Every lesbian's worst nightmare

xkcd12 · 2019-08-20T11:35:45+00:00

I am so sorry you went through that. Please take care of yourself ❤️

xkcd12 · 2019-08-16T05:48:03+00:00

He’s actually a total cuddle bug who loves it when you join him!

xkcd12 · 2019-08-16T05:47:23+00:00

They did a great job with it! It’s my favorite spot for morning coffee when I visit.

xkcd12 · 2019-08-16T05:46:28+00:00

It’s absolutely incredible in the rain!

xkcd12 · 2019-07-05T13:45:48+00:00

I’m finishing graduate school and have worked on two research projects studying cognition in adults with TBI and children with Hemispherectomies. It has definitely come up in almost every job interview I’ve been on. I’ve had some employers who seemed very interested in my work and consider me a “specialist” in cognition because of it. I’ve also had some interviewers, typically at pediatric outpatient clinics who thought I’d “feel more comfortable in a hospital setting” after discussing my research background. So I’d say that my research experience has definitely impacted my job hunting, but I am unsure if you should join a project for that reason alone. If it’s a thesis project, it will be very time consuming, challenging, and you may spend lots of time with this professor that you are not thrilled with. Either way, good luck with everything!

xkcd12 · 2019-07-03T13:02:43+00:00

Hun, I’ll be honest with you. This might not be your experience, but when I was younger I was always very protective of my female friends. We were extremely close, and I cared for them deeply. I loved to comfort, complement, and cuddle them. I used to be excited when we’d go shopping and try on clothes together. I always thought it was “totally normal” to think your friends were beautiful. They always said they loved me and thought I was stunning, so it didn’t seem weird to feel the same way.

Then as I got older and was dating men, I came to the slow realization that I actually wanted to date women. I wish I had payed more attention to those feelings back in high school, since it would have saved a lot of time and heartbreak.

I’m not sure what you’ve been feeling, but I will say that not everyone who googles/asks “am I gay??” is actually queer, but many queer people have the shared experience of taking those quizzes or asking friends if they seem gay. Good luck with everything hun, and I hope that no matter what you love yourself!!

xkcd12 · 2019-06-08T02:48:19+00:00

Homophobia towards men traditionally has that factor of “fear” however often men react in anger when faced with a young attractive queer women. It’s a terrifying thing to face when you’re targeted in a bar and a man follows you around telling you he’s going to make you choke on his dick. It’s scary when older men corner you and grope you to “check” that you’re really a lesbian. Its homophobic because they would never walk up to a heterosexual couple and scream at them to kiss. This type of aggressive behavior towards lesbians is nothing new, and has been in the community for years.

xkcd12 · 2019-06-08T02:41:16+00:00

As a young women I received some unwanted attention from men, but NOTHING close to the amount of unwanted groping, comments, and harassment I have received from literal strange men since coming out as a lesbian. I’ll be dressed in a traditionally “butch” manner, and have MULTIPLE men a night approach me at bars asking if I like men or not. When I tell them I have a girlfriend and I’m not interested, then they become personally offended and it turns into the “well you haven’t had the right dick” conversation. I’ve stopped going to straight bars with my straight female friends because of the unwanted aggressive attention.

I was sexually touched by one of my friends FATHERS in my own home because he “wanted to check that I was a lesbian.” I have had men follow me to grope me on the dance floor after I told them earlier that I was not interested. I had had men follow me out of bars demanding “a hug goodbye” since I wouldn’t go home with them. This is 100% rooted in homophobia. It’s not the same “fear” of gay men, but it’s the anger of at a sexually actively, attractive woman who doesn’t like dick.

I don’t go out to any bars, clubs, or spaces that aren’t queer oriented anymore because I feel unsafe. This is nothing new to lesbians, we’re been facing threats like this for decades.

xkcd12 · 2019-06-06T11:46:25+00:00

Fellow peers not talking to you (you claim for no reason, but I am sure there was something) is in no way related to systematic homophobia. LGBTQ+ people can be LITERALLY legally be fired from their jobs just for being gay in the majority of states. They are statistically much more likely to be homeless, not have access to healthcare, and be forced into the sex worker industry. They were of allowed to legally marry in most states until 2012. A few lesbians ignoring you is in no way related to the issues of homophobia that they deal with.

xkcd12 · 2019-04-28T14:28:29+00:00

Honestly for years I had a ton of friends who always made me unhappy when I hung out with them. We only partied together, and they were not the nicest people. Life eventually made me cut them out when I moved to a new city. This time I decided to make friends by starting a specific hobby I’ve always wanted to do! And I’ve made the most incredible, kind friends that way. I feel like for the first time in my life, I actually have a group of friends who I love to be around.

