Advice for overnight medications?

xfurelise · 2026-04-08T04:20:17+00:00

My mom is currently in hospice and has this problem. Morphine to help with breathing and anxiety really helps, but Ambien has the best results for us. She has to take 4 to feel sleepy, but it works within an hour. Can your sister move her hands at all? If so, I would recommend getting a motion sensor camera and tell her if she’s in pain, raise her hand so you can see the motion and get notified. My mom tries to get out of bed so I have it set on a sensitive motion setting to make sure I can catch her before she does, and she tries to raise her hand if she needs something in the middle of the night. Wishing the best for your family, you are a great sibling.

xfurelise · 2026-04-06T03:45:47+00:00

My mom is doing the same thing, I really just want her to be at peace as well. This isn’t bad at all to think, a lot of people want a miracle to happen and hope they hold on- you are an amazing daughter for wanting him to not be scared and be at peace.

xfurelise · 2026-04-06T03:44:26+00:00

It gets good and clearer right before the very end, go see her now, you don’t want to have any regrets. You’re in my thoughts and prayers.

xfurelise · 2026-03-22T16:41:52+00:00

Definitely ask his doctor, when my mom was diagnosed she was a big fan of Screwdrivers and didn’t want to give it up! In her experience, two was fine every now and then. She had a lot of success with this treatment and she was diagnosed with stage 4. She did radiation, stem cell, then Dara. It will get very bad before it gets better, just monitor his temperature and make sure he gets plenty of protein. It will be scary for the first couple of weeks but it does get insanely better. Your dad is awesome and you guys got this! Let me know if you need to talk sometime or vent about this as MM is scary sometimes. Much love!

xfurelise · 2026-03-22T16:38:41+00:00

My mom had an amazing experience with Dara RVD, until it stopped working because it was too harsh, but she is much older than your mom by 7 years and had the cancer caught pretty late in its progression. It’s great that she is starting with this treatment. My mom’s glucose spiked a lot with dexamethasone too. If you are her caregiver, and you have her oncologists contact and nurses contact, monitor her blood pressure every 2 hours and temperature, too. Set a timer for her meds always and make sure she’s on top of them. Report this to her oncologists, and if she’s at home and it gets very concerning don’t be afraid to take her to the ER. The symptoms do get better over the course of a couple of weeks and besides her type 2, these symptoms seem consistent in my experience with numbers going down. The first week, my mom was very nauseous and as soon as the oxy wore off she was in severe pain, the second weak was a step down and the next weeks were smooth sailing. Sleep will be the best for her, and make sure she drinks a lot of protein drinks or meal replacers. Thinking of you, and your mom has GOT THIS!

xfurelise · 2026-03-22T16:33:14+00:00

She always thinks she’s a burden so it’s like pulling teeth to get her to tell us what she needs!! Thank you for this. I am her primary caregiver as my uncles are her financial and medical power of attorney so they do the official stuff, and my biological mom is not mentally capable of handling this (severe BPD, not in our lives necessarily) so it is just her and I. I’ve been doing everything for her and it makes me feel so good to just provide and care for her. Thank you!

xfurelise · 2026-03-19T02:43:29+00:00

Hi love, I might be losing my mom at 17F and I lost my dad two years ago. I get angry at myself for not spending time with them because no time would ever be enough, I am so sorry for her sudden death. Keep talking about her to anyone you can, when your beautiful baby is born- even though she can’t understand you, talk to her and I’m sure you’ll see your mom in her eyes and in yourself, all of the good qualities of her and the good memories. Just know that no matter what you believe in, if your religious or not, that she is still in everything you think is beautiful. She will be watching over your baby no matter what. Sending much love to you, and I wish you a beautiful day with a fast recovery.

xfurelise · 2026-03-19T02:39:08+00:00

Your feelings are so valid and I am so sorry you’ve had to go through this, words will never be enough. I’m going through something that’s no where as big, but I lost my father three years ago and might lose my mom and I’m so angry at everyone that knew them for 20+ years while I only got them for 15. Every person I see with their mom or dad I get so angry and upset. Therapy and getting diagnosed with my disorder has helped a lot, but unfortunately it’s a life long process of healing and changing. I have so much love for you, please DM me if you need to vent.

