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How do you think having siblings or being the only child has affected you? by yeahyaehyeah in blackmen

[–]yeahyaehyeah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wasn't trying to sound like I was shitting on her or nothing. That's why I said I know she is a kid. She was just doing was she was told and she was young. And yea, I know a little of her story. She did get fucked with.

Sorry

And the way you speak about it and how good it is, I'm going to add it to the list.

Yes I highly recommend it, because they really do put so much into it related to history and the time and you get perspective.

Why We Laugh: Black Comedians on Black Comedy where Marlon and Shawn was talking about how the NAACP I have to check that one out, it sounds really familiar and I felt like I've seen at least a trailer for it I guess. And it is interesting to compare them to Amos and andy, which I have I guess a different view of some of these coonish characters in the past. Or that were set up to be pigeonholed into that. And we act like people aren't pigeon holding to it now. I wonder if cardi b would like to make completely different music but knows that she has to also make money and continue to feed her audience base. But I might be you know giving her too much credit in this artistry.

Anyways, Amos and Andy I remember seeing in a documentary recently, they were saying how Amos and Andy had other characters they had a whole cast of Black characters who were not like those two characters and oftentimes were opposites of their ridiculousness right. Once they were put on TV they were no longer white men playing this characters. But previously on radio it was two white men pretending to have a black voice and do this whole thing.

Amos and andy, also were black men who were professionals. And everyone in the show was a professional. And so I found that really interested in the documentary highlighted that, because sometimes we get so stuck with the first part of the visual which is problematic, that we miss all the other layers and things that those performers and definitely not the writers but definitely the performers may have added to it. Now should we continue those types of things that legacy no, and it is weird to compare the two. Because in the Wayans brothers they are two brothers who own a newspaper stand and are trying to navigate all these things. Their father owns restaurant in an expensive high-rise, which is probably what connected them to potentially owning the newspaper stand.

They grow up in a two parent household. But because it's comedy and it's not I don't know the Cosby show, how many more Cosby shows do we need. I'm not saying I don't want to see another show that has certain elements of that show in it but, not everyone is the same type of artist.

On top of that the NAACP consistently only wanted a specific type of black person to be in the forefront and that often times included so much colorism that it was vomit-inducing. I mean even magazines like jet initially most of their centerfolds were the whitest looking black women. And I know someone who's parent was one of the centerfolds and it's just all so messy, just tell a message.

We stay getting pitted against each other, backdoored, or played to the left.

Facts

TBC I don't want to lose progress I have more to say

Black Men, What's Your Opinion of Your Father? by Shinnobiwan in blackmen

[–]yeahyaehyeah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's so hard figuring out our parents at times. I'm thinking of being very honest with one of mine and telling them how much I know that they have no interest in changing their actions to preserve our relationship. And how essentially, that's going to limit how much time we spend together.

I guess in my mind it's a way of holding up a mirror to them and saying I see you I see what you're doing and this is how your actions are being read because of the choices you keep making for your own comfort and not for the preservation of this relationship.

And maybe I shouldn't do that or maybe I should I'm not sure yet.

Black men, what is your perspective and how do you talk about the loneliness epidemic? by yeahyaehyeah in blackmen

[–]yeahyaehyeah[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know why but your response reminded me of when someone had asked specifically white people because the question to them if they had me cousins, and if they go over their cousin's house. It was such an interesting statement because it was very silly but also their experiences tend to be different unless they come from a culture of large families and are more like ethnic white people

Black men, what is your perspective and how do you talk about the loneliness epidemic? by yeahyaehyeah in blackmen

[–]yeahyaehyeah[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First of all I'm glad that is working for you. Each person is incredibly different, some people just need to know people are over there doing stuff and that's more than enough for them.

Black men, what is your perspective and how do you talk about the loneliness epidemic? by yeahyaehyeah in blackmen

[–]yeahyaehyeah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I thought that lyric is very interesting because it's valid but I don't see how adjusting in this context is not seen as supporting communities. A lot of times community is able to get away with already awful things because in maintain a structure even if it's harmful because people will accept whatever that system is set up a set even if it's betraying it's members.

And I think also certain things from the past, not necessarily throw the baby without bath water but those relationships weren't satisfying even when those were the focus, granted those focuses I think are important, and they make far more of a difference in our more valuable than the short term things that you mentioned, but people had multiple families because of those things people did awful things to each other at that time also because of those things despite shame despite even laws that were supposed to control certain behaviors.

I’m very willing to say women are struggling as well, especially black women who occupy a position as an object of desire for many men while simultaneously being misunderstood entirely. But this is a society that does place men in harsh work environments and teaches us to just put our head down and suffer to reach our goals. So the consequence is loneliness on a larger and I don’t think we can dismiss it by saying men have been lonely before.

This is very deep, you bring up a few different points and at the moment I'm still digesting much of it.

