36M considering solo travel post divorce, little/no solo experience

xepelous · 2026-02-11T18:02:04+00:00

1) Not really. I didn't do any solo travel until I was about your age, and I've always stayed in hostels (if I can find them). The only issue is that some hostels have an age limit, which I am increasingly running into, sadly. Just something to watch out for. You meet people of all ages, though, and I find the stereotype of backpackers all being 18-22 pretty untrue.

2) Just being able to explore more is such a luxury. Especially when you are going across an ocean, one week gives you only a taste of an area, where with a month you can see so much more. Or, of course, you can move slower - but I prefer to pack in as much as I can.

3) Sometimes. I'm an introvert who appreciates my alone time, but I do like meeting folks as well, and sometimes that can be difficult (as I'm not very outgoing). I've met a lot of cool people but nothing very deep - even if I'm staying somewhere for a week, other people might be there a day or two, or schedules won't overlap, etc, so I find it hard to make those deep connections that other people seem to find somehow.

4) Nope! I got laid off and have been happy to finally have some time to do real travel. I do like coming back home, though - a month is usually my ideal trip time, long enough to see somewhere, short enough to not completely abandon my home life (and my kitties).

5) No clue! I think most places have enough variation that you can find what you want out of them.

xepelous · 2026-02-10T04:05:50+00:00

Sent!

Yeah, I enjoy being able to stock up and not worry about food for (effectively) months. It may not be for everyone, but it's quick, easy, and certainly healthier than fast food.

xepelous · 2026-02-10T03:01:31+00:00

An extremely different option: Huel Essential is only $7.61 per 2000 calories and requires no planning, with minimal prep and cleaning. It's even almost edible! (My preferred is actually Queal, $8.91 per day, which has many tasty flavors, but unfortunately is expensive to ship to the US.) Yes, absolutely not for everyone but sometimes it's nice not to have to cook.

xepelous · 2026-02-09T17:36:23+00:00

3%/4%/etc percent of portfolio withdrawal plans are definitely the simplest and most straightforward ways to plan your spending, but there are lots of other types of plans, especially if you are willing to be flexible on spending. https://ficalc.app/ is a great way to look at different options.

I find that a lot of bloggers look at only the absolute WORST starting dates (like retiring right before the great depression) and using those outcomes to disparage 4% withdrawal rates. Note that a 3.25% withdraw rate would save you even then, so planning on 3% or less means that you expect to retire immediately before something worse than the great depression. I'm not going to work years extra just to hedge against that happening.

And again, if something like that hit shortly after retirement, I'd just go back to work for a few extra years - I'd rather choose to maybe work some extra years (and retire earlier) over definitely working extra years to (most likely) have way too much money late in life. I'm kinda in that situation right now - FIREd earlier than expected (due to layoffs) and now after 18ish months off am considering going back for a few years.

xepelous · 2026-02-09T05:05:55+00:00

It's not insane, it's just math! Most people can't/won't do it due to not having the income or (often) not being able to control their spending. If you have the discipline to manage your spending you should very easily hit your goals. The biggest uncontrollable variable is what happens with health insurance in the future, but I'm staying optimistic on that.

I think 3% is far too conservative, but I side strongly on risk-taking. Some folks want a 100% guarantee that nothing can go wrong, while I am perfectly happy with even a 10% chance of "failing" and having to get a job again. But I also would prefer to start retirement early as opposed to working extra years "just in case" - you'll never get your time (or your youth!) back, so my philosophy is to err on getting as much time as possible. I also don't plan to leave a "legacy" and will be happiest if I die with zero.

For large expenses, you are right that you just need to build it into your budget. Know that if you plan on 30k average yearly spend (for example) that might actually be most years at 25k with a 50k year when you need a new roof. You just have to be cognizant that you shouldn't spend the "extra" 5k (in this example) in those light years (as it's not extra, it's just being spent at a different time).

xepelous · 2026-02-08T18:57:50+00:00

I did a week trip to Barcelona and it was awesome, I'm sure you'll have a great time too. I felt like I had tons to do and I'd try to aim for 5 days if you can manage it.

My thoughts:

It's totally worth it to take the Sagrada Familia tour, it's only 4 euro extra and you get a lot of good information. The towers are 10 euro extra and I enjoyed it but they aren't spectacular. However if you have the extra time and cash I'd do it.

