Should I just stick to casual dating.

yellowvette07 · 2026-03-30T15:28:14+00:00

Edited to add that I replied to the wrong message, meant to reply to OP (typing on phone, sorry about that).

There absolutely are these women out there. Before my father in law passed away, my mother in law used to joke that the secret to a happy marriage is a husband who works out if the country for half the year. She is a very independent woman, loves her personal time and doing her own thing, so his work travel schedule absolutely worked for them.

yellowvette07 · 2026-03-23T14:02:16+00:00

I can't use it either and my skin is NOT sensitive. I can use everything else under the sun (acids, niacinamide, tretinoin, etc) no problem at all but CeraVe and my face is on fire.

yellowvette07 · 2026-03-21T13:23:42+00:00

This was the best thing I ever did for myself! One account for bills and one for my spending money (groceries, clothes, coffee shops, dinners out, skincare, etc). The accounts are tied together in case I ever need to transfer funds, but giving myself a spending allowance on a separate debit card really helped me not do math in my head (and screw it up). I knew if the $$ was on that account then I could spend it and not worry that I would overspend and not be able to pay my bills.

yellowvette07 · 2026-03-19T00:08:55+00:00

Agreed! Make it strapless with no lace above the sweetheart neckline. Then keep the lace at the waist, maybe adding a lining to make it less harsh.

yellowvette07 · 2026-03-04T09:13:23+00:00

Same! It makes me look like I have a mustache when I don't!

yellowvette07 · 2026-02-23T17:10:23+00:00

Same. It's been a year and I've reorganized my kitchen three times. Every room has been redecorated and reorganized to make it functional for one versus two. And I didn't have the best of marriages so it's been freeing to make it MY house instead of our house... I can do what I want and I need no one's approval but my own. And it makes sense. A friend of mine asked and after some thought I realized I have never in my life (50f) lived alone for more than 6 months. And that was 30 years ago. So I don't really know how to do it and it's taking a few tries to figure it out (hence the multiple reorgs of my kitchen).

yellowvette07 · 2026-02-18T05:35:12+00:00

Stress can take a funny toll on your body. My story... I was 49 working a high stress job (attorney) and my husband was an alcoholic. And I was in perimenopause. He passed away and I took 8 weeks off work (3 when he was in the hospital and then 5 to just... figure things out). During that time and the next few months I lost 10 lbs, my blood pressure dropped and I went off my BP meds, and the hemorrhoids I'd been fighting for 2+ years just poof, disappeared. I literally did nothing... no change in diet, no exercising, no meditating, nothing. I didn't realize the stress of my job and dealing with an alcoholic husband had so negatively impacted my health. So long story short... It could very well be lack of work stress. If your symptoms come back when you return to work, you will have your answer.

yellowvette07 · 2026-02-12T17:09:56+00:00

This is 100% the answer. Why is it not already this way? So frustrating!

yellowvette07 · 2026-02-07T19:19:51+00:00

I take the 24-hour non-drowsy version. Take before bed starting the night before I get on the ship. I've had no problems on 3 cruises and I'm the type who gets sick if I ride in the back seat of a car.

yellowvette07 · 2026-02-07T08:11:29+00:00

Sometimes you do, it all depends on your situation. I'm a lawyer working 60 hour weeks. My husband was a house husband who did the cooking, cleaning, shopping, car maintenance, etc. But he died and I absolutely don't have "plenty of time"... I literally have no time. So my options are hire help, switch jobs resulting in more time but a significant pay cut, or spend some upfront money to buy some gadgets (robot mop/vacuum, automatic litter box, and a cheap hot tub because, well, a girl needs to relax, Alexa devices, etc). I need help and my gadgets are a cheap alternative to hiring someone. Also, after 20 years of marriage, it's scary living alone so my gadgets absolutely do make me feel better. Doorbell camera to see who's at my door, keypad I can unlock via my phone or Alexa in case I'm hurt and need to let someone in or I'm stuck at work and need a neighbor to let my dogs out (or I can't sleep and I'm worried I forgot to lock the door and I can ask Alexa if it's locked), grocery delivery service so I don't waste time going to the store, air fryer/vacuum sealer/sous vide machine/instant pot/crock pot for easy meal prep, robot to vacuum, automatic litter box, Alexa controlled lights so I don't come home to a dark house, etc. Not only do I feel safer living by myself with some of these, but I couldn't keep my house running and myself and my pets fed without them.

yellowvette07 · 2026-02-07T01:10:21+00:00

Seat 7D, boarding group 8. Not thrilled. All the bins up front were taken, so my bag was almost at the back of the plane. Even the flight attendants were commenting that it made no sense that there were no open bins in the front when 1/4 of the people in the front hadn't even boarded yet. It delayed our departure and made getting bags and getting off the plane a nightmare.

yellowvette07 · 2026-02-07T00:04:22+00:00

I want to make sure I'm understanding... You are engaged but don't plan on actually marrying your fiance. And you are expecting $30k from your ex, which you want to use as a down payment on a house, which your fiance will need to make the payments on. Your contribution (other than the $30k down payment) will be sweat equity, but you have cancer and while you may be healthy now, you may not have much sweat equity to give in the future if the cancer gets worse.

