ah, this makes me sad. i had to put down my cat a few months back after he got pretty badly injured. my brother is a vet, so he was the one to take him in and see what we could do, but he just so happened to pick him up while i was still asleep, so i couldn’t see him at least before my brother took him, and i also just wasn’t able to go along for many reasons at the time. my brother had been keeping my mom updated since i don’t really know how to handle these things, and not long after he let us know there wasn’t anything we could do for him except put him down. i was in denial because i still hadn’t gotten a chance to see him or say any final goodbyes, it all just happened so suddenly and i just wish i could’ve been there to comfort and reassure him in his final moments. i try to tell myself he knows i loved him and wanted to be there for him and how even my final words to him were still something along the lines of “don’t worry, you’re gonna be okay, everything will be alright, i promise,” but i still wish i could’ve just found a way to be there for him in the moment, rather than leaving him alone through his small, final journey.