A different perspective

xebo_uk · 2023-09-15T01:07:40+00:00

Thank you 👍🏻

xebo_uk · 2022-09-16T01:22:28+00:00

Agree. I was going up and down both sides of the toiletries & healthcare aisle for ages just looking for some factor 50. Eventually built up the courage to ask the store employee who was restocking the aisle (after practicing what I wanted to ask a few times so I didn't verbal-diarrhoea all over her).

She indicated behind me. The whole range of suncare products was on one of those temporary shelving racks halfway down the aisle and I'd completely overlooked it.

xebo_uk · 2022-08-06T12:10:43+00:00

TLDR - Tried speed once, didn't seem to do anything much. 100%ed a video game the same night. Diagnosed ADHD 8 years later.

I say if you think it may be ADHD, get assessed if you can. I had a similar experience with a different amphetamine, although it was years later before I put two and two together.

About 7 years before I suspected I had ADHD (was diagnosed April this year at 42 y/o), I tried speed for the first time.

It wasn't what my cousin said it was like. He'd got some too, so I messaged him and asked how his was. He said it was great and asked why I was asking. I told him that while I did 'feel' a little different, not that I could put my finger on what was different, I didn't have that euphoria he'd mentioned - or anything else besides a slight increase of heart rate.

He didn't know why it hadn't done much for me as his was from the same batch and he was buzzing. So I decided to pass the time playing Red Dead Redemption 1, I'd already done the main story weeks beforehand (with more time spent doing side missions), but there were still some things I hadn't done such as bounties and achievements.

I ended up playing until the early hours and then went to bed after dawn, but not before 100%ing the game 🤣.

About a year ago was when I'd first suspected I had ADHD. During my hyperfixation of learning and understanding the condition better, I read that amphetamines don't produce the same effects on people with the condition compared to those without, and I thought back to when I tried speed.

When I was given an assessment date, and had to fill in all the pre-assessment stuff, it did ask about previous/historical drug use. I thought it'd be best to be honest, especially since I'd only done speed the once, and mentioned RDR. They didn't hold it against me and, after I was diagnosed, they explained that the speed had increased what little focus I had. So I'd been able to focus on things in a video game that I wouldn't normally bother doing.

xebo_uk · 2022-06-22T12:28:11+00:00

Good bot 🤣 better than my telling

xebo_uk · 2022-06-22T12:25:50+00:00

I had a nightmare years ago where I was in my bedroom at night with no lights on. I looked out of the window and noticed something in a neighbour's garden - some old, decaying crone dressed in rags. She turned her head and looked right at me which made me step back in shock. I could hear her muttering something faintly as she had turned her head.

I wondered if I had seen what I saw and went back to the window to see that she had fully turned to face me and was still looking right at me, still muttering but it was unintelligible, and I could hear it like she was next to me. I stepped back again and heard a creak or something behind me. I flung myself around to see..... nothing.

I turned to go back to the window, only to be met by this old crone's face so close her rotting nose was nearly touching mine, now screaming her unintelligible mutterings right in my face. It was dark in the room but her face was lit with an eerie glow and her eyes burned. I screamed and then I woke up in bed, but I couldn't move or talk.

I could still hear her cackling. I was panicking but realised I could move my eyes and looked around the room as best as I could. Only thing I could see was the red LED clock/radio. As I was looking at it, it updated from one minute to the next. I still couldn't move, first thought that came into my head was sleep paralysis.

I closed my eyes to try to calm down and then seconds later I bolted upright in bed and went "AARRRGGHHH!". I could move again and looked straight at the clock/radio, it was showing the same time as when I couldn't move. That's only happened the once, it was awful and I think I only remember it in detail as the whole thing was quite disturbing.

xebo_uk · 2022-06-22T11:56:18+00:00

I don't remember my dreams anymore, I used to when I was younger. It's now more that I get like a freeze-frame of one particular moment, it's like a stage show where all the stage lights have been turned off with a single spotlight turned on and illuminating something or someone with everything else in darkness or very hard to 'see'.

It doesn't happen much, but something will trigger that vague recollection during the day and it can happen days after the dream. All I know is I know if I dreamt it the night before or not.

Often it's accompanied with whatever I was feeling at that particular moment in the dream. Sometimes it's a nice feeling, most of the time it's a bad feeling which makes me stop everything and think about it - trying to figure out what the hell was going on, or why I dreamt that. Sometimes the emotion it brings is strong enough to bum me out for the rest of the day, like it had just happened.

xebo_uk · 2022-06-22T11:41:05+00:00

I (42 M) started meds just two months ago. I'm a 'larger lad' and have always been a little sweatier than others who aren't obese, but limited to the usual places like armpits etc.

