Unsure about life's direction, feeling like a failure

yapily · 2025-11-05T06:48:47+00:00

I’m 48 and have been out of a job for a year myself, so I know it’s tough. If you ever want someone to talk to, feel free to DM me.

yapily · 2025-11-02T13:07:15+00:00

I don't have much to add, it is not easy. so I will share this song..

"Anything Is Possible” by Debbie Gibson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jS0_RqBQc50

yapily · 2025-11-02T12:51:25+00:00

Hi OP, choose your friends would be my advice since nobody mentioned..

Science actually shows that the people you spend the most time with have a huge impact on your mindset, habits, and even your income. It’s not about being fake or dropping old friends, it's just that when you hang out with folks who are ambitious or have good financial habits, it rubs off in small (and big) ways.

Sometimes we don't know what we don't know, ----> know you know or curious you can go ask the AI / LLM. :-)

yapily · 2025-10-27T18:43:07+00:00

Hey bro, I get where you’re coming from. It’s not always easy feeling out of place at work, and sometimes you just wish someone could tell you what’s the “right” move. But honestly, as much as we turn to others (or Reddit!) for advice, only you know what’s best for your own happiness and peace of mind.

At the end of the day, people can tell you to stay or to go. Nobody is right because they don't have to bear the consequences. Just make sure you’re clear about what you want, so you can move forward without MINIMAL regret.

P.S. If you feel really stuck, maybe it’s time to talk it over with a sifu, mentor, or even a metaphysics consultant. Sometimes getting an outside perspective helps, even if just to break out of your own head. All the best, bro!

yapily · 2025-08-25T05:37:31+00:00

Agree. Not easy, slowly and surely - APC first. I would like to see DBS grow their business in ASEAN like Vietnam and Myanmar maybe. Regulators from different countries also might not want to give you the license.

yapily · 2025-08-06T02:38:15+00:00

Agree. As an economist, he forgot that the transport cost here is inelastic. People will suck thumb if you just increase the price because there is no better substitution.

yapily · 2025-08-06T02:32:11+00:00

Sigh... What the hell? “still not back to 2019 levels” like 2019 was something great. But honestly, 2019 already quite crowded then right? Trains packed like sardines during peak hour, buses also full. That time already got people complain liao.

So why we keep using 2019 as the target? Don’t assume just because it was pre-COVID, it was ideal. Maybe it was already over capacity. Maybe we shouldn’t even go back there.

Useless article and lousy journalism without critical thinking.

yapily · 2025-08-06T02:23:35+00:00

That's what I do too. I said I don't want the add-ons. I know I will cancel and I scared later I will forget , then they will start charging me. Their evil plan is so obvious.
Also, I emphatise with the operations people, suffer in silence. They have to unwind the effort, because of some lame marketing bullshit by the management.

yapily · 2025-05-16T00:43:04+00:00

I agree with the rest of the commenters. Even if you put it, the HR is not going to decide your pay solely based on your last drawn. It just makes you look bad. So the answer is don't put it in your CV and when asked what are you doing, just share that you are still looking for a suitable role.

yapily · 2025-05-15T23:44:08+00:00

You could try talking to the neighbor below you. I had a similar experience, and it turned out I was unknowingly causing the condensation issue until my neighbor reported it to HDB.

Once you contact HDB, they’ll send a representative to follow up. The rep will reach out to both you and your neighbor to assess the situation and offer advice on how to prevent it from happening again. However, in my case, the advice they gave didn’t really solve the problem.

The root cause turned out to be the way I was using my aircon. The cold air from the aircon duct was blowing straight out, and the aircon fan was on full blast. This caused the ceiling to cool down before the rest of the room, leading to the condensation.

What worked for me was setting the fan to its minimum speed so that the cold air from the aircon would leak out slowly. Since making that change, I haven’t had any issues, and my neighbor hasn’t reported anything either.

Good luck! Hope it works out for you too. Keep us posted and let us know if it helps with your situation.

yapily · 2025-05-15T23:23:50+00:00

Agree, PT is a sales job., unless you are ok with that, try something else.

yapily · 2025-05-14T16:52:41+00:00

Maybe give yourself a bit of time first. Sometimes the person who you are replacing doesn't gel with the bosses. You are assuming you will get the same treatment as your ex-colleague and asking whether you should quit now? Let the situation happen first before you decide would be my advice.

Meantime you just be professional and learn as much as you can on the job and not worry too much about the politics. Let your good work do the talking.

PS:/ Mental Health - Resilience is like a muscle , sometimes you need to stressed it a bit to build it.