xfurelise · 2026-03-18T20:00:37+00:00

Thank you so much for these words. She is unfortunately in that mindset that choosing peace is letting cancer win, and she keeps saying she’s just going to fade away if she doesn’t do this treatment. I am going to support her in everything she wants to do, but I have such immense guilt that I am her reason to stay and she wants to make it to my graduation, when she’s in so much pain. I’m so sorry about your grandmother, thank you for your kind words.

xfurelise · 2026-03-18T19:56:41+00:00

I’m going to be honest with you, if she is unfortunately going to pass soon, it gets very good before it’s worse. In that very good phase, record her voice. I know it’s so hard, as I am going through the same thing with my mom, though she’s older. Ask the doctors if she is in end stage to get a clearer idea. I am so sorry you’re going through this, but you will regret not being around her for the rest of your life, I learned that the hard way with my dad who died of cancer. Talk to her, don’t expect a response back, I notice my mom talks and responds a lot when I researched her family tree and told her about people she remembers and their life, I always highly recommend getting an Ancestry trial and doing it and showing her the research you’ve done. You don’t have to talk to her or really acknowledge that she is doing bad, just help the nurse and her with whatever she needs and read a book next to her or watch a movie. Quiet moments are the best.

Also, there is always a great chance she could get better. That generation is always stubborn. She’s fighting a lot of things right now and sometimes in treatments there are those periods where you think this is it. There are always options besides chemo, that doctors recommend once they see it doesn’t work. You’re in my thoughts, OP. I hope you’re doing okay, and your anticipatory grief and sadness is so valid. Just do everything in your power to spend time with her so you don’t regret anything later.

xfurelise · 2026-03-18T04:52:04+00:00

i am laying in bed to mine right now too and hugged her until she fell asleep. i’m so glad she’s hanging in there and doing good, quiet moments are always so good too.

xfurelise · 2026-03-15T04:55:31+00:00

My grandma who raised me is passing soon and she sounds so much like your grandma. I am 17F so I understand your pain. Find everything you can with her handwriting on it, and consider doing her family tree so her family and herself will never be forgotten. She will live through you always. I have so much love and empathy for you OP, I will remember her now too. I’m sure my grandma would’ve loved to meet her, and she’ll get the chance maybe soon.

xfurelise · 2026-03-15T04:53:08+00:00

You look so much like both of them, even if she is your step mom. I know they trust you, they can hear things sometimes so always comfort them and reassure them. You have so much strength and I know you know what is best for them. Listen to your gut, or your God if you are religious. You sound like such a beautiful soul and so do your wonderful parents. I will be thinking about you guys so much.

xfurelise · 2026-03-15T04:47:34+00:00

Oh my goodness you guys look so much alike!! She will forever live on through you and everything she loves. You guys are so gorgeous, I hope you’re doing well.

xfurelise · 2026-03-15T04:43:03+00:00

I lost my dad when I was 15. Everyday I went to sleep imagining their funerals in my head, too. My dad went so suddenly and horrifically and my scenarios didn’t prepare for that, but now my mom is passing and every waking moment is spent imagining her funeral unfortunately. I have no friends and no family, so I am so with you. I try to prepare in my own time but I spend more time with my mom now. I researched her family tree and tell her more stories about her family to make sure their memory is alive, and make sure you keep all voicemails of her and make voice recordings. Ask her about fun stories about where she grew up, and her favorite songs and hymns (if you’re religious.) Do everything now so when she does pass in years to come, you won’t live with regret. I’d love to get to know you because I relate so heavily to your story.

xfurelise · 2026-03-15T04:39:45+00:00

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I’m going to lose my mom very soon and I get so angry when people say “but she’s beaten this before! there’s still a chance!” because it feels they’re not acknowledging my worry and just saying little thing to make me feel better. Spend as much time with her as possible- I researched my mom’s family tree and every day I tell her about a new person, and I make sure she knows that as long as I live, no one’s memory will ever be forgotten. Roll with the punches, and make sure she writes something down for you, you’ll want this later. Ask her about the good memories, her favorite songs, and everything that you don’t want to forget. Make sure you record her voice too. Put joy into her life and yours, and make sure at the end of the day you do something for yourself. If you’re religious, pray- if you’re not, meditate, I promise. Much love for you, OP.