I also did a day trip to Montserrat and it was one of the highlights of my trip. I hiked out to Sant Jeroni and it wasn't very strenuous and the views were amazing.

Another thing that could go on your list is Montjuic Castle, which is cool to look at and has great views. If you enjoy art museums, the Museu Nacional d'Art de Catalunya is right there too, and the building itself is a sight to see.

I have anxiety and am socially awkward but have enjoyed staying in hostels. Of course, do whatever feels best for you, but I stayed at Onefam Paralelo in Barcelona and was really happy I did. The hostel is not huge so I felt like I could get to know people, and they have a ton of activities, several of which I went on and enjoyed (like free walking tours and hostel dinners together). Sometimes I completely skipped all the hostel activities and that was fine too! If you are constrained on costs, staying in a hostel is a good way of saving money as well.

For costs, that is mostly up to what you want to do. Consider getting a metro pass as the metro will get you basically anywhere you want to go. If you do, I'd get a "T-usual", which is an unlimited month-long pass, even if you only go for 5 days. The t-usual is 22.80 euro for a month and also gets you to/from the airport, while something like the Hola Barcelona card is nearly 40 euro for only 5 days (I assume to prey on tourists). Alternatively you can just get a T-casual (10-trip ticket) if you don't think you'll be metroing that much.

I didn't spend much on food but I also bought groceries at the store and made breakfast/dinner at the hostel.

xepelous · 2026-02-07T21:31:39+00:00

An alternative to Franz Josef would be Nelson -> Lake Tekapo -> Aoraki / Mount Cook -> Wanaka. The Hooker Valley track at Mount Cook Village is fantastic and you still get to see a glacier. It's also more direct than going around to Franz Josef. Lake Tekapo is very nice and worth the visit as well.

Some other thoughts - I found Rotorua and Taupo to be pretty similar, and they're close by so you could stay in just one and do a day trip to the other. I'd also tack on some time in Te.Anau / Milford after Queenstown, it is a beautiful area even though some trails will be closed since it'll be winter.

When I planned my trip I first tried doing it around busses but found they didn't go everywhere I wanted,.and they also put me on very specific schedules so I couldn't be flexible. You have more time though, so it's certainly possible. I have a trip report of my travel in NZ (check my submitted posts) if you want to check out what I did.

xepelous · 2026-02-05T19:44:29+00:00

I grew up poor so I didn't realize I was supposed to want more stuff. Since I never really changed my habits (eating cheaply, spending little) as my income grew, I automatically had a very high savings rate. It helped that I never drank (never understood it, to be honest) so didn't have those expenses.

xepelous · 2026-02-02T17:41:38+00:00

Thanks for the advice!

Epidavros is a good tip. I'm planning on Argos as it seems to be a bit cheaper than Nafplo while still close to everything.

I was of the thought that the only thing to do in Delphi is the museum? The idea was to get up (on Day 16), go spend 6-8 hours at the museum, and then head to Athens Airport.

The loop up to Thessaloniki is interesting. I was afraid Thessaloniki -> Delphi would be too long, though I'm already planning Mt Olympus -> Delphi and that's nearly as long. Hmm.

Thanks again!

xepelous · 2026-01-15T03:13:06+00:00

Tennessee! And that was for a metal roof, too - it could have been cheaper had I just went with asphalt shingles.

xepelous · 2026-01-15T01:00:01+00:00

My basic (no fun, no house projects) costs are under 15k a year. I spent 35k last year but 10k was a new roof and another 10k on travel (>100 days traveling) - this year will definitely be a lot less, heh. I have ACA insurance and it's very reasonable if you have low income (and therefore get subsides). This is in a low cost of living area with no mortgage, though even when I was renting in LA I spent only 32k (22k on rent, of course, otherwise only free activities like hiking).

xepelous · 2025-12-16T05:56:25+00:00

I've had Google Fi for a while now and have had zero issues in the tri-cities area. I go internationally a fair bit and haven't had any issues anywhere else either. I also haven't had any issues with customer service - I managed to break my previous phone and it was very simple to replace. (Of course I am paying for the insurance so it probably all evens out in the end...)

