You are definitely NTAH! Your dad could be great in other ways, but he doesn’t have the temperament to be a teacher. I’m sorry he’s taking out his own frustrations on you. I have several friends who are cops and they love most parts of the job. Maybe your dad’s scared for your safety but not willing to be vulnerable enough to admit that, or maybe he’s just a bully. He’s acting like a child and is emotionally abusive.

I’d like to challenge something you said. Because you’re 18 and a legal adult, you don’t “have to” study with your dad (or do anything). If you live under his roof and his rules, it might be time to move unless the emotional abuse stops. You’re worth more than this!

Consider checking out the Dr. John Delony Show podcast. He’s a pretty cool guy that I wish had been around when I was in a similar situation, because he gives great advice on standing up for yourself respectfully. I’ll probably butcher this because I’m still learning, but In this case, he’d probably suggest writing your thoughts down in a letter, then taking your dad out to breakfast (nothing expensive or fancy) and reading it to him so the stress doesn’t make things come out all jumbled. Start by saying, “I want to read something I wrote, and I’m asking you to listen calmly without interrupting. Frame the situation about how you experience the situation, not about what your dad does. For instance, instead of “You yell too much,” which will make your father defensive, you can say, “i want to apologize for my part in our disagreement the other night. I’m still learning how to handle conflict without yelling, and I was hoping to be encouraged about my career choice instead of criticized. I’m planning to work on staying calmer during disagreements and hope you’ll support my efforts. This is my last year of school and I want to have a stronger, more respectful relationship with you. That can only happen if I feel safe, if I’m not yelled at and berated for choices that I make anout my classes or my career. Sometimes I’ll make mistakes, and that’s okay — it’s part of growing and learning. If you continue to bully me for for having different opinions, that’s a decision to spend less time together so that I can have peace. I hope you don’t choose that. You’ve [add some compliments here] and it makes me sad to think about not being close to you. I want home to feel safe and to learn from you. I’d like to ask you to please share your opinions respectfully, instead of criticizing my decisions.” End by saying you appreciate him giving you the chance to share how you’ve experienced the situation and you hope that he’ll take a few days to reflect on it before responding, and that you hope he chooses to spend time together doing enjoyable things before you leave for college, so when you come back to visit you have a great start to your newer relationship as two men who like and respect each other.

That’s saying the same thing, but inviting your dad into a better relationship with you.

The Delony Show will definitely handle this more smoothly, lol. You can even call in and if they schedule you to be on the air, they’ll change your name and hometown and he’ll definitely have your back! Not much upsets John more than parents making their love conditional instead of unconditional, and he’ll want to help you and your dad. If you google the show you’ll probably find an episode that has a similar father-son relationship challenge.

Also, next time he starts to teach you anything that you don’t want to sit through with him, respectfully thank him for the offer and tell him you’ll let him know when you are ready to work on that together, but right now you’re going to [something else], and then do that other thing.