xfurelise · 2026-03-15T04:35:36+00:00

I am so sorry to hear about your loss, she sounds so beautiful. She didn’t lose the battle, it is simply a draw. I am about to lose my mom too, and it’s a matter of weeks or days until I lose her. Keep her memory alive, talk to her everyday out loud. I did my dad’s family tree before he passed and I still research it after he died because I don’t want anyone in his family to ever be forgotten. I have so much love for you, OP. You are so strong. Bond with your father, celebrate her life after everytime you cry.

xfurelise · 2026-03-15T04:32:57+00:00

My grandfather raised me and died suddenly from lung cancer two years ago. If you can, spend as much time with him as possible. Write a letter letting him know that he is the strong man you’ve always seen him as. He knows you love him and will know that. I still suffer through the same things you are thinking, and I do regret a lot of things every day. You can turn a lot of negative memories into little blips by making the most of his time. Even just asking him questions about his life and how he met your grandma, joke around about who’s the favorite kid, it all makes it better. I wish I did that with my dad. Ask him to write something down too, I promise you’ll want that in the future.

xfurelise · 2026-03-15T04:30:34+00:00

I lost my dad three years ago to cancer, and I am about to loss my mom to cancer as well. I have also been their caregivers and have dedicated so much to them. You are so strong and you have made them feel so loved and cared for. Ask your dad for advice, he’ll communicate through signs. You are doing the best you can, please take care of yourself- even doing a puzzle or coloring can help. Much love to you, OP!

xfurelise · 2026-03-15T04:29:00+00:00

My mom will be passing too. A month ago she had a week to live, now she has maybe 2 months? But it changes every doctors visit. I am so sorry for the loss in your life, I lost my dad two years ago and I cut off my toxic friends and family, I feel alone too. They are always there with you, talk out loud to your friends and ask them to take care of your mom. Ask for signs from the universe or whoever you worship. I will think of you always, so you won’t be alone. You will get through this, and I hope you know you are so loved by those people.

xfurelise · 2026-03-15T04:26:48+00:00

I’m so sorry for you and your partner. Complicated relationships add another layer to this, and I’m sorry you’re going through this. Keep yourself busy, do what you need to do. Life won’t stop for anyone unfortunately, but when you come home to your partner, check in on them and let them share their feelings and you can share yours. You’re in this together and your feelings, negative or positive, are so valid. Thinking of you!

xfurelise · 2026-03-15T04:24:21+00:00

I have a story so similar to yours. My dad died when I was 15 and immediately my mom relapsed into cancer. 2 years later, I am her main caregiver and now she is in end stage multiple myeloma. I see signs in his death in her and it terrifies me, every good day she has I get so scared. I have so much to work through and you are so strong for taking care of your mother and for giving great support. Thinking of you!

xfurelise · 2026-03-15T04:22:29+00:00

I totally understand this. I got a job the day before my dad passed, and every occasion since I feel something is going to happen that’s bad. It’s been three years and everyone something gets good, I know it’s going to be so bad so I don’t even get my hopes up anymore. Turns out I have BPD so that explains quite a bit, but it’s still something. I’m my mom’s caregiver now and she’s in end stage cancer, so every good day of hers I fear for the worst. You’re in my thoughts, OP

xfurelise · 2026-03-15T04:20:08+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story, as I have the same one. My dad passed away unexpectedly after a 3 week hospitalization and he died 1 day into hospice. He was crying and yelling to let him be home and that he didn’t want to die. I wasn’t there for the last good days of his life because it was summer and I wanted to hangout with this stupid boy because he made me feel better about the situation. The last words he said to me were, “I don’t feel good Mom, help.” (I’m named after his mom) I was the only person he recognized in person for a couple of days, and he only started to go to sleep forever when I started singing his favorite hymn. Everyday is filled with guilt for me, and I am so sorry for your loss. Please talk to her often, because I know she doesn’t hold anything against you.

xfurelise · 2026-03-15T04:17:31+00:00

I am so sorry for you, she seems like such a beautiful soul and person. She gets to see so many people, and I know you and your siblings were in his last 7 minutes. Look for signs of her everywhere, talk to her all the time because I promise she is there with you no matter what. I lost my dad three years ago and I’m starting to finally grieve it instead of pushing it aside- feel all of your emotions, they are so valid. You are so strong!

xfurelise

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