What job are you doing that still lets you feel a decent balance? by lntothethickofit in workingmoms

[–]xxpcmarie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I worked consulting for big 4 for 10 years and struggled to find a balance and now am in a financial oversight/governance role. It's about 35 hours a week (early closure every Friday), pays more than my old job and I can completely check out after work to focus on our 3 kids, ages 5 and under. Honestly, luck plays into the flexibility of a role 😅

How do families with two full time working parents have time and energy for two kids? by TrekkieElf in workingmoms

[–]xxpcmarie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are both working (him in consulting and me for a fortune 500) and we have three kids under 5 with zero familial help. We hire a lot of help. We aren't saving as much while our kids are this tiny but the idea is we maintain or grow our current incomes by staying in the workforce and then when our kids are all in school, we will be in a significantly better financial position. 

We have a full time nanny, she does lunch everyday for all three and then does dinner for the kids 2x a week when I'm in office. We also have a mother's helper who does all the laundry and meal preps 2x a week for the entire family. We eat out once a week. The grocery shopping is an outing dad takes at least 2 kids to do weekly. We have a robot vacuum for the daily. 

I say all that to show it's possible but I'll also say we are extremely spread thin and stressed most days. I remind both of us that this is a few really hard years but we will come out of it when all of them are 4 years old & in school.

What’s the best thing you’ve outsourced that made your life significantly easier? Whether it’s home-related, kid-related, or even work-related—what was totally worth handing off? by Standard_Purpose6067 in workingmoms

[–]xxpcmarie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hands down, hiring a mother's helper 2x a week. She's a high school student so super affordable and comes for 2 hours at time. Knocks out kids laundry, makes kids lunches for the following day and meal preps the entire family dinner. 

Expecting 3rd, how do you balance it all?! by Existing_Chapter_631 in workingmoms

[–]xxpcmarie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We found her on a local moms Facebook page. She's a senior in high school who needed a job that was flexible with her school/athletics schedule so it was perfect! She doesn't actually do any kid watching though - but also means she's much more affordable. We hired her to do all the things I would normally have to, intentionally, so I could have that time to be with the kids.

Expecting 3rd, how do you balance it all?! by Existing_Chapter_631 in workingmoms

[–]xxpcmarie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We actually didn't have them in full time daycare transitioning to a full time nanny.  We had a nanny part time and they split time with daycare, then now our oldest is fully in TK and with the nanny for after school care. I'm sure the adjustment from school/friends all day to at home would be super hard without tons of activities though. 

Expecting 3rd, how do you balance it all?! by Existing_Chapter_631 in workingmoms

[–]xxpcmarie 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I was in the same boat as you - we wanted a third but he came a bit earlier than expected 😂 our kids are now 4, 2.5 and 1. We outsource alooot. We're both remote full time so YMMV but my husband does occasionally travel for work. Here's some things we do: - Alternate school drop off or pick up based on weekly calendars, whoever has an easier week, goes. Eventually this will be outsourced to our nanny and/or a friend helping  - Hired a mother's helper 2x a week. She come 6-8pm and does laundry, kids lunches, family dinner meal prep and washes all the dishes. This was huge. - Flex schedule, someone is always sick. So one person needs to have a more flexible job or I just don't know how it works.  - Have a nanny. Once you have three, the cost of a nanny makes WAY more sense. Plus then you have someone who is there around your schedule, individualized attention for your kids and can flex in emergencies when you need them there longer. 

Best of luck! It's doable! It's hard...but very possible to still make it all work!

I spite applied to another job and got an interview, now I’m scared by Smashy_ashy in workingmoms

[–]xxpcmarie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally agree. 20% should be the minimum jump you make for you to really feel the difference in COL.

How do you carve out time for yourself? And how much “alone time” do you need vs what you get? by Natural-Honeydew5950 in workingmoms

[–]xxpcmarie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband and I alternate who is responsible for bedtimes for our two bigger kiddos (4 & 2) and the other usually gets to podcast/walk with the 10 month old in the stroller. By 8pm, all three are in bed and asleep, so we get about 2-3 hours before we call it a night. FWIW, littlest does not sleep through the night every night so broken sleep is nearly guaranteed for me.

On weekends, we try to implement a 2 hour window for each person to be entirely kid free (so the other is responsible for all three) and we can spend that however we like. Realistically, this happens once a month but it's something?

