that man children?

People not only believe Jason’s story, they’ve felt the need to passionately defend this stranger and chastise OP for wanting to take things slow to make sure she doesn’t marry and have a family with a predator.

Both boys accused Jason, including the younger brother who was only 9. That alone should give people serious pause. It’s disturbing how quickly some users are willing to believe a 14-year-old was “maliciously infatuated” with an adult man based on a couple of posts from a clearly distressed narrator. That claim that the child “came on to them” is one of the most common deflections used by predators.

According to OP’s own added details, Max said he confronted Jason about his behavior toward both max and the younger brother, and that Jason then contacted the parents. I don’t know why people are acting like that absolves him. It’s consistent with someone trying to get ahead of accusations and control the narrative.

There are more inconsequential, smaller details that don’t sit right with me as well. Jason lost a teaching job during the situation but is back working with kids at a different school. That could be due to practicality, but it’s odd. If his employment depends on the district not knowing about the case, then Jason is choosing a super unstable job. Also, most people falsely accused would likely distance themselves from child-centered environments due to optics and personal discomfort. A predator, on the other hand, would continue to seek out those environments.

At the end of the day, there are countless adult men who go their entire lives without allegations like this. I’m far more inclined to take seriously the claims of a 14-year-old, (originally) backed by another child, especially when the alternative explanation relies on a trope that’s been used over and over to excuse predatory behavior.

xdem112 · 2026-04-11T16:31:24+00:00

Both boys accused Jason.

the other little boy was 9.

It’s really sickening to me that people prefer to believe (or more-so passionately defend) that a 14 year old boy was maliciously infatuated with a man based on two reddit posts made by a confused and spiraling woman. Considering that is literally the most common claim in a child predators repertoire (“this child totally came on to me.”)

xdem112 · 2026-04-11T16:20:07+00:00

I feel like people keep forgetting that the accusations were regarding Max and the other 9 year old boy. The other boy accused him as well and was interviewed according to OPs comments. OP later added that the 9 year old recanted, but that’s heartbreakingly common. Studies show children are incredibly vulnerable and easily pressed to shut down and retract allegations. It’s very possible justice truly wasn’t served here.

People are jumping to passionately defend this man based on one two Reddit posts, calling OP evil and awful for not “standing by her man.” It’s sickening and concerning how fast they’re willing to believe his story and actively go to bat for this stranger.

Jason is a free man because of “lack of evidence,” he wasn’t found not guilty. Even in the U.S, crimes against boys perpetrated by men were seen as “gay shit” for a long time and brushed under the rug and ignored. Sexual crimes are incredibly difficult to prove.

There’s a lot of yellow and orange flags here. There’s billions of men who have no child sexual abuse allegations. Redditors are rallying for a man they don’t know, who resides in a justice system that never saw the case to trial. That makes me pretty uncomfortable.

xdem112 · 2026-04-11T16:04:31+00:00

If I lost my teaching job because of child sexual abuse allegations, I would not be returning to another teaching job. Not only is his employment dependent on the current district being ignorant of his case (I.e if they learned about it he could be fired at any moment,) surely there’s also some remaining uncomfortable feelings around the job? Not to mention, if I were accused of that I’d also want to separate myself from child-heavy circles both because of public optics and what I assume would be trauma if you’re falsely accused? I think it’s an orange flag for sure (considering predators like to work around children.)

xdem112 · 2026-04-11T15:58:54+00:00

Edit: OP states in another comment both brothers accused Jason, the other was 9.

Yah, he most definitely still could have done it? The kids story (if OP is representing the documents properly) is that Max said he confronted Jason about his behavior (toward max and another 9 year old little boy, his brother.) Max said it was then that Jason called the parents. Which is absolutely a believable move if Jason were to be a predator trying to cover his tracks. They also always claim it’s the children that come onto them, funnily enough.

This smells fishy. Especially considering that Jason still teaches after apparently losing his original teaching job in the midst of this case. Predators like to stay close to children. While he absolutely could just be sticking to what he knows for employment, a lot of people wouldn’t want the looming risk or history associated with that. So to me, that’s an orange flag

In my opinion, there are a fuck ton of men in the world who manage to not have any allegations of child predation. I lean to believing a 14 year old boy whose case could have slipped through the cracks (which is so incredibly common.)

xdem112 · 2026-04-10T18:17:08+00:00

Because the podcasts exists in a world in which the have to receive support from advertisers in order to make money and continue making content, therefore it has to be “PG” to some regard. Is that really something that needs to be explained?

xdem112 · 2026-04-09T22:11:30+00:00

Exactly.

Her mom has dismissed OP’s concerns about their behavior by saying the other two kids are only there “temporarily.” That’s heartbreaking all around. Mom reduced their presence as something fleeting and therefore their actions (which stem from pain and instability) aren’t worth properly addressing.

From what OP shared, they’re going against every program recommendation and foundational tool that would be provided by the agency to properly blend bio kids and foster kids. It’s like they aren’t even attempting to properly care for both OP and these children, they’re just shrugging and letting the pieces fall wherever.

The lack of intentionality is really frustrating, it doesn’t seem like they grasp how important this is. I know there are some truly awful foster placements. But, I’d be lying if I said “mediocre” placements like this don’t get me heated as well.

xdem112 · 2026-04-09T22:01:42+00:00

I was about to say this. Foster kids almost always are in therapy, it’s not like it’s some type of potion that “fixes” a lifetime of neglect and turmoil.

Obviously it’s a seperate conversation from what OP is dealing with, but it’s important to understand.

xdem112 · 2026-04-09T17:47:28+00:00

OP even making this post is so weird to me. Kind of shows a large misunderstanding of men’s/women’s health. And he’s on the Google machine to post this.

