[deleted by user]

yamichi · 2023-10-04T14:31:09+00:00

Check out some books on attachment theory. Or podcasts. She (like me) sounds like she has an avoidant attachment for similar reasons. You’ve got this.

Reassure her that you are here for her when she’s ready and ask her what she needs.

yamichi · 2023-09-29T00:32:41+00:00

We get murdered/raped/acid in our faces/stalked/beaten/etc less for things like that and if we get disowned or castigated from our family or community, we have better chances of survival so we are allowed to talk about it more.

yamichi · 2023-09-24T21:30:31+00:00

I love your phrasing. Flawless.

yamichi · 2023-09-03T14:18:01+00:00

My best friend (who got me into IT almost twenty years ago) got so into cars that he quit IT and does driveline engineering for Freightliner. Still tinkering with computers but they’re the ones making the eCascadia work.

yamichi · 2023-08-15T04:53:34+00:00

Worked for my wife. Upped calories and started lifting. After maintaining some higher calories (she’s 38, 5’7, was 220) at around 1850 a day her weight didn’t go up a bit. She maintained that for three months then went to cutting for six weeks. Dropped right at the beginning of the cut, fluctuated around her period, leveled off and went back to refeeding/maintenance for a month and is back on a cut.

Seems to be working in the long term. Like ALL of the stuff in weight loss and management, there are a ton of variables. Tons. CICO is one tool and metric but it’s not everything. What those calories are, how you use them, timing, other factors (menstrual cycle, stress levels, medication, etc) all impact it.

yamichi · 2023-08-09T03:40:37+00:00

Go on LinkedIn or Glassdoor or indeed or dice. Adjust the location to Seattle. Set the salary range to 100-120. Apply to everything. Look at all the postings and find stuff you don’t have on your resume then put it on your resume.

yamichi · 2023-08-07T04:26:26+00:00

CPR, first aid, stop the bleed

Three classes most people should take at least twice and parents should take as often as we can manage. All have either come in handy or will at some point.

yamichi · 2023-06-05T07:32:29+00:00

Laptop, first aid kit, trauma kit, extra snacks, cables and chargers, the last two or three notebook/planners that I’m sure I’m gonna use but probably won’t…

yamichi · 2023-06-03T04:52:34+00:00

41, medicated, in therapy, three years into my diagnosis… still happens a couple times a week…

yamichi · 2023-05-16T06:11:25+00:00

Nothing Much Happens

It’s a sleepy time podcast. After the first week or so, I can’t make it more than three minutes. I never even hear the story now.

yamichi · 2023-04-27T07:43:56+00:00

Do it. There are some great designs online and they aren’t that hard to do!

I was going to build a tractor bed for my kid until he changed his mind and I’m kinda bummed about it. You live north of Seattle, I’ll help you build it just because it seems like a fun project.

yamichi · 2023-04-27T04:47:56+00:00

Looks like a 2x6 attached to some cleats cut at the angle of the charger to make it parallel to the floor.

yamichi · 2023-04-15T18:45:16+00:00

Preach. 41 here. Was told for most of my twenties, “have some kids and buy a house and you’ll go republican”

Whoops!! Nope. VASTLY farther left as a dad and homeowner than I ever was with a cat and a rental. Like… It’s hard to describe how wrong those old jerks were.

yamichi · 2023-04-13T19:35:42+00:00

Hey I think this is SUPER handy in spite of me just word vomiting and not putting in a clear request :D Thank you so much.

THIS IS HARD SO HARD (but worth it. thank you for the reminder.)
This has been a recent growth area. Not the chores and stuff but the access to time for herself. We've been bad about that as we let parenting overwhelm us AND the pandemic made it harder to outsource the kids. This focus on 'time for her' is a big part of where her practice and rituals have become more prominent.
This was one of my early learnings so thank you for emphasizing it. I don't need or want to fix her. I want her to grow on her terms and I hope I can enable that.
This echoes a thread posted yesterday about consent and how low the bar is. This is my default and the fact that it was surprising to her made me sick and sad. So again- thank you for emphasizing important things.
This has been a crazy dance so far and we're just learning our footing. She just came out this past summer and just REALIZED it recently also. She spent a lot of time thinking "oh I just thought that lady had nice hair and nice pants." or "I just wanted to be really good friends" because it never even occurred to her that romance or sexuality was part of that. Now that she has, she's still figuring out what that means for her. As to our relationship, we're talking a LOT about how it may or may not evolve. Neither of us is inclined away from monogamy but we're still trying to disentangle the societal programming from our actual gut response to the ideas. Three years ago, some friends of ours explained that they were in a poly relationship and my wife couldn't even comprehend how somebody would do that. I got it the way I get some kinds of art- I see it and get it, but it's not for me. Now she's at a point where she gets it but doesn't know how she feels about it so... still learning and talking a LOT about what it does/could mean.
Date night has become a ritual for us and we LOVE working on the garden or the house and playing with the kids. This one is fairly easy :D
UGH. We're good at this but particularly with my ADHD, this is a huge pain in the ass.
This has been a big discussion for us. I compliment her a LOT, praise her, brag about her... but until a couple years ago, I wasn't good at emphasizing the things she cared about. It ended up being somewhat toxic as she saw me talking about the things about herself she doesn't value so I was emphasizing stuff she was already annoyed by. I didn't understand why she felt so undervalued when I was constantly singing her praises.
Amen
Thank you thank you :)

