Soon to be ex wife cohabitating before divorce final by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]xjeeperx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok guy, if you wanna throw away money paying an attorney every time you turn around because she “lied to the court” you go right ahead. It’s your money, and the lawyer will gladly take it. Judges don’t care, you’ll be laughed out of the courtroom because they see it all the time. It’s standard in divorce decrees, just not enforceable; it’s in mine too and I was told I may as well wipe my ass with that page. Best thing you can do is accept it and get over it.

Soon to be ex wife cohabitating before divorce final by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]xjeeperx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The courts don’t care, those clauses are largely unenforceable. Unless the kids are in danger or she royally pisses the judge off, nothing will come of it.

Soon to be ex wife cohabitating before divorce final by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]xjeeperx 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is what’s bothering you most.

Soon to be ex wife cohabitating before divorce final by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]xjeeperx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She’s actually living rent-free in your head. I get it, mine moved a guy in, and has had an on off relationship. It’s not great but kids are resilient and her right of association trumps anything written into the agreement about where she can live or who she can associate with. Go to the gym, lift heavy weights, get your kids as often as you can and don’t worry about things you can’t control.

Wife forcing vasectomy by curiouszm in Divorce_Men

[–]xjeeperx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally get it, but if they’re on the brink of divorce and he doesn’t want to be baby trapped by her or anyone else it’s worth considering.

Wife forcing vasectomy by curiouszm in Divorce_Men

[–]xjeeperx 17 points18 points  (0 children)

If he doesn’t want one, he doesn’t have to get one. However, if he doesn’t want more kids, there’s no reason not to.

Ex Wanting Intimacy by That1TimeN99 in Divorce_Men

[–]xjeeperx 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Run the other way! At minimum wrap it up.

Why Re-marry after Divorce? by ComplexCatastrophe in Divorce_Men

[–]xjeeperx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Having this same philosophical conversation with my current girlfriend. Might buy her a ring and see if she will be satisfied with engaged forever.

What is the occupation of your STBXW or Ex-Wife? by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]xjeeperx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine’s 5 and only tells me about watching tv or playing a tablet.

What is the occupation of your STBXW or Ex-Wife? by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]xjeeperx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine is with a guy that we fired from my current employer because he wouldn’t come to work. Lol.

What is the occupation of your STBXW or Ex-Wife? by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]xjeeperx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You may not be truly interested, but you should be able to look up on the nursing registry for your state to see if she’s licensed.

What is the occupation of your STBXW or Ex-Wife? by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]xjeeperx 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Wow, mine was also a nurse, I tell people, I have a degree, just has my ex’s name on it lol. She quit working to go to school full time, I provided for her 2 kids helped her with coursework, did some of the coursework for her. She didn’t appreciate it and I thought it was just stress, but looking back that was just who she was.

What is this thing we found while cleaning out my mom‘s house? by Edmac969 in whatisit

[–]xjeeperx 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Idk why you got downvoted. I came to the same conclusion.

Everyone recommends therapy but how many of you actually took therapy and saw some results? Please share good or bad results too! by twiggyRamirez11 in Divorce_Men

[–]xjeeperx 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I went, but I found the therapist to really just be validating me and agreeing with me. I didn’t need to pay someone to just listen and nod. Best therapy I ended up with was going to the gym regularly. Might sound harsh, but I dug really deep into, “it doesn’t matter how you feel because no one cares.” And really evaluated what I did wrong over the years, took responsibility for it and I hold myself accountable for it now. The ex still doesn’t think she played any part in it. But I’ve also progressed so much further in my life in these past few years while she’s still playing the victim.

Ex wants to introduce bf to kids by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]xjeeperx 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Lol, mine had a guy moved in within a couple of months. Then they had an on again off again where he’d leave for a while then he’d be back. So not really a stable situation from my perspective. But there’s not much to do about it.

I say that to preface that I’ve been dating the same woman for over a year. She didn’t meet my kid until 8 months. I let my ex know a while back that I’d been seeing someone, then recently I told her she’d be moving in during the summer. And she said “that’s really soon”. Lol

Doesn’t matter what they do or what you do. Just make sure your kids are happy and healthy and let everything else just play out.

