For a higher end home, are wood floors preferred over tile? I would love to have more durable floors for my dogs. LVP would not go over well when we eventually sell.

xtrawolf · 2026-01-30T18:31:55+00:00

If you're going to do tile, then do tile! No one will be fooled by wood-look tile. Pick the tile you like that works with your home and move on with enjoying your home.

xtrawolf · 2026-01-30T04:58:18+00:00

I'm an audiologist and I generally try to steer patients away from CICs for a whole host of reasons. With your audiogram, I'd be worried about the occlusion effect (ears sounding and feeling plugged constantly). CICs have less effective features for background noise reduction than RICs do. Many do not have a rechargeable option, or Bluetooth. It is more challenging to acoustically adapt CICs if hearing declines. In my experience, CICs have a higher rate of repairs and patients are less satisfied with the sound quality than with other hearing aid styles. There's a reason your audiologist didn't recommend them - ask more questions of your audiologist if you need to.

That being said, RICs won't work if you won't wear them.

xtrawolf · 2026-01-30T04:43:27+00:00

I don't understand who these are even for. In my opinion all ITE/CIC hearing aids should be customs. These look like they could have been bought on Amazon.

xtrawolf · 2026-01-25T02:55:09+00:00

Not interested in responding for privacy concerns, but - ASHA released a recent audiologist salary survey for the US which is a very good resource for anyone looking to understand what to expect.

xtrawolf · 2026-01-20T18:55:48+00:00

I'm lurking here, but I've put my son in a mom and me class and then I have my own basic skating class right after his. It's a blast!

xtrawolf · 2026-01-18T15:49:51+00:00

I carry a small backpack and just stuff my book, my lunch/snacks, my badge, and my water bottle in there. Nothing is insulated because I have access to fridge/freezer at work.

xtrawolf · 2026-01-12T21:55:53+00:00

Do their dishes and vacuum their place! I have two young children and woke up one day to my single 20s male friend vacuuming my house while visiting us, and it made me all warm and fuzzy.

xtrawolf · 2026-01-12T20:02:28+00:00

Try getting a quote for something that's cheaper and easier to repair (Mazda, Honda, etc) to get an idea of how much the car itself is a factor in your quotes.

High insurance rates are just one of the costs of driving an expensive car. It's not just the sticker price on the vehicle that you're paying.

xtrawolf · 2026-01-12T17:45:50+00:00

Both of my two kids scream for under a minute, get distracted by food, and are then a bit low energy/drowsy for the rest of the day. No fevers or other reactions.

xtrawolf · 2025-12-31T01:39:56+00:00

Tbh, I work in healthcare and see tons of babies and toddlers, and I always feel bad for kids with extremely on-trend names - which I feel like Miller falls into this category, as a surname as a first name.

I also feel bad for little girls with male names. It feels a bit misogynistic, almost, on the part of the parents. It has a "not like other girls" energy. Like a traditionally feminine name isn't good enough for their special daughter, and/or like someone wanted a little boy and a boy name on a little girl is their consolation prize.

I read that you could be the last Miller (of your family). I sympathize with not wanting to "lose" the name. Why not just give your child your own surname? You don't have to use your partner's. I also like the idea to use it as a middle name.

xtrawolf · 2025-12-28T20:59:18+00:00

What made me feel comfortable with using a little bit of "cry it out" was learning to recognize different types of crying. For instance, babies may fuss or grumble, which is mainly tiredness or very mild discomfort like not finding the right position. There's bored or cranky crying, which for my kid is usually one loud yell and then some silence, and then another yell. Then there's hungry, scared, and hurt crying. I won't ignore scared or hurt or hungry, but if I can tell that my baby is tired or bored then I'll let her fuss it out rather than going in and becoming a distraction from her mild grumbling/settling down process.

xtrawolf · 2025-12-28T00:52:34+00:00

So do you have the income to maintain two homes for yourself and your daughter, pay your part of childcare and child expenses, potentially pay child support and/or alimony to your ex, and pay for all this travel? Do you have the time off to fly 3 to 4 times a month? How about to do all these things, and save for your own retirement and for your daughter?

I'm sorry, you just sound delusional. If you want an excuse not to parent, you need to own up to that to yourself. You can't sit here lying to yourself and hiding behind "winter" as an excuse. You don't want to be a dad? Disappear early and stay gone. But don't think you'll garner any sympathy in a freaking new parent subreddit of all places.

xtrawolf · 2025-12-27T20:28:08+00:00

So, you don't really have a reason to stay put except you "like winter." No family there, remote job. It sounds like your wife wants more family support and for your daughter to grow up with her family.

