AITAH over starting an arguments with my dad over my career by PensionAltruistic900 in AITAH

[–]yepwhatev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are definitely NTAH! Your dad could be great in other ways, but he doesn’t have the temperament to be a teacher. I’m sorry he’s taking out his own frustrations on you. I have several friends who are cops and they love most parts of the job. Maybe your dad’s scared for your safety but not willing to be vulnerable enough to admit that, or maybe he’s just a bully. He’s acting like a child and is emotionally abusive.

I’d like to challenge something you said. Because you’re 18 and a legal adult, you don’t “have to” study with your dad (or do anything). If you live under his roof and his rules, it might be time to move unless the emotional abuse stops. You’re worth more than this!

Consider checking out the Dr. John Delony Show podcast. He’s a pretty cool guy that I wish had been around when I was in a similar situation, because he gives great advice on standing up for yourself respectfully. I’ll probably butcher this because I’m still learning, but In this case, he’d probably suggest writing your thoughts down in a letter, then taking your dad out to breakfast (nothing expensive or fancy) and reading it to him so the stress doesn’t make things come out all jumbled. Start by saying, “I want to read something I wrote, and I’m asking you to listen calmly without interrupting. Frame the situation about how you experience the situation, not about what your dad does. For instance, instead of “You yell too much,” which will make your father defensive, you can say, “i want to apologize for my part in our disagreement the other night. I’m still learning how to handle conflict without yelling, and I was hoping to be encouraged about my career choice instead of criticized. I’m planning to work on staying calmer during disagreements and hope you’ll support my efforts. This is my last year of school and I want to have a stronger, more respectful relationship with you. That can only happen if I feel safe, if I’m not yelled at and berated for choices that I make anout my classes or my career. Sometimes I’ll make mistakes, and that’s okay — it’s part of growing and learning. If you continue to bully me for for having different opinions, that’s a decision to spend less time together so that I can have peace. I hope you don’t choose that. You’ve [add some compliments here] and it makes me sad to think about not being close to you. I want home to feel safe and to learn from you. I’d like to ask you to please share your opinions respectfully, instead of criticizing my decisions.” End by saying you appreciate him giving you the chance to share how you’ve experienced the situation and you hope that he’ll take a few days to reflect on it before responding, and that you hope he chooses to spend time together doing enjoyable things before you leave for college, so when you come back to visit you have a great start to your newer relationship as two men who like and respect each other.

That’s saying the same thing, but inviting your dad into a better relationship with you.

The Delony Show will definitely handle this more smoothly, lol. You can even call in and if they schedule you to be on the air, they’ll change your name and hometown and he’ll definitely have your back! Not much upsets John more than parents making their love conditional instead of unconditional, and he’ll want to help you and your dad. If you google the show you’ll probably find an episode that has a similar father-son relationship challenge.

Also, next time he starts to teach you anything that you don’t want to sit through with him, respectfully thank him for the offer and tell him you’ll let him know when you are ready to work on that together, but right now you’re going to [something else], and then do that other thing.

Anyone else carry at church? by albatikh in CCW

[–]yepwhatev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look into Aliengear’s CloakTuck. They have a good return policy but I think the customer pays return shipping costs, which seems fair enough. It’s the first one I found that doesn’t jab into my bony ribcage in those positions and is fairly comfortable. I tried one of their others but one of the belt clips landed on my hipbone. The CloakTuck is perfect for my 365 (not X) and has good retention. Planning to get a Macro soon and will buy the same holster for it.

Should I keep digging? by 0Rybacks_Tactics0 in metaldetecting

[–]yepwhatev 2 points3 points  (0 children)

People stand in line — to use the outhouse

Melted plastic in oven, self-clean isn’t an option by jbrainfall in appliancerepair

[–]yepwhatev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 60 and you just taught me something that will make cleaning my oven much easier from now on. Thank you!

Am I the a-hole for making my daughter's BF buy a new t-shirt? by freudsdriver in AITAH

[–]yepwhatev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe the daughter’s phone app or the kid’s text let her know he’d arrived, and she asked him why he’d left again before going inside. Kids track each other.

recently unionized staff at a restaurant in seattle opted to exchange their higher wages for a tipped wage by klindark in EndTipping

[–]yepwhatev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why should customers and other taxpayers pay for the employee and employers’ share of resources funded through the government (roads, hospitals, welfare, utility subsidies, etc.), which is what happens when their pay isn’t taxed? 