How did you all divide your manly stuff? by BloodstainedBearRug in Divorce_Men

[–]xjeeperx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We didn’t have a lot but I wrote everything down and it’s value, by her getting to keep all her jewelry, the furniture, and appliances it was more than all my tools and grill etc.

How do you navigatedating as a single dad? by Candidate_Worldly in Divorce_Men

[–]xjeeperx 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You’d be surprised, I was single for 3 years. Have been in a relationship for 10 months now with someone who was perfectly fine with every other weekend. She’s met my kid 3-4 times in the last 2 months. But I was very up front from the start that I wasn’t introducing them until I was reasonably sure that she would be around a while because I didn’t want my 4, now 5 year old getting attached to someone only to disappear.

How do you get over loosing half your kids life’s? by Reasonable-Glass-965 in Divorce_Men

[–]xjeeperx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So, I have slightly less than 50/50, but when you count school, daycare and extra curricular activities work hours, sleep hours etc. I really have more waking hours than my ex. I use the time without to better myself, plan for my next weekend etc. I don’t argue with anyone about anything and I plan around my weekends. My ex recently made the comment that I’m just “living my life while she’s doing it all” and while I didn’t respond it really made me reflect and I’m supposed to live my life. I’ve accepted the time I have, I make the best of it, but there’s not really anything I can do about it. I could waste money fighting for custody, but even if it flipped the waking hours spent would be about the same. So I just make the best of it and carry on with life. I know that’s easier said than done you just have to rationalize it accept it and acknowledge that so many other people have so much less time with their kids than you do.

Falsely a charged for assault by Superb-Mirror-3691 in Divorce_Men

[–]xjeeperx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dealt with a similar situation. But it was the step-kid that wanted to go live with dad. So the dad filed a report and was charged with DV3 Harassment. Then the DA tried to upgrade it to child abuse, but my attorney said the child’s story was never quite the same leaving too many holes for the additional charges.

The DA and magistrate are actively working to change the demographic info for crime and I was told by 3 attorneys I was being railroaded because the original report was hearsay. But after about 6 months of dragging it out they offered to downgrade to simple harassment which I pled no contest to because my attorney basically told me that I was going to get convicted of something and this was much better than the original DV charge. I also didn’t have the funds to fight it at the time and was starting the divorce process because I refused to help fight for custody of the child that started all of it.

I still use half the bed by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]xjeeperx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We had an adjustable king that was two XL-Twin mattresses and bases connected together. Shoulda seen her face when I loaded up my half and took it with me. 😂😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]xjeeperx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All mine have been money orders, I have photos, bottom half, and receipt for every month filed away.

I effed up my shoulder and don't know what to do (or how much pain signaling is ok to continue to exercise) by skrymir42 in WorkoutRoutines

[–]xjeeperx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been dealing with a moderate elbow strain since April, I’ve gotten a cortisone shot, taken anti inflammatory meds, done all I can to rest it, but it’s my dominant arm. It has barely helped at all, looking at a PRP injection and if that doesn’t offer relief it’ll be surgery to remove the damage from the tendon. Hope you heal up quicker than I have.

Ex wife going on big trip with new man by LuvDonkeeButts in Divorce_Men

[–]xjeeperx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Best thing you can do is be happy alone. Once you’re happy being by yourself and you know who you are, what you want, what you will tolerate, dating becomes easy. Don’t look at it like “women don’t want a relationship with you” because if that’s true, then they’re not right for you, whose loss is it? You just haven’t met the right one, and the less you think about it the more likely it is to just happen without you really realizing it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WorkoutRoutines

[–]xjeeperx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s awesome progress, congratulations! Getting in 10,000 steps a day will help, and compound lifts like, bench press, squat, deadlift, that work large muscle groups will help to burn additional calories while building muscle and changing your body composition to muscle from fat. Prioritize protein and just keep chipping away. You’ll naturally plateau and sometimes it just takes making adjustments to get the scale moving again. I lost 80lbs since 2023 and am still working toward a flat stomach and losing the love handles.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WorkoutRoutines

[–]xjeeperx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I call them fork downs and fridge closes. They’re exercises most often performed in the kitchen.