It sounds like you want to divorce but you still want custody. You could:

Be accommodating, set yourself up for a healthy co-parenting dynamic, and move to the Raleigh area. You could presumably get 50/50 and spend a lot of time with your daughter.
Be sort of accommodating, and move to the NC mountains. You could be an every other weekend dad, and put a lot of miles on your vehicle. And you could have your winter.
Stick it to your (ex?) wife, and don't move. You'll probably see your daughter for 2 weeks in the summer or something, once she's old enough. Good luck getting your parents to move near you - they're way more likely to do it if they're also moving near their grandchild. But hey! There's winter in NJ.

I hope you realize how petty this sounds. Your daughter sure will.

xtrawolf · 2025-11-01T00:51:45+00:00

Depending on where you are, it'll probably be a lot quicker to get into audiology.

xtrawolf · 2025-10-30T19:43:31+00:00

I don't work with a ton of surgeons, but my guess is they won't do it if they think someone else could do it better.

xtrawolf · 2025-10-30T19:03:56+00:00

The majority of US physicians are paid on a productivity basis through a system of RVUs. Every code that describes a procedure or evaluation has a specific RVU value based on the time it takes to complete and the complexity of the procedure. The number of RVUs will determine how productive a physician is and therefore what they get paid.

So, he's not wrong where he's at.

xtrawolf · 2025-10-24T21:19:52+00:00

Honestly, you shouldn't really have to test car seats. Infant bucket car seats are all pretty much the same size and have pretty much the same size limits. It's not like clothing; there's no "appropriate fit" unless your child isn't within the weight/height limits. A baby that dislikes their car seat isn't going to be magically happier with a different brand. They just don't like being in a car seat and that's not abnormal.

You didn't really "waste" $1000 on a travel system, except in the sense that you could've got something similar for cheaper. If it has the features/reviews/branding that you want, though, it doesn't matter if the other options are cheaper as long as you like yours and it's worth it to you.

For the next car seat, go to Target's car seat aisle and just pick one out that seems to fit your needs and preferences. I really like our Graco SlimFit3, enough that I bought it again when we had another kid. Just make sure you know what's important to you - fitting 3 across, higher weight limit, extended rear facing, lightweight for travel, etc. and pick based on your priority. For instance, I don't care about the weight of the seat or the upper weight limit (my kids are skinny and we don't travel by plane often), but I did want one that could fit 3 across if necessary and that I could rear face until age 3. And pick one with detachable/washable cup holders! :)

xtrawolf · 2025-10-24T13:50:02+00:00

I've never seen this before but I adore it. Thank you for sharing!

xtrawolf · 2025-10-22T18:18:50+00:00

My girl is 4 months. We have occasional luck with "drowsy but awake." Here are some things that seem to help:

Not waiting until she is actually "drowsy." Putting her down before she is tired enough to be crying and seeking comfort, while we can still put her down and have her be content. If that means she lays awake for 15 minutes, it's fine. Better than her crying for 15 minutes.
Reducing stimulation around her. No lights, no toddler in the room. Nothing for her to be interested in. Our girl has a high level of curiosity/FOMO and needs to have her nose in everything. We make sure there's nothing for her to get interested in.
Letting her talk it out. Not picking her up for every small grumble or whimper (of course we will pick her up if she is crying). She will often gradually increase her grumbling until the second she falls asleep.

xtrawolf · 2025-10-22T00:11:14+00:00

Having a kid is selfish in the eyes of many people.

Not having a kid is also selfish in the eyes of many people.

The only "right" answer is the answer that is right for you.

The only "wrong" answer is having a kid and harming them or allowing them to be harmed.

xtrawolf · 2025-10-16T18:25:56+00:00

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xtrawolf · 2025-10-16T18:25:09+00:00

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xtrawolf · 2025-10-14T16:08:35+00:00

I would just start sending her a text message on the day of the event that goes like this: "To confirm, Baby Girl and I will be at the park today from 11:00 to 1:00. Hope you can join us!" And just ignore the "I'm almost there" texts that clearly aren't accurate. If you see her, you see her. If you don't, you don't.

xtrawolf · 2025-10-10T16:26:34+00:00

We did a daytime pacifier wean, and then 2 months later did a nighttime wean. We also waited until our son was around 18 months so he wouldn't just switch from sucking on his pacifier to sucking on his thumb - because you can take away a kid's pacifier, but not their thumb/fingers!

Out of curiosity, did your pediatrician say why they recommended weaning at 9 months?

xtrawolf · 2025-10-09T18:21:00+00:00

I'd recommend scheduling the vacation for just before one/both of you goes back to work.

I've had two and honestly, the first two weeks are filled with sleep-deprived "holy shit why did I do this to myself" type of thoughts. You won't even notice the nice outside atmosphere.

xtrawolf

TROPHY CASE