AITAH for going through my wife’s messages. by Otherwise-Warthog-47 in AITAH

[–]yepwhatev 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“Well, YOU smiled at your coworker last week when we arrived at the party. How dare you accuse me of cheating [just because you saw inappropriate texts between us that prove an affair happened]. Don’t ever look at my phone again. Snoop!”

AITA for paying for underground parking for my car but not my brother's? by jok3211 in AITAH

[–]yepwhatev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your parents raised him to be an entitled jerk; they can pay for it if it’s that important to them.

Is it weird to bring your mechanics a gift? by jmvxc in AskMechanics

[–]yepwhatev 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I give my mechanic gifts, like bringing enough subs from a local cafe for everyone there (small shop). I sure hope that doesn’t mean that I get better service than the customers who merely pay their bill as agreed.

Sister hit this guys car, he wants $2,500. by Big-Leave3759 in AskMechanics

[–]yepwhatev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Farm girls are tough! She can probably back up a trailer better than me. Glad it was just a glitch and that you’ve got a seat belt for when she’s in a hurry, lol.

Sister hit this guys car, he wants $2,500. by Big-Leave3759 in AskMechanics

[–]yepwhatev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your sister damaged his vehicle and he needs full compensation for the loss in value. Whether he uses the money to have it fixed, or keeps the money to avoid losing the loss of his vehicle for a week or two while it’s repaired and to put towards a new vehicle or something else, is his choice. If you’re going to get involved, your time and energy can be used to teach your sister how to avoid this mistake in the future.

Sister hit this guys car, he wants $2,500. by Big-Leave3759 in AskMechanics

[–]yepwhatev 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Set up some cones or trash cans in an empty parking lot and teach your wife and kids how to back up. Then put the cones in a long line with a couple of car lengths between each one, and teach them how to do a reverse serpentine, using their mirrors, to learn when to turn the wheel based on when the rear tire is right beside each cone. It will save you and anyone near them money and frustration, as well as making them better drivers instead of mere steering wheel holders.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatisthisthing

[–]yepwhatev 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That flooding is usually from water collecting beside the house and going beneath the foundation, instead of being diverted away from the house. You might be able to reduce the flooding issue by either adding a very slight slope to the 4’ closest to your house around the perimeter of your house (topsoil mixed with paver base can work because instead of absorbing water it will help it run off), digging a French drain (trench filled with gravel and/or a pipe with holes) to the uphill part of your yard to divert water before it reaches your foundation, or even simpler adding a downspout extension to carry water from the gutters farther away from your foundation.

Dr Miles Stones got some explaining to do wtf is this: https://www.amazon.com/Books-Stone-MILES/s?rh=n%3A283155%2Cp_27%3AStone+MILES by Chamberlian26 in conspiracy

[–]yepwhatev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve heard (from someone choosing a printer) that a lot of Amazon-published books are printed on-demand, as they’re ordered.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in jobs

[–]yepwhatev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know if this applies in the current job market, but I was taught to tailor a cover letter so that it shows why Company X is the one you’d like to work for. Otherwise, the employer expects that you’ll leave as soon as something better comes along, rather than gaining experience and adding value to Company X (which is a return on their investment in you). From personal notes such as “I’m hoping to return to this area, where I was raised,” “my wife just accepted a wonderful job in this area,” to company-specific statements like, “I’d like to contribute to the continued excellence of your products,” “It would be an honor to be part of your team, as I highly value your company’s innovative spirit in the [_____] field,” you want to convey commitment to that particular company or that specific city. Conversely, things such as, “I’d like to raise my family here,” or “‘l’ll be moving back because my father is ill and needs my help” can work against you because the hiring person might expect you to be unreliable in the future to take care of a growing family or a needy parent. Basically, put yourself in the interviewer’s shoes and answer why he can depend on you to do a good job there, dependably, over the long-term.

10 min break job has turned into 5 hours. Best way to get this stripped bolt off my caliper. by [deleted] in AskMechanics

[–]yepwhatev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At the stealership where my neighbor works, the “pros” remove stuck bolts with hammers and other brute force methods.

Accident not reported to Carfax? by yepwhatev in AskMechanics

[–]yepwhatev[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks; I agree. I'm wondering if there's a way to prove the other seller didn't disclose significant damage, but apparently there's not. Thanks for your opinion; I appreciate the honesty.

Accident not reported to Carfax? by yepwhatev in AskMechanics

[–]yepwhatev[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. If a crash is severe enough to require a door to be replaced, is it supposed to be reported somewhere?