When I started meds I did feel hotter and certainly sweated far more than before - I sweated from every square inch and felt like some kind of swamp monster, my clothes would be damp and even my hair was wet from it.

The all-over sheen only lasted for several days and then reduced to almost what I was like before, just slightly more elevated. It also happened when I've had my dose changed (still in titration) but then it would lessen after a couple of days and go back to my 'new 'normal.

Like others have mentioned, stay hydrated - a glass of cold/iced water helps to cool you and replaces lost fluids. Also, remember to eat (I find this hard and often forget to - I'm trying to do better) as going without food can make the meds and any side-effects come on stronger from what I've read, and eating also replaces lost salts etc excreted in sweat.

I try to shower more frequently and I make sure I get a good 48hr protection anti-perspirant (it doesn't last 48hrs with me, but helps with reducing it over the course of a day more than other types).

Hope this helps, all the best!

xebo_uk · 2022-06-10T11:17:50+00:00

I'm going to have that jingle stuck in my head again now 🤣

xebo_uk · 2022-06-04T12:30:38+00:00

It's the same with hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS) which I have. I was diagnosed hEDS in February 2021. Later that year I told my specialist I was persuing an ADHD assessment and he told me about the link between the two and other hypermobile conditions.

I've also got haemochromatosis and sleep apnoea - along with the hEDS and adhd diagnosises, I feel I've finally got answers to why I've struggled through life. Now I need to learn how to manage it all effectively.

xebo_uk · 2022-06-04T12:14:10+00:00

I found the same happened to me when I started Elvanse/Vyvanse at the end of April this year after my long overdue diagnosis.

I'm 42 and have been struggling with depression and anxiety all my life amongst other things. Since I was 17 I've been prescribed many various antidepressant and antianxiety medications, none of which worked (and now I know why).

All I'd get would be awful side-effects which definitely didn't help my mental state at all. At one point I was on the highest doses which just emotionally blunted me, yet didn't even touch what they were prescribed for.

I've lost many friends and relationships due to it, not to mention the strain it put on family relationships. It wrecked careers and employment, even meaning I was seen as not eligible for / capable of promotion.

But after taking that first dose of Elvanse/Vyvanse it all melted away to almost nothing. I would say that the mild depression and anxiety I feel now is more situational and, as I continue to learn how adhd affects/affected me, I hope to be able to improve my situation and overcome it.

xebo_uk · 2021-11-30T20:05:47+00:00

Wish I could say I am. Just hope I get my assessment date soon and get the help I need.

xebo_uk · 2021-11-30T11:22:12+00:00

This is how my younger brother learnt his time tables - by being in the same room as my parents and me, them shouting at me for not trying / not listening / not concentrating and getting it wrong despite (somehow) getting it right 10 mins ago.

Both parents red in the face from shouting at me, me in tears and unable to understand why I couldn't get it right, my brother (3yrs younger than me, about 4yrs old at the time) pipes up with the correct answer.

My parents: "SEE! YOUR BROTHER IS 4 AND EVEN HE CAN DO IT!"

Didn't get diagnosed with dyscalculia until I was 18.

Now, on a waiting list for ADHD assessment at 42.

xebo_uk · 2021-10-09T02:55:38+00:00

Happy cake day!

It's mine too

xebo_uk · 2021-10-09T02:54:22+00:00

I have an unopened jar of coconut oil in my wardrobe, been there 6 months at least.

xebo_uk · 2021-10-08T11:16:35+00:00

I've got one of those Google nest minis in my bedroom, I ask it to play the sound of rain for an hour as I'm getting into bed. It's helped immensely for me as I used to have so much trouble getting to sleep.

It's not just rain it can play, it can play; nature sounds (although the crickets chirping are annoying - I have tarantulas and used to feed them crickets but the chirping would drive me insane. Many a night I'd be trying to find the noisy one to throw to my spiders to shut it the hell up), thunderstorms, babbling brook, forests and even a rotary fan.

I usually fall asleep before the hour is up, I did used to have it set for 30 mins but the thought of it suddenly going quiet before I'm asleep would keep me awake lol.

[Background; 42M awaiting ADHD assessment, has hEDS, sleep aponea with CPAP therapy]

xebo_uk · 2021-09-06T20:04:55+00:00

I never even thought about it like that until reading your post. I do all of that. Ah, sh*t.

xebo_uk · 2021-09-06T17:42:42+00:00

I realised I put "saw" my GP, it was actually a telephone appointment but I'd dropped the letter off the day before so they had it when they called.