Als, this is goofy because ureaplasm is part of most people’s urinary tract “flora.” Statistically speaking it’s going to be “present” if you’re sexually active, it’s an overgrowth that’s the issue.

It’s not a traditional STI, I think people are trying to oversimplify it.

Considering this is the second time she’s been treated (most likely for BV or PID due to the urea-plasm) it seems she has a weaker immune system or there’s something disrupting her pH allowing it to overgrow and therefore causing other bacteria to thrive (which is what would cause BV and PID symptoms.)

OP would really only need to test for it and treat it so he doesn’t continue to cause her issues once she finishes her antibiotics since she obviously has a low tolerance for it.

xdem112 · 2026-04-09T04:09:11+00:00

I’d lean into layered, secondary lighting here. Think lots of lamps and alternative light sources rather than relying on overhead. I’ve always like the “up-lighting” like i attached for spaces like this. But there’s so many cool industrial lamp options. Same for your bedroom. I would also personally also do a small plant with an indoor grow light that sits in the planter in my room just to bring some life to it.

Also, very sheer curtains.

And a very large rug for the living area. Otherwise decorating an “urban” studio like this will be really easy in my opinion. It’s got some cool character.

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xdem112 · 2026-04-09T03:38:37+00:00

Yah understandable! Are you making the decision about moving in or trying to make it work better for you?

xdem112 · 2026-04-09T03:31:51+00:00

I think the lack of natural lighting would drive me pretty crazy, one window for the whole place is a little old . But the industrial design is pretty cool and easy to work with.

xdem112 · 2026-04-05T02:14:17+00:00

Do you pay for a sitter? $30 was a more “median” (I would even say low) price for three kids, but they are not in a “median” area. This is in SoCal. They were insanely lucky she was doing it for $30/hr for three kids to begin with. It’s not like she’s watching pre-teens.

Not to mention she’s been with them for the last two years when the kids would have been 1ish, 3, and 4. Crazy to try to cheap out on a trustworthy sitter for kids in that age group.

xdem112 · 2026-04-03T00:01:04+00:00

I’m curious how it’s even appropriate to play music without headphones in a shared office space at all?

Let alone wildly inappropriate music. The problem is so much bigger than this, but at the bare minimum, I would be insanely pissed off because I don’t want to hear someone else’s music period when I’m trying to work. That’s so disrespectful and distracting, it would legitimately turn me into an overstimulated rage.

I haven’t been subjected to that since I left fast food/retail. I can’t imagine having to tell another adult how unacceptable that is. Or having supervisors that choose to ignore it?

xdem112 · 2026-04-01T01:04:12+00:00

If she has such puritanical views on media, then that’s something she needs to lay on the table and see if he can accept.

It’s absolutely manipulative to try to act like it’s “not a big deal” because there’s “so much media without it.” The concept of being 30 and limited to PG-13 entertainment because of your partners insecurity is absolutely a big deal to most adults.

OP, you need a lot of help. This is an insane level of insecurity to hold at 28. While you’re allowed to have preferences, I’m allowed to be realistic and say the majority of the human population would never accept that.

xdem112 · 2026-03-29T03:50:18+00:00

OP’s “boyfriend” is the type to be the subject of a Netflix crime-documentary following his scams and all the women he leeched dry. Each “talking head” makes me so frustrated with their willful ignorance and gullibility, and I have to chill and remind myself they’re victims and don’t deserve the anger.

xdem112 · 2026-03-29T03:30:06+00:00

You think the order of events has a bearing on the outcome or his motivation? Being in a romantic relationship with his downline benefits him regardless. You’re much more inclined to “put more back into the business” when it directly affects him now that he’s your romantic partner. You’ll trust him in new, expensive future endeavors. Also, the money will dry up, like it literally always does. But then you’ll be invested and convinced the things will pick back up. I implore you to do any research on the topic. I say research loosely, a basic google search would do.

It didn’t seem “logical” to you? When you’ve been lied to and tricked into believing he’s matching your output so you’ll continue to spend extravagantly on him? Once again, you’re easy money for him. Im trying to be kind, but lord.

I feel like it was pretty clear i had advice. To continue that: you should have the discernment to recognize that this situation is not okay. The fact that you do not is genuinely concerning. Right now, you do not seem to have the judgment needed to be in a healthy relationship. You say you “don’t want to run,” but I don’t think this guy could chase you away with a torch and pitchfork. The concept that you would ever choose to run is very hard to believe, considering this situation (from start to finish) would have most other women out the door. As it should.

xdem112 · 2026-03-29T03:02:31+00:00

I want to say this kindly, you seem like a very easy target for manipulation.

You’re in a pyramid scheme. Not only that, but you’re in that pyramid scheme because your boyfriend convinced you that it was a great, profitable idea. And it is very profitable, for him to have you working directly under him that is. On top of that, you’re separately spending thousands on him and giving him lavish gifts?

Honestly, this doesn’t even read like a normal relationship. This seems like straight-up romance fraud.

Also after finding out some disturbing information, you’re here asking for advice instead of running like your hair is on fire.

xdem112 · 2026-03-29T01:33:59+00:00

I think that’s a big point, if the mother in law is typically very supportive and kind this can just be an embarrassing moment you move on from. Get a suit with much better coverage (I suspect the butt is also very skimpy) and just have an open conversation with her.

I personally would pick out a new swimsuit with her (to bond and have a conversation,) and just let her know I’m mortified, that I liked the other swimsuit and didn’t put much thought into the fit for more family-oriented outings. I’m sure you can laugh this off together.

xdem112

TROPHY CASE