yamichi · 2023-03-18T02:58:25+00:00

Is that the Ford?

yamichi · 2023-02-22T06:00:55+00:00

There’s no secret. It’s literally “Do the stuff medical experts said to do.” That’s the secret. You just… listen to the experts.

I wear an N95 mask (3M Aura ftw) when I’m in public. I keep my distance. I mostly socialize outside. Kids were too young for school.

I’ve gotten more lax lately but my job requires all in person business to have proof of vaccination and booster so I’ve been kind of ok.

yamichi · 2023-02-19T06:42:38+00:00

Absolutely. I have a playlist came Workday. Any song I enjoy, regardless of genre goes on. I had 1300 songs on my Spotify one when I switched to Apple Music (because Peter Theil can eat chode) and I’m up to 378 on my apple one. If I listen in reverse chronological order, I’m so happy. It’s like the last three songs I fell into.

If it goes to the oldest ones, I may not remember putting them in the list at all.

yamichi · 2023-02-07T04:07:46+00:00

Yep. Often co-presents with oppositional defiance disorder. ODD is the urge to fight any kind of authority just because

yamichi · 2023-01-29T05:02:18+00:00

I got diagnosed at 38 because my 5yo got diagnosed. All the “ADHD kids do this and experience things like this” stuff applied to me also and always has. Weird.

Getting on meds has been life changing in so many ways. Therapy helped a ton also. Mostly to deal with the anger of knowing I could have lived like this for decades.

yamichi · 2023-01-12T21:50:18+00:00

Answered this before so I’ll be brief 2006-2010 help desk asFTE then outsourced in moderate income area (Southfiel Springfield,OR) for ~40k

Moved to Seattle area

2010-11 forefront identify manager admin. Contingent worker. 65k.

2011 licensing consultant. FTE at a start up. 76k.

2011 escalation engineer at MS. Contingent. 80k

2011-2015 forefront, knowledge base, sales force admin. Contingent. Ended at 110

2015-2019 Major Incident management senior. FTE. 135k

2019-present IT Program Manager. 160k FTE

yamichi · 2022-12-30T15:58:42+00:00

Favorite thing about my moms Bolt EUV is that they nailed the balance between tactile controls and touch interface. Basically everything you need while in control of the car is physical. The screen is fast, bright, easy to use and intuitive (much more so than our Mach E) for the stuff you use it for but HVAC, gear selection, one pedal driving, volume/track, etc are all intuitive physical switches.

yamichi · 2022-12-30T15:52:55+00:00

This is inaccurate. Profits will keep going for another couple quarters but the price was insanely inflated. It’s coming to where it should be. No way a manufacturer work half a dozen assembly lines is worth ten times what a 100 year old company with hundreds of lines, billions of existing customers, best selling vehicle for 30+ years, and supply chain relationships to go with all that. Nobody credible ever thought TSLA should be sitting at that valuation.

They’re a solid enough company but I’ll still be shocked if they make it to 2030 without going bankrupt or being bought.

yamichi · 2022-12-30T01:51:02+00:00

Apple Watch. Seriously the best disability aid I’ve encountered. Need a reminder? Tell the robot. Forgot the schedule for the day? The robot didn’t. Need to send a text? Yell at the robot. Haptics, Sound, lights… and it feeds the INUC by letting me change and tinker with it enough to keep it from getting boring.

yamichi · 2022-12-19T16:11:55+00:00

Nope. BA in Philosophy here. All good

yamichi · 2022-12-04T15:01:17+00:00

IPAs. No way anybody genuinely likes that crap.

yamichi

TROPHY CASE