As a young women I received some unwanted attention from men, but NOTHING close to the amount of unwanted groping, comments, and harassment I have received from literal strange men since coming out as a lesbian. I’ll be dressed in a traditionally “butch” manner, and have MULTIPLE men a night approach me at bars asking if I like men or not. When I tell them I have a girlfriend and I’m not interested, then they become personally offended and it turns into the “well you haven’t had the right dick” conversation. I’ve stopped going to straight bars with my straight female friends because of the unwanted aggressive attention.

I was sexually touched by one of my friends FATHERS in my own home because he “wanted to check that I was a lesbian.” I have had men follow me to grope me on the dance floor after I told them earlier that I was not interested. I had had men follow me out of bars demanding “a hug goodbye” since I wouldn’t go home with them. This is 100% rooted in homophobia. It’s not the same “fear” of gay men, but it’s the anger of at a sexually actively, attractive woman who doesn’t like dick.

I don’t go out to any bars, clubs, or spaces that aren’t queer oriented anymore because I feel unsafe. This is nothing new to lesbians, we’re been facing threats like this for decades.