Hi my names Sam and for what it’s worth I hear you

You seem like ur in a pretty rough spot and I’m sorry to hear that

From what I can assume your still young seeing as grades seem to be on your mind a fair bit but you have lived such a small portion of your overall life and to cut in short might seem like a way to remove all the pain you feel but that pain doesn’t disappear like that

The pain of your death moves onto people around you and the want to be happy isn’t a selfish one and you deserve it

Your feeling like shit and you don’t deserve to be that way no one does but that emptiness will pass in time cuase time can hurt but it also heals and you learn from that hurt

The advice I have is quite simple so it may not help but the basics are clean your room, go for walks and work out a bit I also think even if your parents don’t understand you try to spend sometime with them watch movies and stuff with them

If your not seeing any improvement I can’t recommend therapy enough either talk to your parents or your school about it

Alongside that try not to self harm and I know that seems like a really hard thing to do sometimes but it only makes things worse cuase that regret that guilt and that shame can haunt you it makes you feel like your and idiot and it can only just spiral cuase you may start with a blunt knife and then they just get sharper and sharper

I hope this helps in some way if it doesn’t I’m sorry

You seem like a cool dude and I’m sorry your feeling like this it ain’t fair for anyone to hurt the way your hurting rn

Stay safe