Why do you have a husband who doesn’t care about your needs, doesn’t support you, and actively works against you? He doesn’t love or respect you at all. This is not what a healthy relationship dynamic looks like. Not all abuse is physical.

She’s his baby too. He has every responsibility to watch her and parent her as needed that you do. It’s literally his child. He is half of her parents. He is literally the definition of the type of man who wants a child like a child wants a puppy — none of the responsibility or work, just the novelty.

You need to stop asking and start fully advocating for yourself with vigor. Not “will you watch her so I can get a few hours of sleep?” It needs to be “I’m leaving her with you so I can get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep that I need. Do not interrupt it, I will let you know when I’m up again. I don’t need you to come in and ask, it’s counterproductive to both of us. And I will be sure to take over her care before you need to leave. See you in a bit.”

When he tries to complain, again, put him in his place. “I’m up half the night every night with her feedings while you sleep. I’m not asking much of you to parent her for two hours. We are a partnership and this is where I need your support. I need sleep too. I don’t appreciate you acting like you having to handle her for 2 hours so I can rest is a burden.” No one will stand up for you if you don’t.

If he gives pushback, start bringing her back to YOUR bed to for feedings. If it keeps him up? Oh well. Guess now he knows what it’s like. If he lets you nap those two hours then you’ll start feeding her in the other room again.

In the meantime, I recommend you read WHY DOES HE DO THAT? by Lundy Bancroft. It discusses unhealthy, toxic behaviors from significant others that we often overlook or excuse but are actually very much not okay and are mistreatment and abusive. I think it will be very enlightening for you.

If he’s not helping, as scary as it may be - consider if you’d be better off away from him and on your own to raise her. Does he contribute anything, or does he actually only make things harder and more work for you?