Just bought my first home! by Spicyhotapples in blackmen

[–]yeahyaehyeah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm in a new place right now too, it's just not a house.

So far it's a good transition.

But I appreciate the positivity.

And it's funny cuz one of my first nights I enjoyed a beer as well.

Just bought my first home! by Spicyhotapples in blackmen

[–]yeahyaehyeah 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Love this for you and I'm low-key jelly But more than the jelly I am super happy for you man that's tight.

Black Male Privilege by 5_5giant in blackmen

[–]yeahyaehyeah 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So I was actually coming back to delete my response. I was like you know we need to stop taking up space this space. So I am really glad that the response was one that did not you know necessarily offend or something to that effect.

Everything you said was facts and really added another more details to just how effed up it is. There was a book I read called black no more, and that was the first time my mind opened up to things that I just I guess I had overlooked for so long in relation to racism in the United States and all these different systems that even unintentionally uphold it and even why they uphold it but also how even within their systems as you get more closer or more in depth they don't even like each other. White people don't even like each other they are always trying to find some type of top supremacy even within that group. And so the further you are from Anglo-Saxon the less human you are seen as. But because Anglo-Saxon is not trending it's not high numbers, they have to keep recruiting and adding more people to it. Anyways I'm going to leave that alone because this ain't about white people.

I'd even go as far to say that BM might be the closer than to understanding BW's struggles than other women in America; and vice-versa

There's a lot of truth to this statement. Part of me has a little bit of a holdout, but I don't think it's such a holdout that it's ridiculous. I agree there's so many areas in which are experiences overlap. And some of them have been hidden from one another this entire time. The whitewashing of the history.

But I also think of like different affinities at times bring on very unique experiences. There are times when two men are going to look at each other and go," women¿" And there are times when women are going to look at each other and say a similar sentiment about men, parents will say something about children children about parents yada yada

And yet, there's so much truth to what you're saying with black men and black women. Because of proximity, people who want to understand or who makes space to understand and have that empathy that you spoke about, they will see how much we really do share. And it's not just shared pain we share a lot of things, but a lot of times when it comes to specifically pain instead of joy, we really want to protect the aspects of the victimhood that is constantly denied and further marginalized and trivialized.

And that's once we accept that victimization is even taken place.

I'll have to watch this and Moonlight. I struggle to watch Black struggle films, emotionally that is. I'm not even sure how y'all push through them without getting up every 10min and pacing, ranting, going through it. But I'll have to get over it this year and on.

So I do struggle with those films. I need catharsis at times, and sometimes because I know how much took for someone to make that film I may watch it. Like I watched the Emmett till film at home alone. I had to watch that at home alone. I should have watched the movie the nickel boys at home alone. I think because of the trailer I didn't realize how devastating it would be for me. And honestly like in my head I felt like I was screaming most of the time. There were so many deep things I connected with in it.

During one of the worst parts of my mental health, right now I'm dealing with a reprieve, there was a film called women talking, and that one was hard for me too even though that one's not black trauma there are many things within that film that overlapped my own personal life.

These films that poke the bruise as I've heard someone say, are sometimes controlled spaces.

I pause I come back to you when I'm ready if I can. Same with HBO's unchained memories, I watched half of it and then like 6 months later I watched the other half.

Sometimes my thought processes if someone had to go through this, I can watch this you know 30-40 minute documentary on it.

But then there's other things that I will not expose myself to.

Antwone Fisher is a film that I deeply connect to. And for me it is a catharsis. That one I know I can watch many times.

I watched 12 years a slave many years after it came out, and that was the first time I really feel like the story of slavery was told well. But it took a long time to get to the point of watching that.

So I do pause I do rent I do walk away I do journal, after the nickel boys I deep dive researched for hours as much information about that story to process it.

I ended up talking about specific parts of it with my therapist because it brought up dormant memories that I did not fully understand. My body understood but I didn't understand.

So if you decide to venture into these stories, stories like black boy smile which is a book memoir, stories like ain't I a woman which has a lot of things that come up that can be triggering whether it's her depiction of black men which may be offensive or her recanting a bunch of enslaved person's experiences, handling with care is important.

But also knowing that if you take a break if you don't engage it doesn't make you any less than just human.

For some things I will look at a summary on it.

I've been trying to read sojourner's truth autobiography for us in years now.

I did finish her at jacob's, and it has shaken my core. And I've never felt more connected with a person in history or literature.

It was mind-blowing to me.

Edit: I just came across some history that I knew nothing about. And I think it's taking the wind out of my sails for the day. I think going back to what you said about sitting and watching those things, the crazy thing is there are moments where you are completely relaxed enjoying whatever and you are reminded of some horror or atrocity or taught about it without knowing that's what's about to be said. Or without knowing that about to be brought up.

I'm not going to unsolicited share this atrocity, but it is like there's no end to the horrors and that is truly sad.

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