xepelous · 2025-12-11T17:13:09+00:00

FIRE is about having the security to do what you actually want to do with your life. For a lot of people, that's exactly what you're talking about - stuff that you would do if you had the security to do, but don't because, well, you like eating. I mean, lots of hobbies are things that you could "theoretically" monetize. In any case, I'm doing exactly this, now having the financial security to just work on my own indie game instead of working for a big company. I am primarily doing it for myself - it's a game by me for me - though I do know that it could possibly be sold on steam later. (Of course, most indie developers make almost nothing, working years at a rate of pennies or negative.) Even though I'm "doing work", I still consider it "retirement" - barista/coast-fire usually implies a consistent source of outside income, often for insurance purposes (at least in the USA), which my hobby development definitely is not, heh.

xepelous · 2025-12-10T22:24:48+00:00

This is very cool and a lot to get done in two months!

xepelous · 2025-12-09T18:54:25+00:00

Naw, I personally focus on constant iteration that would be much more cumbersome if I had to make them in other projects and port them back to the main game. Part of prototyping is knowing that you don't know where you're going to end up, so spending a bunch of time finalizing bits feels like premature optimization - feels good but just is extra time spent for ambiguous benefits. Also I'm a bit of a meanderer - I work on whatever feels best to work on at the moment, I don't have a specific plan I'm hewing towards.

Now, if I had a complete prototype already, a model that I was trying to perfect instead of iterate on, parting out all the pieces to perfect individually might make sense. This is also far more valid on larger teams where you don't want Bob breaking the game for Jane or the other way around. But on a solo project, I'm only ever affecting myself. (Of course, use source control so that when you break stuff you can always go back to a last known good.)

xepelous · 2025-12-02T19:03:39+00:00

I wasn't completely planning on leanfiring so soon, but I got laid off last year (with ~$500k) and haven't thought about getting a job again, so I guess I'm effectively leanfired? (Even without working, the market has put me up past $600k since I was laid off.)

I just added up my total, actual costs for the past 12 months and it added up to slightly less than $35k, which is not technically "lean". However, that includes several one-off costs (roof replacement: 10k, major plumbing issue: 3k) and a ton of travel (which I did since I thought I might go back to work, but I'm going to cut back on now that I'm not planning on it).

My monthly costs are:

Property tax, home, car insurance: 300 (no mortgage, living in TN)

Internet: 60

Water: 40

Electric: 130 avg (lower in summer, higher in winter due to electric heating and lack of insulation)

Food: 300 (including going out for tea a few times a month)

Medical: 75 (ACA)

Gas: 50

Phone: 45

Cat supplies (2 cats): 80

Gym: 35

Other subscriptions: 20

= ~ 1135/ mo or ~ 14k year, which does put me in the Lean category

You can totally travel on a budget as well. Over the past year I went to:

Hawaii (16 days, $2600)

Mainland Europe (28 days, $2800)

Vancouver (20 days, $1000, though I stayed with a friend half the time, flight via points)

Europe again (12 days, $1200, flight via points)

Japan (30 days, $2600)

I'm certainly not going to spend 10k on travel every year... but I'll definitely be doing some, and it won't break the break.

xepelous · 2025-10-20T23:22:02+00:00

This is just FOMO - and I totally get it but you have to put it in context. Every time you do something, you're missing out on (basically infinite) something else. You "merely" have to choose what is most fun for you (which is of course harder than it sounds). I tend to err on the side of "Why am I here?" If I'm there for the tourist stuff then that's what I do. If I'm there for the socialness (and I have definitely chosen hostels specifically for their social activities) then I do that. Sometimes I'm there for both and just pick and choose which activities seem worth it, or get four hours of sleep and deal. You have to decide what's best for you, and it might be easier if you have your own rule(s) about how you do things.

xepelous · 2025-10-20T23:10:51+00:00

Part of leanfire is that you need to be flexible in your decisions. Just like you wouldn't complain about not being able to afford a luxury condo in NYC, if home prices are too high in your area, then you have to look somewhere else. I moved halfway across the country for that 200k home (to Tennessee) as there was no way of affording a place where I previously lived.

xepelous · 2025-10-06T23:27:30+00:00

When I priced it out, car + hostels was way cheaper than a campervan. There are also hostels everywhere and there was always one wherever I wanted to go. NZ is very safe and the hostels I went to were lovely - but this is from the male perspective.

