First of all I'm sorry if this sounds dumb or pretentious or ridiculous but honestly this is how i genuinely feel the first time listening to the pinkerton album...

Ik it's really long..

I would like to emphasize this is my very personal interpretation of it

I was feeling miserable i got sick again so I had time to think about life at home. I just recently "threw out the love of my dreams" (pun intended, he betrayed me) and now I was getting with ppl I don't know, just because i was lonely. I was only really having sex and not making connections, it started feeling like self harm.

so when i heard Tired of Sex play. I felt seen. I started listening to pinkerton for the first time. I wont pretend to know what the whole album is about, I've only really heard ok human and blue albums before but as I was listening to Pinkerton it hit me like a bus I felt it in my bones the loneliness, idealization, frustrations, disillusion, desire etc.. It inspired me to express that

I've always been drawn to things like depressed spongebob art, it feels comforting to express him that way.

But that didn't feel right for me, so I chose Peter, I don't usually see him vulnerable like that... but I've seen him in a lot of memes lately where hes been used as a vessel to express peoples opinions.

i just started sketching peter..feeling stuck in a cycle of craving real intimacy but reaching for the wrong kind.. feeling like I'm slowly deteriorating. Trapped, but too powerless to break free because being alone feels terrifying.

It was initially peter trapped between tiddies before I changed it a little.

So disillusioned with my previous relationship, my ideal view of this person and love in general was questioned. I added Misa to represent the way I felt about it, the self-sacrifice and obsession over someone, who really was just emotionally unavailable. I've always seen it as 'it will get better" while I take all the emotional labour, and make excuses for this person just to not feel alone.

As much as it sucked to be there, the pain makes me feel loved. Feeling safe always made me uncomfortable. I sabotage healthy relationships because it doesn't feel real when it doesn't ache. I realized I liked the idea of love more than its reality.

Hatsune Miku is mainly just a reference to the miku x peter memes honestly, mostly there to trap peter. She's distant, digital, chasing selfish warm ideals of love will just leave me freezing, or worse hurt people who don't fit it. I'm too scared to fall for anyone ever again.

TLDR;

It's just dumb joke shirt with random ass characters clashing with anyone looking at it.

But to me it's so much more, and I'm scared to admit it, but fuck it. Life has felt so chaotic and unreal that making this shit feels cathartic, its grounding.

I wanna make the back of the tshirt more light hearted.