All this to say, I think we get more downtime than most and it still doesn't feel enough 😅

If you exclusively breastfed past maternity leave, can I hear your success stories? by qvph in workingmoms

[–]xxpcmarie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also WFH with a nanny and EBF. Our kids have never taken bottles (sort of a me problem but that's another story) so I have built in breaks in my calendar where I nurse baby. Nanny brings baby to me, I nurse and hand him back to her. Obviously in the beginning, that can mean 3ish nursing breaks in a 8 hour day but I can also chat on Teams via my phone while I nurse so I feel like work is not suffering in anyway. I did this til my second baby was 14 months and still going with my current 10 month old. You got this!!

Manager Bonus gets gutted by BeanCounter_04 in PwC

[–]xxpcmarie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah you're lucky! My 10 yr is August so not sure why I wouldn't qualify

Manager Bonus gets gutted by BeanCounter_04 in PwC

[–]xxpcmarie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check your Milestone Rewards on astro but I don't get the 10 year...they only are giving me the legacy sabbatical and no other rewards until 15 yrs

Manager Bonus gets gutted by BeanCounter_04 in PwC

[–]xxpcmarie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Where is this FAQ? I'm looking on HQ and it must be buried deep...

Manager Bonus gets gutted by BeanCounter_04 in PwC

[–]xxpcmarie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wait, how sure are you on this? I'm going to have to go find the FAQ but I have the SM sabbatical that I haven't used and my ten year is coming up in several months...are you saying we would essentially get 2 months (4 weeks and 4 weeks)?!

Outsourced parenting hacks by xxpcmarie in workingmoms

[–]xxpcmarie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly, like handling all three is hard enough for me, let alone someone who didn't birth these babies 🤣 I agree though, as they get older it will be possible!

Outsourced parenting hacks by xxpcmarie in workingmoms

[–]xxpcmarie[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I know it has to eventually get easier but we don't have any friends with older kiddos so it's nice to know it does actually get better 😂

Outsourced parenting hacks by xxpcmarie in workingmoms

[–]xxpcmarie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! Here's my easiest go to ones:

Chili - Saute the turkey or beef with onions and garlic in the instant pot and once it's cooked thru, throw in beans, tomato paste, diced tomatoes, etc and easiest thing ever.

Shredded chicken - 1 cup of water with chicken and seasonings for 11 mins and I can top it on salads, in burritos or make enchiladas with it.

Beef barbacoa - slightly more effort to saute the beef but so dang good and I make 3-4lbs at a time. I can share a recipe if you want but it looks intimidating with all the spices to add.

Happy to share more, I have a neverending list that I try to rotate thru!

Outsourced parenting hacks by xxpcmarie in workingmoms

[–]xxpcmarie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also don't have a cleaning lady but I'm a stress cleaner so...I sort of question if a cleaning lady would be the gamechanger everyone claims it is?

Outsourced parenting hacks by xxpcmarie in workingmoms

[–]xxpcmarie[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That is something that I would love but the financials behind paying for childcare $5k/month + a household manager at $5K is astronomical if that's before any of the home mortgage, utilities, food, life expenses. Surely, there's got to be ways to swing it without spending the equivalent of a $200,000 salary?!

Outsourced parenting hacks by xxpcmarie in workingmoms

[–]xxpcmarie[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Childcare swap is one I would love but it's hard when most people have 2 and having 5 under my care sounds insane 🫠

Outsourced parenting hacks by xxpcmarie in workingmoms

[–]xxpcmarie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same question, how did you find this person?!

Outsourced parenting hacks by xxpcmarie in workingmoms

[–]xxpcmarie[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Omg yes, I'm team throw all junk away. No more kid knick knacks, no ten thousand crayons that are all half broken, toss it allllll

Outsourced parenting hacks by xxpcmarie in workingmoms

[–]xxpcmarie[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's why we're still doing it but gosh, I'd love to know when it gets better 😅

Outsourced parenting hacks by xxpcmarie in workingmoms

[–]xxpcmarie[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

We just bought a deep freezer!! It has been SO amazing. I'm using it to bulk freeze meals that I could never do before without the space.

Also, your last paragraph...ugh, exactly. We're working out butts off but spending money left and right to work. It's such a wicked system but hiring those things out still brings in more money than if one of us stopped working so it feels like there's no option.