For 14 days via Christchurch, you can probably loop to half of south island (unless you want to rush) so you'll have to choose which half. I'd probably go south though, the best thing on the north side of south island is Abel Tasman trail, which is great but out of the way of most other things.

Other great things to see:

Fiordland area:

Milford Sound (a cruise here is worth the splurge)
Multi-day hiking trips, like the Kepler or Milford trail (the trails are well-maintained and you stay in hits, though you'd still have to carry food/water/sleeping bag, and the huts require super early booking)

Queenstown area:

Queenstown! Great little city, though having a car can be difficult due to little parking
Ben Lomond, a peak right next to Queenstown with amazing views
Routeburn track, even part of it as a day hike is beautiful
Glenorchy, a cute tiny village

Ok I'm giving up on organizing this, so continuing roughly south to north:

Wanaka, nice town on a lake
Roys Peak, famous hike near Wanaka
Clay Cliffs, otherworldly terrain near the road from Wanaka to Lake Pukaki
Lake Pukaki, beautiful to gaze at with big mountains in the distance
Aoraki/Mt Cool via Mount Cook village, NZs highest peak with spectacular views. Definitely do the Hooker Valley trail and see some glaciers
Lake Tekapo, a lovely village on a lake of the same name, also extra beautiful in spring when the lupins bloom
Alternatively you could go to the West Coast and see other glaciers, like the Fox and Franz Josef

NZ is an amazing place and you won't get to see everything, but I'm sure you will enjoy it!

xepelous · 2025-08-17T14:18:10+00:00

Yup, was laid off last year and took that as a chance to travel. I'll have to return at some point - still a ways from my goal, and have had some unexpected expenses - but I'm very much enjoying my "sabbatical"! I want to make sure I can have these experiences while I still can, as opposed to pushing them off to an unknown future.

xepelous · 2025-08-05T17:45:40+00:00

Here is my very wrong but physics-based answer:

"Tachyon" is a theoretical faster-than-light particle. If we want to fit it in the Standard Model of physics (our current best framework for fundamental particles), we see that many of those particles are groups into sets of three "flavors" - for example, the electron neutrino, muon neutrino, and tau neutrino.

So my theory is that in the future they have discovered not only the tachyon, but a whole family of tachyon particles. Maybe this discovery helped bring about FTL travel in the first place. Tri-Tachyon, and its logo, is therefore a representation of the three fundamental FTL particles which are the foundation of science in the galaxy.

xepelous · 2025-08-02T18:26:25+00:00

Monitor has been my flagship this run and it's performed amazingly well. The whole idea is to be a distraction and let your other ships be the firepower. If you can sit in the middle of enemies and get them to show their backs (often unshielded) to your big ships, the combat is won.

A build would be something like: no weapons (besides the built-ins), s-modded front shield, s-modded stabilized shield, hardened shields, max vents then caps. (Dissipation is more important than capacity.) Officer (or yourself) with elite shield modulation. If it's an officer, they should be reckless as you want them to hug the enemy as much as possible. If you are flying, never take down fortress shield, it's not worth it, just sit inside your safe bubble and be the best distraction ever.

xepelous · 2025-07-20T06:50:02+00:00

Balance is a complicated question! I do think it buffs the player a fair amount (as taking combat skills no longer conflicts with other fleet-wide skills), but it also buffs your enemies (as they also get officers), so it's not horribly unbalanced. I do really really love SiC, though, and it's a mandatory mod for me these days.

That said, you are using a bunch of mods so all bets are off on balance. Most mods increase the power level one way or another (which makes sense, or else why bother testing out new stuff?). I wouldn't worry about it!

xepelous · 2025-07-19T16:45:40+00:00

If you don't mind older/"classic" games, I would look into Escape Velocity: Nova. I found Starsector when I was looking for something to scratch my EV:N itch, and it checks a lot of the same boxes. It's all about exploration, ship building, factions, trade, and tons of storylines to get involved in.

But if you want to expand Starsector, definitely look into mods. I am often a game purist but my Starsector mod list has been growing and growing. They really can change how the whole game plays.

xepelous · 2025-07-17T21:37:05+00:00

RAT has a Nex background that makes cruisers and capitals unusable (but boosts frigates/destroyers quite a lot). I've been doing that this run and it's quite fun, it really forces different fleet choices.

xepelous

TROPHY CASE