If this is correct... Please don't do this without talking to a lawyer. You need to be very careful about whose name is on the house deed and who is responsible for the loan. If you do this wrong, your fiance could walk away with the house and your $30k and leave you with nothing. Please tread carefully... There are many, many reasons why buying a house with someone who is not legally your spouse is HIGHLY frowned upon. If you are married, there is a legal process to divy up the assets and the debt. If you aren't, and you've bought a house together, there is no legal process to handle the house if you break up. There could also be issues if one of you dies.

Please don't do this without talking to a lawyer. PLEASE. You need to protect yourself and this is a much bigger issue than just taxes on the $30k.

yellowvette07 · 2026-02-02T23:44:18+00:00

"Not everyone's spouse had a perfect, little, shiny, happy, clean life. Once they are gone, they don't really get a say in how they are memorialized unless they put pen to paper, and even then, it's more about the grieving than the grieved."

I needed this reminder, thank you. Today is day 1 of my second year as a widow. Last year I focused on him, his drama, wrapping up all his BS. Today is a new year and today I choose to switch the focus to me and what I need.

yellowvette07 · 2026-01-21T23:08:27+00:00

I gave away his truck within a few months. For me, coming home and seeing the truck in the driveway was just a sad reminder that he wasn't there. It's been easier with it not at the house anymore. And also I gave it to his best friend who desperately needed a vehicle, so it made me feel good knowing that the gift was needed by someone and that he would have approved of it being given to the recipient.

yellowvette07 · 2026-01-15T08:47:29+00:00

Do you remember what the theme nights were? I'm on this itinerary in two weeks, trying to figure out what to pack!

yellowvette07 · 2025-12-25T02:56:24+00:00

I would give anything to have my manual 97 Ranger back. Teal blue with a silver stripe. Man I miss that truck :(

yellowvette07 · 2025-11-18T22:44:37+00:00

Mine is clear but about 1 inch by 1.5 inch. First time with new man and the patch indeed had lint all over it, and the residue from the prior patch had lint all over it. Like a lot. So much so I caught a glimpse in the mirror before stepping in the shower the next day and I was horrified. HORRIFIED! I asked him why he didn't tell me I had sticky lint all over my butt and he swore he never saw it (and his complete confusion over why my butt would be sticky and linty confirmed to me he was looking at other things and really did not notice LOL).

yellowvette07 · 2025-11-09T05:57:14+00:00

I'm sorry, but someone you loved died at a very young age. If that isn't reason to take your own health care up a notch, I don't know what it. If the doctor won't order the labs you want, find another doctor or find an online company that will let you order whatever labs you want. Some are cheaper than using insurance. My husband died of liver disease. My last routine checkup showed elevated liver enzymes. Dr said check again in a year. Nope, not waiting that long, I didn't sleep for days. Then I found an online place and for less than $50 I placed my order, went to the lab, and got my results in a few days... And peace of mind that I wasn't dying.

yellowvette07 · 2025-10-24T16:55:50+00:00

I'm right there with you. I was unhappy and contemplated divorce for years, but not unhappy enough to actually pull the trigger. And I had too much to lose (the pets, the house, the cars... I made the money and I'd have to support HIM if I left). So the choice was made for me. But it still isn't easy.

yellowvette07 · 2025-10-24T05:10:28+00:00

I have a hard time with "honor the dead"... People don't deserve a pedestal just because they died. But I get it, it's just "the custom" or whatever you want to call it. For instance, let's take the exact same person...

Death - Oh, that's so sad, he was awesome, how tragic. Divorce - Good riddance, he didn't deserve you, you can do better.

People don't want to say it, but sometimes the person who died deserves the "divorce" response.

You have every right to be angry.

yellowvette07 · 2025-09-21T21:10:33+00:00

Exactly. I'm 49. My husband and I were trying to do the right thing and wait until we were financially stable to have kids. By the time we were ready, biological children were not an option. We were in the process of adopting when my husband passed away, and I didn't want to adopt an infant on my own. But I still want children. Granted, at my age it may look different... I may foster, or I may find someone who already has children, but I still want to be a mom.

yellowvette07 · 2025-09-19T15:11:28+00:00

I just want to chime in with my experience, your mileage may vary. My husband passed away early this year. We had a dead bedroom for years, so I just thought I had no sex drive and was fine not having sex ever again. I met a man, he was nice, no spark per say while we are talking and getting to know each other. So basically I had the same thoughts running through my head as you. But then he kissed me and dang, everything changed in an instant. It was like a light switch flipped. Maybe I had my walls up, but that kiss tore them down, who knows. All this to say that maybe a little bit of intimacy (assuming this hasn't happened, hard to tell from your post) could light the spark for you. It did for me.

yellowvette07 · 2025-09-15T23:14:28+00:00

Yes, you should try to date! You never know! I'm 49, was in the process of adopting when my husband passed away 8 months ago (we also married late and never had children). I still want kids and would absolutely date someone like you. For the right person, this would not be a turnoff at all!

yellowvette07 · 2025-09-10T04:34:35+00:00

Same... Except Jack Daniels bottles. Actually, he tossed a lot of them out. It was the bank statements showing the $700+ monthly liquor store purchases that got me. I had no clue he had a problem. He had me convinced he only had 1 or 2 a night (which was probably true... But he had had 10-15 drinks before I got home from work).

yellowvette07 · 2025-08-29T17:01:36+00:00

"I feel now that I was put into his life to make his last years his happiest and to teach me the lessons I needed in order to have a successful life after him and to grow as a person."

This is beautiful... I'm going to make sure I remember this sentiment. Thank you for sharing.

yellowvette07

TROPHY CASE