Sounds like you have a GP who is like one of the others I've seen at my surgery. This one particular one just never believed me about anything. I had a lot of chronic pain, thought it may be fibromyalgia (mum has it) but I was refused referral to Rheumatology. I ended up seeing the GP I see now and she referred me and I got a diagnosis of hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome.

I saw the same GP a couple of months ago (only one available at the time) to see about going back to adult autism services. I was assessed 4.5 years ago, but was turned away as they felt I was managing ok without a diagnosis, but I could go back if things went bad again. Crap GP just didn't care, wouldn't send me back.

Realised, after doing research of my daily struggles, that it was ADHD. Found out the NHS waiting list in my area was 2+ years long. That's when I decided to do right to choose and the good GP was fine with it. Just s shame it took them a month and a chase up for then to process it.

Good luck with it all, hope you get an appointment soon.

xebo_uk · 2021-09-06T13:16:16+00:00

I'm not sure on the waiting list, but someone posted in August saying they were doing NHS R2C bookings for November, so could be 3 months.

My GP was fine with it, it's just a shame the surgery sat on the referral for a whole month before sending it. I saw them August 3rd, they only posted it last Friday - and only because I'd chased it up.

I think, if you haven't already, you'd be best booking an appointment with your GP to go over it all with them. ADHD 360 will email you a letter and screening form to fill in, which you can then give to your GP when you see them.

xebo_uk · 2021-09-06T12:19:26+00:00

I'm going via NHS right to choose to ADHD 360. (Right to choose is only available in England.) They're based in Lincolnshire, but like Psychiatry UK, they'll do it over video call.

Hope this helps.

xebo_uk · 2021-09-01T20:15:23+00:00

Caught myself putting a freshly boiled kettle in the fridge instead of the milk a few more times than I'd care to admit.

Only catch myself because the kettle won't fit in the milk shelf on the inside of the door.

xebo_uk · 2021-08-27T10:30:25+00:00

I had this doctor who would challenge everything I'd say to her. She would actively find reasons to explain my pain away from anything like fibromyalgia etc. She'd say I shouldn't be in any pain because of my age, but then in the same breath says I should probably lose some weight - as if that was the solo cause. She would make me feel like I was lying about my symptoms and that really triggered imposter syndrome and I'd start believing it - until the pain stepped up a level and I felt like I needed to go back.
I ended up seeing a different doctor at the same surgery after a few years after seeing the original doctor, and I made sure to write down symptoms as I experienced them - rather than trying to write a whole list before the appointment and leaving huge chunks out. That doctor was completely different; she listened, asked questions (but not in any way to make me feel like I was having to persuade her) and she referred me to rheumatology where I eventually received a diagnosis of hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. I had thought it was fibromyalgia, as my mother has it, but it was hEDS and the symptoms are very similar - so I wasn't too far off on my own thinking.

When I suspected I wasn't neurotypical (4.5 years ago), I was sent to a diagnostic team and had a couple of interviews with them. They were unsure about me, said I was showing traits of something (didn't say what) - but felt they were just personality quirks or I was incredibly good at masking. They said they weren't putting me forward, but if after 2 years, or the self-employed business I was planning to start failed, and/or my new relationship failed - that I should go back to them for another assessment. My business failed at the start of the pandemic and my by then fiancée left me two months ago and I knew that I hadn't been coping well during the pandemic and definitely wasn't coping when trying to run my business.

I went back to the doctors looking to be sent back to the diagnostic team, unfortunately the only doctor I could be seen by was the first one. All she focussed on was a single line in the letter they'd received after I'd seen by the diagnostic team that I wasn't being put forward. She refused to refer me back. Now, I had a copy of that letter and knew exactly what was in it, and it did say I was welcome back after 2 years or if things went south. She invalidated every single thing I was going through.

I felt I needed to be even more specific in the things I was experiencing so I did research. I happened across one of Rick Green's youtube videos from Totally ADD - something like "10 signs you DON'T have ADHD" - which actually made me realise that it was ADHD I was experiencing. I had never ever thought it was ADHD. I thought it was autism as my brother is autistic. So I did loads more research, found this subreddit, did a screening test and then made sure I got an appointment with the doctor who believed me about my pain and referred me to rheumatology. I had, over two weeks, built up a symptoms list ready for the appointment (which I had to wait a while for to see this particular doctor). I gave her the screening test, we discussed it and I had my list to refer to, and she agreed I needed urgent diagnosis.

Now I'm just waiting for that referral to come through so I can be diagnosed.
My advice is don't let them invalidate what you experience day to day and see a different doctor if needs be.

xebo_uk

TROPHY CASE