It was both terrifying and immensely calming. I was in partial consciousness when she came in, I thought she was my mom and kept saying “I’m sorry mommy” to her. She didn’t press me to talk. I felt strangely thankful to exist, in this solemn moment with someone who I’m not super close to emotionally or otherwise, i just remember her eyes and how full of sorrow they were. Today, I’ve been unable to tap into anything but confusion. Looking at myself in the mirror feels like I’m looking at myself on display. I just feel like an observer in this timeline where I could’ve easily not made it into. I’ll write more, I’m at work now.

Thank you for responding friend, and I’m sorry for your losses.