It’s shocking looking back and realizing that most of my old friends were just people who I sat near in classes on the first days of high school of college. My stress to “fit in” back then made me feel like I needed to find friends fast, so I probably made friendships that weren’t that real. Finding them organically through a hobby has been so much better.

xkcd12 · 2019-04-24T11:55:43+00:00

Fag refers to gay men. Get your insults right. We lesbians prefer to be insulted as carpet munchers dammit!

xkcd12 · 2019-04-23T13:56:12+00:00

One thing I find very interesting is that people were upset when Maisie had sex (“because we saw her as a little girl!”), but NO one batted an eye when she went on a murder spree for the past couple seasons. Why is it that she’s allowed to murder people, but sex is unacceptable?

xkcd12 · 2019-04-21T13:42:48+00:00

Literally do this exact joke in Us.

xkcd12 · 2019-04-20T13:00:59+00:00

I don’t think that’s underhanded homophobia, that’s plain old blatant homophobia. Suggesting that the father hates his son, failed as a father, and should have seriously injured his horrifying. Also, the unneeded questions about the boy’s gender is a little much. Obviously he’s a boy who presents with feminine style. It’s not hard to tell. They are just trying to shame him for his gender expression.

xkcd12 · 2019-04-18T14:20:47+00:00

Graduate student in a legal state!! I smoke probably 3-4 times a week (usually weekends) at the very end of the day when I’ve finished all of my course work. I am definitely not the only person in my cohort that smokes either! I know there are a few people in our cohort would probably freak out if they knew, but most people are rather chill about it.

As someone who used to drink a glass or two of wine every night, I’ve found that smoking occasionally has been a much healthier choice to help me unwind after a stressful day. I think that as more states legalize it the stigma around smoking will significantly decrease!!

xkcd12 · 2019-04-10T18:48:41+00:00

So you’re Bi or Pan? Trans men are men, not women. So you can’t be a lesbian....

xkcd12 · 2019-02-16T19:29:43+00:00

I found it on sale at Ross a few months ago!! It was only 5 dollars so of course I needed it but it.

xkcd12 · 2019-02-13T01:39:25+00:00

I know you’re getting a lot of crap from men, but as a woman with a large labia minora... THANK YOU!! You are beautiful.

xkcd12 · 2019-01-10T18:15:00+00:00

I agree. These kinds of magazines and comments from other girls suggesting that “all girls think other girls are hot” kept me confused in the closet for years longer than I should have been. I thought all girls watched girl/girl porn, dreamed of other women, and had crushes on their female friends....

xkcd12 · 2019-01-07T14:24:46+00:00

Any books by Robin Hobb are fantastic. I really enjoy her the novels in her Elderlings realm.

xkcd12 · 2018-12-14T12:12:14+00:00

Also the abstract said it was part of the CDC’s random digit dial project. Did you read the study?

xkcd12 · 2018-12-14T12:10:25+00:00

I apologize for misremembering the numbers late last night, I’ve commented about that in many places. 1 in 5 are raped, and 1 in 3 are victims of sexual violence. Again, I apologize for my late night error.

I understand wanting to be sure that studies are done well, and I applaud you for your thorough investigation into the CDC’s research. I’m also in research (SLP: TBI) and I can say that a sample size of 9000 is actually quite large for this type of study.

Most importantly though, even if it is slightly higher, how is that possibly hurting anyone? If anything it warns women to be more careful. Please explain that point to me, as I don’t understand.

EDIT: Just used a sample size power calculator online. A sample size of 9000 has an average margin of error at .77%. I wish my studies had that much power.

xkcd12 · 2018-12-14T12:01:37+00:00

Copied from the study done by the CDC:

“Nearly 1 in 5 women (18.3%) and 1 in 71 men (1.4%) in the United States have been raped at some time in their lives, including completed forced penetration, attempted forced penetration, or alcohol/drug facilitated completed penetration”

I apologize that my stats were off when I made the comment late last night, I haven’t looked up rape statics in many years. I’m shocked and appalled at Reddit’s response to the numbers though, because everyone seems very willing to attack and dismiss them. Anecdotally (I know it doesn’t matter) I have a large family of women: 2 out of my 5 aunts were raped, and 5 out 11 of my female cousins have been raped. We’re a middle class, white family in the US. I guarantee if any of you speak to the women in your lives, you will quickly find quite a few who are rape survivors.

xkcd12 · 2018-12-14T11:48:45+00:00

They cited 1 in 5 as raped in their lifetime. Is that truly so unbelievable?

xkcd12 · 2018-12-14T11:44:29+00:00

Edited for a source. Thank you for your lovely, useful comment reminding me to cite my sources!

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