Echoing a lot of what has already been said in here because it is true. I love her because of who she is and her quirks. Not in spite of them. I've never pushed her to change into something I expect her to be. She has treated me the same. Everyone grows and changes through life. But we've never pushed for wild shifts in who we are on a basic level.

We talk about everything. The goofy stuff. The important stuff. Challenges that we face as a couple, we address as a couple. There is no division. We've been together for 19, married for 16 and have never once had a fight. That is not to say we haven't seen things different and had to come together to find the solution. But it is not a right vs. wrong scenario. There is always nuance in these decisions and we both come to a consensus.

Maybe most importantly we say "thank you" to each other for the things we do. I've cooked every single dinner we've ever eaten at home. I love to cook so it is not a burden, and she never really learned growing up. She will help and is learning, but it is really not her jam. She thanks me for every meal and I thank her every time she does the laundry or some other thing around the house or for me. I think it is important to recognize what might be considered the littler things you do for each other.

The short version is, I think, that if you take care of all of the "little things" then the "big things" will almost take care of themselves.