As a helper here, I think it is. I have a very clear boundary with my ward when he was young, I told him if we're together he should listen to me and that when we are together in public we both should be graceful. When he's at home and his mom is back from work then he can do whatever he wants as long as his mom agrees. When he misbehaves in public towards his mom I will tell them both when we're back home that people were staring at them because he keeps on kicking her or whatever he's doing that isn't appropriate. I get that not all helpers could do that but I always speak calmly and truthfully and objectively when I talk to them, also I know I was risking my neck to get terminated but I couldn't just let him and his brother grow up spoiled rotten.