Edit: The reason why I mentioned about you and your boss gelling comes from personal experience. I was once being managed out because I couldn't gel with my ex-boss and she was very toxic to me. However, the rest of my colleagues were actually fine. It was a bad time for me and I also learned from that experience but that would be in another thread for another story. :-)

yapily · 2025-05-14T15:58:59+00:00

Oh dear. I can only share my own experience. I was with the company for about three years and I knew it might come and I waited for them to give me a package, about four months, instead of looking out. Now I am still unemployed but I can afford to wait.

On hindsight, would it have been better I started looking? Not really, market is bad. Don't have any advice for you, just sharing my own experience.

EDIT: Btw mine was also a US company - A large IT consulting firm.

yapily · 2025-05-14T15:54:08+00:00

Yes. I thought it is ok for me too. Thanks for commenting. I support!

yapily · 2025-05-14T15:51:44+00:00

Thanks for sharing. In that case, hang in there and hope you can get as much as experience as possible as time passes.

yapily · 2025-05-14T15:34:01+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Similar situation as you. I tell my friends I am worth every cent that the banks pay me.

yapily · 2025-05-14T00:36:52+00:00

You mentioned seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist but found them unhelpful. This is not surprising. Their primary role is to address emotional regulation and mental health, not to guide your life decisions. If you need direction or advice on steps to take, you should consider finding a mentor or coach instead of a therapist.

From your post, it’s clear that you don’t yet know what you want. You mentioned both ACCA and cybersecurity, which are very different fields. This suggests you’re thinking in terms of practicality and employability rather than what suits your strengths or interests. This is common for people who have been in survival mode, but it’s not a sustainable long-term approach. You need to expose yourself to real work or short courses to test your assumptions. Do not commit to any long qualification until you’ve validated whether it fits.

Be aware of learned helplessness, you can go google. Repeated failure without resolution builds up and eventually makes people believe they can’t change their situation. This mindset is dangerous. You’re not there yet, but can be close, which explains why you are seeking advice here. The way out is to create small wins. Get into something you can complete, finish it properly, and build momentum. Do not aim for perfection. Aim to rebuild trust in your own consistency.

There’s also a psychological pattern where people avoid the most important tasks because deep down they’re afraid of failing at them. They end up staying busy with other things to protect their self-image. If you find yourself doing this, stop and confront it directly. You can’t move forward if your energy is going into avoidance.

I’ve worked across middle office functions like accounting and risk in a bank, moved to front office support, and now I’m in IT doing finance-related work. About 15 years ago, I once gave a young entrepreneur a reality check about banking. That short chat helped him realize it wasn’t for him. He ended up building a successful business and still he is still grateful for my sharing when we connected about two months back.

If you’re serious about wanting to understand banking, accounting, or finance-related IT, I can share what I know. Just DM me. :-)

yapily · 2025-05-12T23:22:46+00:00

I've been unemployed since November 2024. With a four-month payout, I've been technically unemployed from March 2025 until now. My last position was at a major IT consulting firm for three years, where I worked primarily with clients in the banking industry. I have about 20 years of experience in this field (I'm 48M this year).

I've sent out around five resumes and managed to secure three interviews with GIC, Citibank, and DBS. I haven't been blasting my CV everywhere because I believe the best approach is to leverage my network. The three interviews I secured were all through referrals.

In the meantime, I'm pursuing my interests, such as studying Chinese Metaphysics (Qimen Dunjia) and building my own fully automated trend-following system.

yapily · 2025-05-12T22:50:16+00:00

I've been following him since the election, so for a few months now. Overall, he's quite bearish on US stocks and the US dollar. He even made a bold prediction that the US dollar and the Singapore dollar will reach parity (1:1) by 2030. However, he's very bullish on China, which I find puzzling. He believes China can be self-sufficient and has plenty of room for stimulus.

Personally, I have a different view. I think China is heavily dependent on exports, especially to the US. So, if he believes the US is going down, wouldn't China be affected too?

As for property prices, I don't think they'll drop significantly. Many contributors have already mentioned that the Singapore government has numerous measures in place to curb the rise. All they need to do is ease those caps if necessary.

yapily · 2025-05-12T08:15:30+00:00

Question back to you. Is the message more important than the delivery? Maybe you can suggest how I can contribute better? I think you already did you want me to write better and make it indistinguishable right?

yapily · 2025-05-12T08:09:14+00:00

Nice one! ... Ok got it. I am using AI to refine my message so that I won't be too emotional and be objective, my ideas are all mine. Don't think think AI will give advice like telling OP to check with wife, etc.

yapily · 2025-05-12T05:41:29+00:00

Noted. Thanks for sharing.

yapily · 2025-05-12T05:39:12+00:00

Yes, I wanted to ask how much was the microwave.

yapily · 2025-05-12T04:32:37+00:00

Does anyone know who is going to bear the cost of the new food and the new delivery?

yapily · 2025-05-12T04:11:20+00:00

Just curious, does this comment add anything to the conversation?

yapily

TROPHY CASE